Husband drove home drunk
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Anonymous
| My husband drove home drunk, was unsteady on his feet as he kissed our DC goodnight, and then passed out on the couch. I'm so angry that I can't see straight and wonder if I'm crazy for not kicking him out. This is the first time he's driven drunk in years, but he does have a tendency to get completely hammered at least once every couple of years (so intoxicated that I don't want our kid to see him). He does not drink to such extremes on a regular basis. Of course, it's the holidays so we have a lot of things going on, ranging from Christmas at his parents' house to family staying with us next week. What the hell am I supposed to do with this? |
Anonymous
| I have no idea but I understand your concern. My cousin David was murdered by a drunk driver, along with the 2 other people in David's car. David left behind a 2.5 year old son and a 6 week old son. I have no sympathy or concern for someone who can't manage to call himself a taxi or call his wife to pick him up. I don't know how I could ever respect him again. I'm sorry OP. |
Anonymous
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I think you need to wait a couple of days till you aren't so angry and ask him to please NEVER do that again. Tell him that if he needs a ride home, he should call, or just leave the car and take a cab and you'll happily take him back to his car in the morning.
I often take the bus to work if I have a happy hour lined up later. And i park in a garage where I can leave my car overnight if need be, at minimal charge. The "could hurt/kill himself or others" reason is bad enough, but to get a DWI/DUI when you're older and "responsible" is really embarrassing, expensive and inconvenient. He does NOT want that. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Where you live? Look up some facts about DWIs for him. In Virginia if you are convicted of a DWI with a BAC below .15, you get a suspended jail sentence, a license suspension for 1 year, you can petition for a restricted license but must pay ALL fines and court costs and enroll in ASAP before your motion will be granted. You get a minimum $250 fine and an ignition interlock device installed on any car that you drive (which, again, you have to pay for). Hiring a decent attorney costs a grand or so and your insurance goes up dramatically -- some insurance companies drop you. If your BAC on conviction is .15 or above, there is mandatory jail time. If you are convicted of a second offense, there is mandatory time and a long license suspension without the ability to have a restricted permit right away. |
Anonymous
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My nephew lost his dad that way. It really does happen, and it's horrible.
Cabs are cheap. Probably less than the bar tab. Dying is bad. Dying to save a few $20 bills and the inconvenience of retrieving a car the next day? A total wate. |
Anonymous
| Wate |
Anonymous
I think you have it backwords....Getting a DUI/DWI is bad enough. But you could kill someone. |
Anonymous
| Just got a Christmas card from an old coworker. In it she mentioned her daughter only had 18 months to go. She was referencing jail time. She's finishing up a 7 year sentence for hitting a airport shuttle van while drunk. No one died but the now permanently quadrapelegic man along with the other 4 injued parties testified at her sentencing that it should have been longer. |
Anonymous
I agree! |
Anonymous
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OP, I wouldn't be upset that he was drunk (even very drunk) since you said it so rarely happens.
The driving while drunk, though? I would be insanely livid. Has he done this before? |
Anonymous
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Yeah, getting a DUI would suck. However - you know what is really sad? Killing a 5 year old girl because you didn't feel like taking a cab.
Your husband is an asshole. There is NO excuse living in our area with the number of taxis we have to drive drunk. Unacceptable, and if you are too much of wimp to talk to him, show him my post. Or, perhaps he can explain to the mother of this child (or any of the victims of drunk driving) why his getting behind the wheel of a car while drinking was just that important. http://support.madd.org/site/TR/Events/Holiday?pxfid=70361&fr_id=2810&pg=fund |
Anonymous
So sorry, PP. That is just awful. OP, just show him this post. |
Anonymous
Agreed. To me, if you drink and drive and kill someone - you should be convicted of murder. |
Anonymous
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Last Sunday I visited the grave site of a buddy of mine who drove drunk and was killed. I was the passenger in the car 20 years ago. He was an engineer with a bright future.
In the same cemetary is a guy I knew who left 4 kids and a wife for the same thing. I have another friend who was hit by a Drunk. It killed his brother & he's in a wheel chair. I bet he thinks nothing could possibly happen to him. Have him google image search drunk driving for an hour, have him read the stories and then give him the cab company #. There is no excuse. |
Anonymous
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OP - you know your husband. Pick the logic and argument that will resonate with him.
* Our children learn more from what we DO than from what we SAY. Do you want your DC driving after drinking when a teen or young adult? * could kill someone. * could kill himself, leaving your DC without a father. * could have his license suspended. How would he deal with the expense and inconvenience of not being able to drive? Some countries have written their laws such that it is illegal to drive after consuming any alcohol, even just one beer. I think that approach works better for a lot of people. Then there is no judgement as to whether or not they are "OK" to drive. A judgement that is more flawed the more you have had to drink. I rather hope that your DH has a killer hangover this morning to help prove the point that he had too much to drink and had no business getting behind the wheel last night. If he can realize that himself, all the better. If you live in the city, I highly recommend becoming an Uber user. |