Teens Trick or Treating

[Anonymous]

My husband has asked my thoughts on this, and I really have no idea! His son, my stepson, is 13. Last year he was with his mom for Halloween, and the year before he was totally happy to go out with us and his little sister. This year, I guess like last year, he wants to join a group of friends from school to trick or treat in a large neighborhood. None of the kids actually live in this neighborhood, and there won't be any parents there. It seems nuts to me. However, my perspective is quite skewed by the fact I have a four year old, so Im very much in the kiddie mindset of Halloween. Plus, by the time I was in 7th grade, we didn't trick or treat at all. So, I thought I'd get some general perspective!

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with teens, as long as proper effort is put into the costume and they are polite.

[Anonymous]

My high schooler trick or treated in 9th grade with friends. They had costumes and didn't go to that many houses.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess I should be clearer. I don't think his trick or treating is nuts. I still enjoy it with the kids! I think dropping him off with a group into a neighborhood where none of them live sounds like asking for trouble. But, again, I can be a bit stodgy. (Of course, my husband knows this. Perhaps he wanted a stodgy perspective!)

[Anonymous]

13 is not too old to Trick or Treat. Older isn't even as long as they put effort into costumes. I think people get irritated by behavior not age.

[Anonymous]

We live in a one of those neighborhoods that attracts tons of kids from other 'hoods. We love it -- we are perfectly glad to give out candy to kids of all ages as long as they have on some sort of costume and are polite. Our own kids are now in HS and college and they trick-or-treated through about 9th grade. After that, they started going out to dinner with their friends instead -- usually to Chipotle where you can get a burrito for $2 on Halloween if you wear a costume.

[Anonymous]

My child is twelve. He will run around with friends in the dark, with his phone in the same neighborhood where we are at a party. He will then come to the party until it is time to go home.

[Anonymous]

Everyone knows the good neighborhoods - you have to go there!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a one of those neighborhoods that attracts tons of kids from other 'hoods. We love it -- we are perfectly glad to give out candy to kids of all ages as long as they have on some sort of costume and are polite. Our own kids are now in HS and college and they trick-or-treated through about 9th grade. After that, they started going out to dinner with their friends instead -- usually to Chipotle where you can get a burrito for $2 on Halloween if you wear a costume.

OP here. Thanks! That's good to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a one of those neighborhoods that attracts tons of kids from other 'hoods. We love it -- we are perfectly glad to give out candy to kids of all ages as long as they have on some sort of costume and are polite. Our own kids are now in HS and college and they trick-or-treated through about 9th grade. After that, they started going out to dinner with their friends instead -- usually to Chipotle where you can get a burrito for $2 on Halloween if you wear a costume.

OP here. Thanks! That's good to hear.

Glad this was helpful. I would just add that for younger teens it's always important to have a very clear plan as to where they are going, with whom, when and how they will get home, and -- most imporatant -- when you expect them to check in if the plan changes. Our kids are really considerate about letting us know if they will be late because we stressed that as long as they kept us informed we could go with the flow -- to a point, of course.

[Anonymous]

Is your issue that he will be without an adult, or that he will be in a different neighborhood?

If the former, I can say that my 13 y/o has been trick-or-treating with friends for a few years now. But it's always been in somekne's neighborhood.

As long as they are going to a safe neighborhood that is relatively easy to navigate, I'd be ok with a different neighborhood, IF they had a good reason for it (like your neighborhood isn't as good for trick-or-treating.). If it were just that they wanted to go somewhere else for no apparent reason, I'd wonder if there was a less appealing, unstated (mischievous) reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I should be clearer. I don't think his trick or treating is nuts. I still enjoy it with the kids! I think dropping him off with a group into a neighborhood where none of them live sounds like asking for trouble. But, again, I can be a bit stodgy. (Of course, my husband knows this. Perhaps he wanted a stodgy perspective!)

He is old enough to go with a group on their own. Assuming it's a safe area, drop them off in that neighborhood. They might want to TOT there because they don't want their friends to see that they are still TOT. I TOT through age 15, we went to a different neighborhood for the same reason, still ran into people I knew. Ah, the silly troubles of teens.

[Anonymous]

I'm cool with teens trick or treating. I did at that age. But come to my house with no costume por even effort, and get an individially wrapped prune.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm cool with teens trick or treating. I did at that age. But come to my house with no costume por even effort, and get an individially wrapped prune.

I would love to do that but I'm afraid of having my home egged, or worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your issue that he will be without an adult, or that he will be in a different neighborhood?

If the former, I can say that my 13 y/o has been trick-or-treating with friends for a few years now. But it's always been in somekne's neighborhood.

As long as they are going to a safe neighborhood that is relatively easy to navigate, I'd be ok with a different neighborhood, IF they had a good reason for it (like your neighborhood isn't as good for trick-or-treating.). If it were just that they wanted to go somewhere else for no apparent reason, I'd wonder if there was a less appealing, unstated (mischievous) reason.

OP here. My main concern is its being a neighborhood where none of the kids actially live.At least if there were a parent nominally "hosting" we'd have a house to pick up and drop off at. And a house for him to go to if he gets tired early or he wants to separate from the group. Plus, I would think being in a friends neighborhood would put something of a check on behavior that might otherwise escalate in a group of 10-12 middle school boys. I doubt it will get beyond ringing a doorbell and running off, but it wouldn't totally shock me if 1 or 2 from his peer group (including him) brings eggs or toilet paper. But, like I said, I'm stodgy. We made the behavior expectations (costume plus polite) very clear, and he will have a cell phone. I know he knows three will be heck to pay if any serious pranks are discovered, but I'm just not sure in the moment, with just peers present, he would make the right call.