Collin Gosselin: way harsh?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:He's talking about joining the marines. If he's able to join the marines it means he doesn't have a diagnosis (beyond mild Autism or ADHD).

Him seemingly having no problems in his late teens says to me that there was nothing that justified his years spent in an institution. Kids do not fix themselves when they go through puberty. If he was bad enough to be admitted for 2 years (very very rare) he is somehow magically healthy and functional as a 18 year old? Yea, sure.

Agreed, he was dumped.

Meh he is a classic case of anxious attachment . It was inevitable with so many babies and an authoritative mother.
Kate really is a bad mother. The kids would have benefitted from having both parents equally involved since she was so high strung and authoritative but she couldn’t do that for her kids and did alienate their father.
She even knew she had problems and knew there was help available but choose not to get it.
Jon was an abused spouse and he made choices and decisions that reflected what happens when someone is abused.

I think you mean authoritarian mother; authoritative is good parenting.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:When his dad sued for custody, his mother didn’t even show up to the hearing. Imagine not showing up to fight for your own child. Disgusting. He’s better off without her in his life.

Maybe she felt she had to protect her other kids and it was safer for everyone if he wasn't in the home. Sometimes hard choices need to be made.

So if she was so concerned with safety and felt he was such a danger...why didn't she show up to the custody hearing to make that known? The fact that she didn't show up and just let Jon have him makes it pretty clear she just wanted him off her hands, it wasn't about safety.

You have no way of knowing what the reasons are. It's all speculation. But why don't any of Collin's other siblings speak to him? That's a bit weird, no?

Parental alienation. It’s a thing.

A convenient explanation that lets Jon completely off the hook.

Maybe...but Kate has a history of alienating people and being toxic. The woman who doesn't speak to her parents or any of her four siblings, alienated her so-called best friends (Beth and Bob)...Jodi and Kevin...the dozens of friends and family members that conveniently disappeared over the years...you don't think THIS woman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bNjC3QpXWI ...or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVBOcQ_gFiw isn't capable of parental alienation? yea ok

Yet the kids stuck with her. Whatever Kate is, Jon is a deadbeat dad. I'm not sure why anyone puts him on a pedestal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From Kate's diary:
Tuesday, September 5, 2006 Today I was officially a horrible mommy. I failed all the way! I was absolutely awful to Collin who was awful to me! He does things just to irritate me! I told him at one point to sit in the corner (one of a million times) and he disregarded me and threw the one gate on the floor! I am too rough with him and the girls see that-- I feel so guilty that I treated him like that that I will set out tomorrow to be a better mommy!

[[keep in mind Collin was literally 2]]

Oh I wanted to mention my stress melt down today. After dealing with insurance companies all day due to being sideswiped by the old lady in the Shillington farmers market parking lot and having to file those reports, then having Heather stop by unannounced and it was the girls first day back to school after vacation, then Alexis and her ear pain and trying to make her an appt to see the doctor at a r*tarted practice, I let the kids play for the first time in the water table that had beans in it instead…. Collin decided to pour the beans all over the floor while I was inside peeling potatoes, so the girls told me and I sent all the offenders inside. Well Collin didn’t like that I sent him in and when I was out in the garage, I heard three large bangs…I went inside and three highchairs were on the floor literally. I was instantly so SO angry, that I grabbed him and spanked him as hard as I could and thought I may seriously injure him so I sent him to his crib…. And whipped him into it very hard! I for the first time thought I may really lose it and am glad that I just let him in his crib til Jon came home! I have never felt that I may really seriously injure a child but today was that day!
I don’t know what it is about Collin! He is usually kind and caring and nice and tender but when his temper flairs…. Watch out! I don’t like that he doesn’t know how to handle his frustration and anger! I didn’t even get a chance to have him apologize to me because I had to drop everything and take Alexis to the doctor!

Wednesday, May 16 2007 Today I think I crossed the line. With the kids. All was sorta fine up til naptime. During naptime, Alexis and Joel trashed their room TWICE and were spanked both times….they had to stay in their beds for a long time and when I allowed them to come down with everyone else…and FIVE minutes later they were into the m &ms (potty training rewards) with Collin and I really REALLY lost it! I pulled Collin up by the hair and I spanked them so hard!!! I love them so much but I was so very angry with them! I put them back in their beds for their safety and I have apologized many many times but I still feel very very guilty!!! I love them and I saw my dad in myself today and that really scares me!!!!! Lord I am begging you to help me be a loving caring kind and slow to anger mommy. Please stop me somehow from hurting my kids and help me to be slow to anger!!!! I love them SOOO much. Help them to obey me!!!!! And not get into trouble!!!!! Please Lord, amen!!!!

Collin triggered her because they're the same (doesn't know how to handle his frustration and anger? Pot meet kettle) and the hair thing is terrible. But I cannot help but notice we only know about her worst moments because she was in some way trying to hold herself accountable for them (to herself, to God?) by putting it in black and white and trying to do better. It's not like Jon kept a journal of the thousands of days he was solo-parenting 8 kids with "killed it again, everyone loves me, never got mad!"

If anything good came out of this TLC-litters-of-kids mania it's that RE practices won't transfer buckets of embryos anymore. I have a hard time believing that even the best people on earth could parent 6 toddlers well simultaneously, and these are not the best people. Add in the weird religiosity (help them to obey me ::vom:: ) and you've got a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

I personally think putting your kids’ lives on TV for entertainment is just as bad as alienating your child from the other parent. The worse was putting him in a facility without visiting, but putting your kids in a show like that for years is abusive too.

[Anonymous]

Actively choosing to live your life and raise your children in the spotlight is confusing to me. It just seems harmful and transactional. Yuck.

Wish the kids luck and hope their sense of self and relationships are not distorted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think putting your kids’ lives on TV for entertainment is just as bad as alienating your child from the other parent. The worse was putting him in a facility without visiting, but putting your kids in a show like that for years is abusive too.

I think we all agree with that now. I also think the vast majority of people on this thread watched the show for some length of time in the early aughts, so it feels pretty hypocritical to act like they should have known they were doing serious damage to their kids creating the entertainment we consumed at the time. Wanting to get them off the air was Jon's best parenting move, but I admit that at the time (and maybe still now) I thought it was mostly because he came across terribly on the show, not for his kids' protection.

And by that token, the kids that live with Kate are not giving interviews. They're not doing ET exclusives. So it's weird to give Jon all these kudos for trying to keep his kids out of the public eye when now, after the show is canceled, only the ones that live with him are in the spotlight. That might not be to Kate's credit, for all we know she's begging them to give interviews and they refuse, but it's just another example of how in this thread anything that favors Jon is automatically true and obvious, and anything that cuts against him is somehow Kate's fault or doesn't matter. And the exact opposite reactions for facts that tend to favor Kate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:When his dad sued for custody, his mother didn’t even show up to the hearing. Imagine not showing up to fight for your own child. Disgusting. He’s better off without her in his life.

Maybe she felt she had to protect her other kids and it was safer for everyone if he wasn't in the home. Sometimes hard choices need to be made.

So if she was so concerned with safety and felt he was such a danger...why didn't she show up to the custody hearing to make that known? The fact that she didn't show up and just let Jon have him makes it pretty clear she just wanted him off her hands, it wasn't about safety.

There is zero information about why she didn't show up. We've all heard stories of one parent asking to change the court date and forgetting to tell the other parent at all or waiting until the last minute. Maybe her lawyer said she didn't need to attend. Maybe collin asked her not to attend because he didn't want to see her. She's a nurse and maybe couldn't get off work or she'd loose her job. And maybe she realizes she is not a good parent to him and thought it was in the best interest for him to go with Jon. Who the hell knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:When his dad sued for custody, his mother didn’t even show up to the hearing. Imagine not showing up to fight for your own child. Disgusting. He’s better off without her in his life.

Maybe she felt she had to protect her other kids and it was safer for everyone if he wasn't in the home. Sometimes hard choices need to be made.

So if she was so concerned with safety and felt he was such a danger...why didn't she show up to the custody hearing to make that known? The fact that she didn't show up and just let Jon have him makes it pretty clear she just wanted him off her hands, it wasn't about safety.

You have no way of knowing what the reasons are. It's all speculation. But why don't any of Collin's other siblings speak to him? That's a bit weird, no?

Yea it’s so weird that they wouldn’t speak to the child the mom they live with also doesn’t speak with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think putting your kids’ lives on TV for entertainment is just as bad as alienating your child from the other parent. The worse was putting him in a facility without visiting, but putting your kids in a show like that for years is abusive too.

I think we all agree with that now. I also think the vast majority of people on this thread watched the show for some length of time in the early aughts, so it feels pretty hypocritical to act like they should have known they were doing serious damage to their kids creating the entertainment we consumed at the time. Wanting to get them off the air was Jon's best parenting move, but I admit that at the time (and maybe still now) I thought it was mostly because he came across terribly on the show, not for his kids' protection.

And by that token, the kids that live with Kate are not giving interviews. They're not doing ET exclusives. So it's weird to give Jon all these kudos for trying to keep his kids out of the public eye when now, after the show is canceled, only the ones that live with him are in the spotlight. That might not be to Kate's credit, for all we know she's begging them to give interviews and they refuse, but it's just another example of how in this thread anything that favors Jon is automatically true and obvious, and anything that cuts against him is somehow Kate's fault or doesn't matter. And the exact opposite reactions for facts that tend to favor Kate.

Yeah I don’t judge anyone for watching, really. I don’t watch but the blame lies with the parents, and I don’t think individual viewers are the problem so much as terrible internet commenters who don’t mind saying cruel and inappropriate things to children. Neither parent comes off well to me for doing this to their kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This poor kid

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8744785/Kate-Gosselin-accused-physically-emotionally-abusing-16-year-old-son-Collin.html

Collin seems to say a lot of things about his parents that may or may not be true. I'm not sure I believe these claims. Do any of the other siblings say anything similar?

Hannah said he was untruthful about the encounter with Jon. But bless the judge this is an awful situation. Who would retain custody of both parents are charged with assault/ abuse? I fear he would end up in another group home setting/hospital.

You would hope a good psychologist or therapist could get to the bottom of it to determine if the claims are true and if he's being truthful. Given all the other kids in the house it would seem odd if just one is singled out for such harsh and disparate treatment and they can likely confirm or deny if what he's saying is true.

He had written that one psychologist was harming him as well. Jon released those letters when he first went for custody. I wonder if other doctors would be cautious to have it publicized if they took him on as a patient.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7470303/amp/Jon-Gosselin-says-Kate-mentally-tortured-son-Collin.html

Seems like Collin accuses people of harming him when he isn't getting his way. He sounds like a very troubled kid.

He spent several years in a facility that wasn't being monitored by family or an outside party. Who knows what happened to him in there? After all that he has to be troubled.

This What facility was he put in? Look at all the abuse allegations of the facilities for trouble. The kids that has come out. Paris Hilton anyone ?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:She just doesn't talk about it which gives them the opportunity to. What kind of parent discloses their childs problem to the public? What kind of parents parades their child out in public to give interviews about it and encourages them to talk badly about their other parent? Collin obviously had serious problems if he had to be removed from the home. I've known two families that have had to send their child away due to their physical violence and psychological problems. That's not an easy decision regardless of how bad it is for you or other members in the home.
Have you even watched the show? Jon was a loser, barely helped with the kids and stopped working at one point requiring kate to pull in all the money for the family. At least she has an actual career. Jon still as none and is using these interviews as income.

Kate paid the bills by raiding her kids trust accounts and exploiting them for fame. I’m also a SN parent and agree there are some situations where kids need to be placed in a residential facility but have never known any families to only visit once a year and can’t imagine that’s the therapeutically recommended amount. Jon is a loser but Kate is a horrible person.

Where has it been documented she visited just a couple times. Don’t believe everything you read.

Collin stated it in his interview. Listen to it, it's linked in this thread. Unless you are suggesting he is lying?

Well, most of his siblings don't speak to him either. I'm going to guess there's a lot we don't know about Collin and his story.

Parental alienation of siblings is real. My brother and I were estranged from our sister for 9 years because our mom weaponized us to her and manipulated her into not speaking to us. (Fortunately, the truth came out when mom died.) This is VERY VERY common with narcissists.

Why do Jon's 22 year old daughters tell a different story? They are adults, do you believe them?

"... refute any claims that they are intentionally being kept away from him.

While Cara is reserved in sharing her thoughts about Jon – “I wouldn’t even know what to say about him,” she tells PEOPLE – Mady offers insight on the sisters’ perspective."

”He makes it seem like we’re being kept from him, which is insane,” Mady states. “He should maybe spend some time thinking about why we don’t want to see him, and maybe realize that if he ever does want a relationship with us, talking about us on TV is not the way to make that happen.”

https://people.com/tv/mady-and-cara-gosselin-on-dad-jon-he-doesnt-even-know-us/


https://people.com/tv/mady-and-cara-gosselin-on-dad-jon-he-doesnt-even-know-us/

The parents went to court and Kate had the backing of the studio to take away custody. He doesn't know them as he only had very limited visitation and she refused visits, the courts did very little.

Money wins every time. She had control and took it.

[Anonymous]

Wow I just watched that interview. Seems like a really great kid.