NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Propective 4th grade and 7th grade NCS family here. I thought a similar post regarding STA was helpful - so here goes. Could you tell us whether you're still happy with NCS after enrolling, and if there is something you wish you had known before you started, what would that be. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Don't go.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had known that the negative comments about NCS are true and that we should have applied out at the end of 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

My DD just enrolled this fall in the middle school and she is very happy with NCS. She was scared going in, after all the rumors one hears about mean girls, and she did find there were some mean girls, but she says there are no more mean girls at NCS than at her previous school, which was a public school. My DD has made some very good friends, loves the teachers, enjoys the athletics and the drama productions, and generally likes going to school. I could not ask for more.

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP --

It's a lightning rod school, there's no question about it. My kids have had a great experience, which I would say is due to any and all of (a) finding some teachers who have become real mentors; (b) joining a nice team and sticking with it, don't have to be an amazing athlete to do that; (c) being pretty academically oriented; and (d) taking advantage of cross-registration to take some electives at St. Albans to mix things up, have new teachers, etc.

So, I guess I'd say -- try to encourage your daughter to do a sport (doesn't have to be one of the high profile ones); recognize it's pretty rigorous academically and think if that's right for you; and take the negative comments with a grain of salt while recognizing that there are elements (intensity of school/social situations) that may be valid. On the other hand, having talked to friends with kids at schools like Holton and Visitation, on the all-girls' side of things, and Sidwell, in the co-ed mix, I think some of this is just that adolescence is tough for girls in a lot of ways.

Good luck to you -- I have lots of friends with happy daughters at many different schools, and wish the best to your family as you go into this process.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting that NCS gets none of the props that STA does. What gives? Do they need to institute uniforms again for upper school? It's like it lost its way and is getting schooled by holton and others that seem to have a more focused mission. Serious inquiry as we are looking in a year for dd.

[Anonymous]

"None of the props that STA does"? I don't see that. Would you please elaborate?

[Anonymous]

A daughter of a very close, very close friend went. The three of us had lunch. Daughter (now in college) said "It's all true; they are all mean girls". Except her, of course. I went on a tour for my daughter. I didn't like what I saw. And every third word was "Diversity, diversity, diversity" to the point where "we get it!" and didn't apply because we're boring white people. I didn't want my daughter in that stress-machine. It's hard enough on all of the kids in this area to begin with. Another close parent friend tried it for a year - driving in from Great Falls. A horrible experience. But she (parent) wanted "the name" "the name". Another human sacrifice to the great NCS/STA machine. I would only do it if you have a perfectionist, self-starter machine for a daughter. Who is also sufficiently confident to handle the nasties. That's not my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that NCS gets none of the props that STA does. What gives? Do they need to institute uniforms again for upper school? It's like it lost its way and is getting schooled by holton and others that seem to have a more focused mission. Serious inquiry as we are looking in a year for dd.

I honestly think a lot of this is that, on average, middle/high school seems to be harder for a lot of girls than for the boys (although obviously there are many, many boys who can struggle and I'm not trying to minimize that). Some of it (a much smaller part) I would attribute to the vibe of the faculty at STA (oddly, a little warmer and more approachable) vs. NCS, although there are terrific teachers in both places. STA still subscribes a good deal to the teacher-coach model, which seems to work for them and for the boys, while at NCS the athletics is pretty separate from the academics. Part of the appeal of NCS is the overlap with STA -- not only does it effectively fatten up the course catalogue at the Upper School level, but you'll find that families with kids in activities run jointly with STA (some of the teams; the arts, etc.) for the most part like the opportunity their DDs have to interact socially with boys in natural every-day settings.

I think in a way NCS is hurt by getting compared so much to STA -- it might do better reputationally as a stand-alone school where families weren't comparing the two in possibly apples-to-oranges comparisons, given the really different high school experiences for the different sexes. I guess Holton gets compared to Landon but in recent years that has worked to Holton's advantage because of all the bad press for Landon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that NCS gets none of the props that STA does. What gives? Do they need to institute uniforms again for upper school? It's like it lost its way and is getting schooled by holton and others that seem to have a more focused mission. Serious inquiry as we are looking in a year for dd.

Kind of amusing that this poster suggests instituting uniforms has some impact on a school's mission. What does that have to do with anything, exactly? NCS actually just released their strategic plan for the next several years, which includes a very succinct new mission statement:

"We believe in the power of young women and educate them to embrace our core values of excellence, service, courage, and conscience."

As a relatively new family in the middle school (this is our second year), we have found DD's experience to be in line with the mission. DD is very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A daughter of a very close, very close friend went. The three of us had lunch. Daughter (now in college) said "It's all true; they are all mean girls". Except her, of course. I went on a tour for my daughter. I didn't like what I saw. And every third word was "Diversity, diversity, diversity" to the point where "we get it!" and didn't apply because we're boring white people. I didn't want my daughter in that stress-machine. It's hard enough on all of the kids in this area to begin with. Another close parent friend tried it for a year - driving in from Great Falls. A horrible experience. But she (parent) wanted "the name" "the name". Another human sacrifice to the great NCS/STA machine. I would only do it if you have a perfectionist, self-starter machine for a daughter. Who is also sufficiently confident to handle the nasties. That's not my kid.

A bit of a broad brush to effectively label all NCS students "perfectionist, self-starter machine[s]," perhaps? You sound a bit, err, mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"None of the props that STA does"? I don't see that. Would you please elaborate?

Sure.

We have extensively done what research you can short of touring because it is still too soon, but DD (and DS) are in a school where a fair number end up at cathedral schools. We have talked to friends who are graduates of each, some friends with children there etc, websites, dcum, etc. everyone seems to rave over STA but when speaking of NCS it seems we don't hear the same stories that strike us the same way. For example, you hear about mean girls, right? They of course can be everywhere. But when talking about the issue of exclusion at STA it's like, we've got that covered - the boys have to eat with different boys in the refectory to reduce such problems. It's like STA crushes the meanness out of them. And at STA the sports are cocurricular, so we are left with the positive impression that even if our boy isnt stellar, he will be encouraged to do his best and be valued. That makes us a parent feel warmly about a place to send our boy.

We dont get that impression from our research on NCS. We DO feel from folks we have talked to that holton is more like STA for girls. Again, this is my impression as a future prospective parent. Not a troll.

But the difference in feedback on STA vs NCS to us has been surprising, and I hope you can say we are wrong in our impressions, admittedly informed as best we can from grads and families and old dcum.

[Anonymous]

Holton is definitely inclusive and does everything it can to stop mean girls. it also has more of the coach/teacher model like STA. Would not trade my DDs spot in Holton for one at NCS for anything.

[Anonymous]

NCS alum here - it's a fantastic education and a pressure cooker all in one. I graduated a while ago, but still stay in touch with my close friends from there. I went in during middle school, but made a very conscious decision to avoid the mean girl crowd (was in that crowd in the public from which I was going to NCS so didn't want a repeat). There are enough cliques in a 70 person class to avoid the mean girl clique of 10. The students that were the most unhappy were the ones that just weren't super smart/athletically inclined. They kind of got left by the way side and were made to feel stupid and when college admissions rolled around weren't the ones that got a lot of personal attention.

[Anonymous]

PP here - that should have said super smart/academically inclined (though athletics are important there too)