Austistic teen kicked off plane.....

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the general mindset here that if you screw up, you should not be able to ask for help.

Things went wrong for the mom; she made a mistake. So she is supposed to just suck it all up and not help her child by asking for help from others?

I sure as hell hope none of you ever make a mistake or screw up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the general mindset here that if you screw up, you should not be able to ask for help.

Things went wrong for the mom; she made a mistake. So she is supposed to just suck it all up and not help her child by asking for help from others?

I sure as hell hope none of you ever make a mistake or screw up.

You have the right to ask for help. But the right to ask, does not mean you have a right to receive it.

This mom also didn't seem to ask, so much as demand and threaten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the general mindset here that if you screw up, you should not be able to ask for help.

Things went wrong for the mom; she made a mistake. So she is supposed to just suck it all up and not help her child by asking for help from others?

I sure as hell hope none of you ever make a mistake or screw up.

You have the right to ask for help. But the right to ask, does not mean you have a right to receive it.

This mom also didn't seem to ask, so much as demand and threaten.

This. No issue with her screwing up and asking, its the demand and the threat that is the issue. The plane was not landed due to the food issue, but her saying her child can get out of control and she may not be able to control her or stop it. Then, its a safety issue for everyone. If the child wasn't autistic, but mom made threats, they probably would have handled it the same way. Mom's behavior is the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the general mindset here that if you screw up, you should not be able to ask for help.

Things went wrong for the mom; she made a mistake. So she is supposed to just suck it all up and not help her child by asking for help from others?

I sure as hell hope none of you ever make a mistake or screw up.

You have the right to ask for help. But the right to ask, does not mean you have a right to receive it.

This mom also didn't seem to ask, so much as demand and threaten.

The way I thought it sounded was that she was starting to panic. The way she tells it, and yes it's her perspective but it rings true to me, was that she saw a problem brewing and started to panic when her numerous options were rebuffed. It seems like she felt like she saw that she was out of options and was frustrated with the lack of help for a problem that was so easily avoided, as evidenced by the fact that the airline did finally relent and no problem actually occurred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrotearenting a special needs kid does not give you carte blanche to be an entitled asshole making all sorts of demands that you did not pay for-she should have fed the kid before getting on the plane or brought food the kid liked and asked to heat it up. The mom is full of it-bet she did not wait on one line while at disney either.

There are actually Special Needs passes for Disney, but not ones for being a jerk.

Okay, really - we're going to be upset that this mom might not have waited in long lines at Disney. Why exactly? You are jealous why?
Because this family's life is probably like this nonstop every single day and has been for 17 years? - with a large person (teen) having fits over trivial things everywhere they go, but also at home (and probably a lot worse at home) - everything is an expense, much of their lives are either about difficult behavior or about getting the call from the school or whoever about the difficult behavior, but it's your turn to be first in line at Disney because... why?

I don't agree with this mom 100% (she does sound entitled). Sometimes people with a lot of resources still expect the waters to part for them - I will admit to being jealous of that. We have a very special kid and not many resources at all. Our family life has been a struggle since the kid was born. I've given up a career I love for it, we have virtually no monetary resources for anything (we are deeply and unreasonably in debt and the only hope out of it is an inheritance some day - if not for that, we'll be living our retirement in a box somewhere next to the river), our lives for the first 10 years were like a nonstop 24 hour marathon of trying to keep the kid (who, despite his needs, we love desperately) alive, much less worry about where and how we vacationed.

Did we do the Disney thing? Did we stand first in line? Yes we did. I think that that single handedly saved our entire family. Why? Because it's one place where you can go with your family where you aren't freaks. It's one place that you can go where you are welcomed rather than kicked out. I guess you don't know many such families, but as soon as word gets out that you have such a child, there aren't too many 'mommy' play groups you get invited to anymore, not to many people stopping by for coffee - people ignore and isolate you. Your family is on the 'freak' list (at school too) and that includes the siblings. There is not much time to do any kind of socializing because you have a very intense, physically and mentally tiring life. We had no babysitter even for a good 10 years - not even family. Nothing. The kid didn't even sleep but maybe 6 hours a night too?
The only way to get a kid to not behave that way on a plane (so that, what privilege, you can actually GO SOMEWHERE. Did you ever think what it might be like to not be able to go anywhere with your family - first class or cattle class, either way, without making the damned news? It's a big privilege for such families and it takes a lot of ground work to make that happen. That ground work means going a lot of places with said special kid - who is going to freak out and have tantrums until a really old age - and working it out. People are always staring, it's not very relaxing - have you ever thought of what its like to be a sibling in that household? It's not easy.
We have been meeting families who have given their special kids to institutions early on because they couldn't handle it. I can understand that given what our family has gone through (I would never do that myself, but it's been a terrorizing struggle)- but when those familes try to visit said kid from what I'm told those same institutions are very hostile to the parents. Have you thought of what life is actually like for these families?
But by all means - just look and see the 'Disney' privilege that you are apparently not getting and be jealous of that family.
And let me tell you - that Disney privilege (which we have not been able to afford in years) is not exactly for the parents or even the special kid - it's as much for the siblings of the special kid so that they don't feel stared at and stressed out all the time. For once your family is welcome somewhere.

This mom probably overreacted just due to being sick of having a stressful life. Some of these families don't make it. Many get divorced, many of these kids are shipped off to institutions where there are few trips anywhere at any time, some sadly end in violence.
I do have a special kid that I can travel with. It has taken my last 15 years 24/7 to make that happen and probably part of it is due to his/her personality (probably easier going than others, despite the hell of the first many years). It's still nerve wracking to travel on a plane or even being in public- suppose he/she does get upset? As they get older that is more of a worry as the consequences could be grave. I'm not going to judge this family.

If you persist in judging I'd recommend befriending just such a family and maybe offer to watch their kid for 10 minutes so that the mom/dad can get coffee or go to the bathroom or something without said kid maybe jumping out a window, flushing the checkbook down the toilet, emptying everything out of the fridge/freezer, seeing how the dish soap tastes, etc. See how it goes. And balance your other kids, spouse, career and finances while you are at it. 10 minutes is probably enough for the average person to handle such a life.

[Anonymous]

I have never witnessed a family not take the necessary food and toys needed to care for an infant in a flight. Sure infants cry, but that is reasonable behavior for a child. Regardless of what the mother needed or thought she was entitled to receive on the her commercial flight, it is completely her responsibility to make sure her son had what he needed to complete a successful flight. Autism does not entitle anyone to free food, or bad behavior on a commercial flight or anywhere. Bad behavior on a commercial flight is a completely different "thing" than bad behavior in a restaurant or a movie, etc. Flying on a commercial airline is not an entitlement. There are plenty of other transportation options available to everyone! If you can not travel, you don't travel. Just like Disney changed the process allowing those with disabilities to ride unlimited rides. There is now time/cue system in place. Mothers of autistic persons sued about that, also. Due to their autism they are not able to wait for their scheduled 1 time per day ride time. They can only tolerate, like and or are able to ride 1 or some of the rides at Disney and it is unfair they now have to spend so much money to be treated like everyone. People want to be treated fairly and equally, then demand to be treated different when a need for convince arises.

[Anonymous]

12:17, I'm in awe of you. Honestly, I don't know how you do it.