When sticker/reward charts stop working

[Anonymous]

My child has ADHD. He is 8 and medicated (not going to discuss whether to medicate or not. Decision made and I will not comment any further on it). We also use sticker charts for behaviors such as what he is supposed to do when he gets up every morning. However, recently my DS has stopped caring about sticker charts and rewards (reweds he has chosen to work towards in the past). It's getting tougher and tougher to motivate him to get up, dressed and down for breakfast daily. It's becoming a huge battle. So, anyone BTDT? I don't want to end up taking privileges away left and right all the time. I would rather make it something positive, but since he doesn't seem to care about rewards, so I'm at a loss.

[Anonymous]

A sticker chart/reward system only works for a short time for all kids. It's meant to ingrain the behavior. You can't rely on it. You should use it for two weeks max and then take it away/put it away. Bring it back if he starts slipping.

A reward/sticker that is given every day is meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Sometimes it's gotta come from within, even for our ADHD kids.

Before you scream at me for being anything but 113% positive in this safe place called the Special Needs Forum, may I say that I do, in fact, have a son with ADHD (12 y.o.). And a child who does not have a diagnosis. They both go through this intransigent defiant thing starting about now. It should last for at least 3-4 years.

After toddlerhood, I am strongly against automatic Pavlovian reward systems for human children unless the children are profoundly mentally challenged (and at the level of a preschooler).

You're not going off to college with your son, right? You shouldn't even contemplate holding their hand through high school, so as to prepare them for college-and-life. You have to start at some point letting them develop their (yes, I KNOW, compromised) internal motivation cues.

Why not now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A sticker chart/reward system only works for a short time for all kids. It's meant to ingrain the behavior. You can't rely on it. You should use it for two weeks max and then take it away/put it away. Bring it back if he starts slipping.

A reward/sticker that is given every day is meaningless.

OP here. Sorry, I meant to say we use it when needed and go back to it when needed. This round it's simply not working.

[Anonymous]

He is either too old for it now, or it has become too familiar to be an adequate reward/inducement for him and it's not fun anymore.

Is there a way you can really change this up? Move breakfast to the car if possible, or have him sleep in his clothes (sounds weird but it works sometimes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Sometimes it's gotta come from within, even for our ADHD kids.

Before you scream at me for being anything but 113% positive in this safe place called the Special Needs Forum, may I say that I do, in fact, have a son with ADHD (12 y.o.). And a child who does not have a diagnosis. They both go through this intransigent defiant thing starting about now. It should last for at least 3-4 years.

After toddlerhood, I am strongly against automatic Pavlovian reward systems for human children unless the children are profoundly mentally challenged (and at the level of a preschooler).

You're not going off to college with your son, right? You shouldn't even contemplate holding their hand through high school, so as to prepare them for college-and-life. You have to start at some point letting them develop their (yes, I KNOW, compromised) internal motivation cues.

Why not now?

I get it. I do. I am also dealing with an immature child (who is probably at least a year behind his age in maturity). Meanwhile my DS will simply not get up to go to school if I don't do anything. So, how many times should I allow him to either not show up or be severly tardy? I have to drive him to so bus daily. I'm not being snarky here. We have a schedule to keep. DS gets dropped off first and then DD gets dropped off. DS has to get himself up, dressed and bed made and come down for breakfast in 20 minutes (give or take 5 minutes). We get the why do I have to make my bed whine daily. So I told him not to make his bed, and that I would not be doing it. He was upset at night when he got into bed that it was all messy. So, at least he now makes his own bed.

[Anonymous]

Is he getting enough sleep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Sometimes it's gotta come from within, even for our ADHD kids.

Before you scream at me for being anything but 113% positive in this safe place called the Special Needs Forum, may I say that I do, in fact, have a son with ADHD (12 y.o.). And a child who does not have a diagnosis. They both go through this intransigent defiant thing starting about now. It should last for at least 3-4 years.

After toddlerhood, I am strongly against automatic Pavlovian reward systems for human children unless the children are profoundly mentally challenged (and at the level of a preschooler).

You're not going off to college with your son, right? You shouldn't even contemplate holding their hand through high school, so as to prepare them for college-and-life. You have to start at some point letting them develop their (yes, I KNOW, compromised) internal motivation cues.

Why not now?

I get it. I do. I am also dealing with an immature child (who is probably at least a year behind his age in maturity). Meanwhile my DS will simply not get up to go to school if I don't do anything. So, how many times should I allow him to either not show up or be severly tardy? I have to drive him to so bus daily. I'm not being snarky here. We have a schedule to keep. DS gets dropped off first and then DD gets dropped off. DS has to get himself up, dressed and bed made and come down for breakfast in 20 minutes (give or take 5 minutes). We get the why do I have to make my bed whine daily. So I told him not to make his bed, and that I would not be doing it. He was upset at night when he got into bed that it was all messy. So, at least he now makes his own bed.

I think this is a positive sign, OP. I think it shows that when the his action (or really inaction) is allowed to proceed to it's logical conclusion, he will figure it out. He makes his bed now, because he saw the negative impact of not doing it.
If he is not ready, leave without him and take DD to school. Depending on your logistics, work schedule, etc. you can then return to pick him up and take him (he will be tardy and their will be consequences for that) or he has to call a taxi, or something like that. Again, the fact that he turned himself around made the bed suggests he will respond. You just need to bite the bullet and let him actually suffer the consequences.

Also, consider earlier wake up time. I'm not ADHD, and I am a morning person, but there's no way I'd have been able to do my whole morning routine in 20 minutes.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you read this book?
http://www.alankazdin.com/

It does work on the rewards system and based on research rather than just random opinions.

I would think about making his bedtime slightly earlier. I would also consider making things he likes for breakfast to help motivate him. Also, is something going on at school? If he's having difficulty that might make getting to school much less appealing.

[carlynbeatrix]

I think the stickers for the children's training are not for the limited time. we can use different images to teach them. which will be very effective to teach them. The reason behind it is the eye memory. The ear memory in human beings are less than the eye memory. so to use these for the children or the beginners are best.

custom sticker decals

[Anonymous]

What are the rewards? They have to be something really important to the child. For our ADHD son, a toy or treat just doesn't cut, probably because he knows eventually he'll get toys for his birthday and Christmas, etc. However, he would be absolutely miserable without iPAD time and TV, so that is what he must earn. I do have other things on the list, like pick out a movie from Red Box to watch, stay up 30 minutes later on a weekend night, etc., but the iPAD and TV are the big motivators.

[Anonymous]

We have the same issue with my 9 yo DS. The behavior chart wasn't effective for long. What works for me is if he doesn't get up on time, I get to choose the clothes that he wears. If he gets up late, he doesn't have time to consider his choices so I make it for him. I've only had to do it a couple of times. I don't make him wear anything horrid, just not something he'd normally choose for himself.

He and his siblings are in before/after SACC so being tardy to class isn't an issue for him but it can make me late for work. If I'm late for work because of him, I tell him that I'll be picking him up late from SACC because I have to make up the time at work. He hates being the last kid picked up and, therefore, is more motivated to avoid it. Everyone should have consequences for being late.

[Anonymous]

Make sure he isn't depressed. Sometimes thats why kids won't get up and go.

[Anonymous]

The Kazdin Method (book) has ideas and lists of suggestions for rewards/privileges for different ages. There is no upper age limit on reward systems but you have to refresh the rewards from time to time and reevaluate the goals and frequency of rewards.

[Anonymous]

Stickers for the training of children in various aspects of life are very important. The schools are using different such stickers and this stocks are available easily with the online printing companies.

custom stickers