Teens Trick or Treating

[Anonymous]

OP once again. Let me give an example. He and his friends got in trouble for having a "mango fight" in a hotel room on an overnight field trip. No real damage except some hefty cleaning bills. It's that level of stuff I'm thinking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My main concern is its being a neighborhood where none of the kids actially live.At least if there were a parent nominally "hosting" we'd have a house to pick up and drop off at. And a house for him to go to if he gets tired early or he wants to separate from the group. Plus, I would think being in a friends neighborhood would put something of a check on behavior that might otherwise escalate in a group of 10-12 middle school boys. I doubt it will get beyond ringing a doorbell and running off, but it wouldn't totally shock me if 1 or 2 from his peer group (including him) brings eggs or toilet paper. But, like I said, I'm stodgy. We made the behavior expectations (costume plus polite) very clear, and he will have a cell phone. I know he knows three will be heck to pay if any serious pranks are discovered, but I'm just not sure in the moment, with just peers present, he would make the right call.

I'm pretty stodgy myself and agree with your reasoning. I've never liked people sending their kids into other neighborhoods to trick or treat. If for whatever reason your's isn't TOT-friendly, find some friends but I always find it odd to have total and complete strangers coming up to my door.

The other piece of manners to remind them is to respect the lights off rule that is being emphasized everywhere. If the door is closed and light is off, they should not knock on that door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I should be clearer. I don't think his trick or treating is nuts. I still enjoy it with the kids! I think dropping him off with a group into a neighborhood where none of them live sounds like asking for trouble. But, again, I can be a bit stodgy. (Of course, my husband knows this. Perhaps he wanted a stodgy perspective!)

Parent of a 14 your old here. I totally agree with you and the answer would e no if mine asked to do this. I would be fine with him trick or treating with friends in our neighborhood though.

[Anonymous]

The issue here isn't whether he should be trick-or-treating in another neighborhood or your own, but whether he should be hanging out with kids who get into "mango fights" and who might egg and TP houses tonight. You and your husband need to talk to your son about this, and plan for a way for him to leave the group if the other kids decide to act like jerks. When our kids have been in this kind of situation, our plan has been for them to text us if they want to be rescued. That way they can just say to the other kids, "I've gotta go -- my parents are nuts about curfews" or whatever excuse allows them to save face. For tonight, set up a rendezvous spot and park nearby in case he needs you to get him early.

(BTW, I posted earlier that we live in a neighborhood that attracts tons of kids and we welcome polite teens wearing costumes. Egging and TPing are definitely not polite, but, in 15 years we've never had a problem like that. In fact, we've mostly had teens in very clever costumes -- my all-time favorites were two boys who came as Al Gore and a Social Security lockbox.)

[Anonymous]

My stepson is 14.5 and went trick or treating. 9th grade. I think he's far too old for that. But nobody asked me so I didn't offer my opinion! But I distinctly remember my last trick or treat at age 12 and I was just embarrassed to actually go up and say "Trick or Treat." I knew I was too old for it at that point. It felt silly to still be out there.