No children allowed at family members wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let me solve this for you. No one owes anyone an invitation. In one case, children were invited, and in the other, they weren’t. No one owes anyone an invitation to their wedding, blood or not.

No one is owed a response to an invitation either, in such case. You want a very specific wedding with very specific rules (to minimize your costs and simplify logistics), not a family and friends celebration. I don't want to even reply to your invitation. Take my no response as a no. I don't even know why you are inviting me.
My friend did special arrangements so people could bring kids (long Catholic wedding with two separate receptions). It was a lot of fun.

Don't worry- with your attitude I doubt you'll have to worry about getting too many invitations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

[Anonymous]

I did this OP and provided a babysitter for the kids. I would have been fine with kids at my wedding but I had a family member whose kids were completely out of control and wouldn't do anything about it.

So all kids were banned so those two kids would not talk at the top of their lungs for the short ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

Just like Emily Post says! Wow, you must be a direct descendant of Jackie O.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let me solve this for you. No one owes anyone an invitation. In one case, children were invited, and in the other, they weren’t. No one owes anyone an invitation to their wedding, blood or not.

No one is owed a response to an invitation either, in such case. You want a very specific wedding with very specific rules (to minimize your costs and simplify logistics), not a family and friends celebration. I don't want to even reply to your invitation. Take my no response as a no. I don't even know why you are inviting me.
My friend did special arrangements so people could bring kids (long Catholic wedding with two separate receptions). It was a lot of fun.

Don't worry- with your attitude I doubt you'll have to worry about getting too many invitations.

It's not a competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

True. And the appropriate response is, "thank you for changing your plans to o go out of town so you could come to our Christmas party. We are so glad to have you here." Not, "sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's. Not. About. You."

OMG, so many of you are making my sides hurt.

If you are not the host of the Chirismas part, or the bride /groom at the wedding, you realize the show will go on without you, right?

No one needs tothank you for appearing at their Christmas party, or wedding. If you are an invited guest, it’s up to you to appear or not.

An especially good employer or family member may stroke your ego, if they think you’re a snowflake type, but the choice (do you get that,.. CHOICE?) is yours to start with.

Wait wait...you didn't even thank people for coming to your wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let me solve this for you. No one owes anyone an invitation. In one case, children were invited, and in the other, they weren’t. No one owes anyone an invitation to their wedding, blood or not.

No one is owed a response to an invitation either, in such case. You want a very specific wedding with very specific rules (to minimize your costs and simplify logistics), not a family and friends celebration. I don't want to even reply to your invitation. Take my no response as a no. I don't even know why you are inviting me.
My friend did special arrangements so people could bring kids (long Catholic wedding with two separate receptions). It was a lot of fun.

Don't worry- with your attitude I doubt you'll have to worry about getting too many invitations.

+1 the attitude here is hysterical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

True. And the appropriate response is, "thank you for changing your plans to o go out of town so you could come to our Christmas party. We are so glad to have you here." Not, "sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's. Not. About. You."

OMG, so many of you are making my sides hurt.

If you are not the host of the Chirismas part, or the bride /groom at the wedding, you realize the show will go on without you, right?

No one needs tothank you for appearing at their Christmas party, or wedding. If you are an invited guest, it’s up to you to appear or not.

An especially good employer or family member may stroke your ego, if they think you’re a snowflake type, but the choice (do you get that,.. CHOICE?) is yours to start with.

Wait wait...you didn't even thank people for coming to your wedding?

NP here. A simple "Thank you for coming, we loved having you?" yes. An elaborate, "We know that Second Cousin Karen also had a piano recital the night before, so we really appreciate that you didn't go to the reception after that so you could catch a late flight to be with us today?" no. Thank you for coming. Not, "OMG YOU DECIDED TO COME TO THIS INSTEAD OF RUN IN YOUR OFFICE'S 5K YOU ARE THE BEST GREAT-AUNT EVER!!!!"

[Anonymous]

A simple "Thank you for coming, we loved having you?" yes. An elaborate, "We know that Second Cousin Karen also had a piano recital the night before, so we really appreciate that you didn't go to the reception after that so you could catch a late flight to be with us today?" no. Thank you for coming. Not, "OMG YOU DECIDED TO COME TO THIS INSTEAD OF RUN IN YOUR OFFICE'S 5K YOU ARE THE BEST GREAT-AUNT EVER!!!!"

I love this. I think it should be the minimum standard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care and feel the need to go if you aren't that close to the couple? If you were close to the couple, I don't think you'd have an issue with not bringing your children. I left DS at home when my sister got married in Mexico in a small destination wedding where I was the maid of honor with a no kids request. My MIL watched DS for the weekend. I didn't even think twice.

I get these requests from time to time from old college friends, and it just isn't worth it to arrange everything to be there. I am a huge reply no to out of town weddings and just send a simple gift - much cheaper than flights/hotels/etc. And you still show you care by sending a little something.

DP. If I am close to the couple then they would ask me before sending the invitations, and they would know in advance that I am not coming without kids. DH can go without me.

You people are such a pain in the ass. I have kids and I would never take a stance to always say no to a wedding that wouldn't invite them.

Why is it a big deal to you? It makes life easier for everyone.

Because your attitude makes it clear that you're the kind of person who tells everyone that you were invited to this wedding but they (GASP!) wouldn't let you bring your children, aren't they horrible, blah blah blah. If you went quietly into the night, no one would care. You seriously expect a couple to ask YOU who THEY should invite to their wedding? I'm not sure you'd be able to fit through the chapel door with that big head of yours anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

You're an ass. They bothered to invite you. You couldn't be bothered to send a response? Seriously? I bet they're glad you didn't come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

You're an ass. They bothered to invite you. You couldn't be bothered to send a response? Seriously? I bet they're glad you didn't come.

We invited some people out of obligation, so weren't expecting a response. I didn't chase down anyone who didn't respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

You're an ass. They bothered to invite you. You couldn't be bothered to send a response? Seriously? I bet they're glad you didn't come.

I don't think they noticed. I meant to ask my parents about it and forgot. I don't know the people, some cousin who I never talk to and I've seen once or twice when I was a kid. I think it was the second marriage. I think the invitation was FB's fault as, while we are not FB friends, my kids friended some relatives they never met, and we were invited out of obligation.

[Anonymous]

Op - have only the immediate-family member go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care and feel the need to go if you aren't that close to the couple? If you were close to the couple, I don't think you'd have an issue with not bringing your children. I left DS at home when my sister got married in Mexico in a small destination wedding where I was the maid of honor with a no kids request. My MIL watched DS for the weekend. I didn't even think twice.

I get these requests from time to time from old college friends, and it just isn't worth it to arrange everything to be there. I am a huge reply no to out of town weddings and just send a simple gift - much cheaper than flights/hotels/etc. And you still show you care by sending a little something.

DP. If I am close to the couple then they would ask me before sending the invitations, and they would know in advance that I am not coming without kids. DH can go without me.

You people are such a pain in the ass. I have kids and I would never take a stance to always say no to a wedding that wouldn't invite them.

Why is it a big deal to you? It makes life easier for everyone.

Because your attitude makes it clear that you're the kind of person who tells everyone that you were invited to this wedding but they (GASP!) wouldn't let you bring your children, aren't they horrible, blah blah blah. If you went quietly into the night, no one would care. You seriously expect a couple to ask YOU who THEY should invite to their wedding? I'm not sure you'd be able to fit through the chapel door with that big head of yours anyway.

I go to weddings only if I am close to the people. I would know well in advance what kind of wedding it is, how is it planned, etc. We talk, we are close. We can talk about stuff without anyone being offended, which seems like a foreign concept on dcum. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, we celebrate later.
If I am invited by some random cousin I will reply to the "save the day" note that we will not be attending, I don't wait for the invitation.