Reply to When sticker/reward charts stop working

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep.  Sometimes it's gotta come from within, even for our ADHD kids.

Before you scream at me for being anything but 113% positive in this safe place called the Special Needs Forum, may I say that I do, in fact, have a son with ADHD (12 y.o.).  And a child who does not have a diagnosis.  They both go through this intransigent defiant thing starting about now.  It should last for at least 3-4 years.

After toddlerhood, I am strongly against automatic Pavlovian reward systems for human children unless the children are profoundly mentally challenged (and at the level of a preschooler).

You're not going off to college with your son, right?  You shouldn't even contemplate holding their hand through high school, so as to prepare them for college-and-life.  You have to start at some point letting them develop their (yes, I KNOW, compromised) internal motivation cues.

Why not now? [/quote]

I get it. I do.  I am also dealing with an immature child (who is probably at least a year behind his age in maturity).  Meanwhile my DS will simply not get up to go to school if I don't do anything.  So, how many times should I allow him to either not show up or be severly tardy?  I have to drive him to so bus daily.  I'm not being snarky here.  We have a schedule to keep.  DS gets dropped off first and then DD gets dropped off.  DS has to get himself up, dressed and bed made and come down for breakfast in 20 minutes (give or take 5 minutes).  We get the why do I have to make my bed whine daily.  So I told him not to make his bed, and that I would not be doing it.  [b]He was upset at night when he got into bed that it was all messy.  So, at least he now makes his own bed.[/b]

I think this is a positive sign, OP. I think it shows that when the his action (or really inaction) is allowed to proceed to it's logical conclusion, he will figure it out. He makes his bed now, because he saw the negative impact of not doing it. 
If he is not ready, leave without him and take DD to school. Depending on your logistics, work schedule, etc. you can then return to pick him up and take him (he will be tardy and their will be consequences for that) or he has to call a taxi, or something like that. Again, the fact that he turned himself around made the bed suggests he will respond. You just need to bite the bullet and let him actually suffer the consequences.

Also, consider earlier wake up time. I'm not ADHD, and I am a morning person, but there's no way I'd have been able to do my whole morning routine in 20 minutes.

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