Are you putting all your friends through a political-purity test right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I value my friendship even my friend supports current president. We have been friends for over 30 years. I can’t convince my friend not to. It is very sad. However, we are great friend & I avoid to talk about politics.

+1

I'm sorry for my friends who are losing their jobs, and express sympathy in their individual situations, but overall, I still think that the country is finally on the right path. These people will be fine.

Dp. You don't know that. You are a terrible person, pp. I hope your 'friends' who lost their jobs dump you. You are no friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

Good people vote to take away human rights from you and your children? Good people vote for rapists and people who are actively trying to harm everyone except white males?
Okay...

I'm so sick of people like you. I'm the PP, and I abhor Trump but I'm not such a small-minded moron that I can't see past who some people voted for. Yes, they're good people. The fact that they voted for Trump doesn't erase everything else they've ever done in their lives. Of course I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with their politics, but that doesn't mean I want to erase years and years of good friendship.

I bet you have people you are friends with who voted for Trump but would never tell you. Your insistence that you wouldn't ever engage with a Trumper is ridiculous - I bet you do all the time and you either ignore it because the relationship benefits you or you have no idea because they don't feel like arguing with you. Do you ask your car mechanic who they voted for? Your dry cleaner? Your cleaning company? Your boss and all your co-workers? Are you going to ask all the teachers at your kids' school? Of course not. But keep on spewing your ridiculousness on an anonymous board I guess. I hate that I'm aligned with people like you. We are not the same even if we voted for the same person.

NP. That poster is quite direct, but the questions are worth asking. If you were to sit down with those friends and ask them point blank to explain to you why they felt it was OK to vote for someone who was hell bent on taking rights away from people and ignoring our constitutional framework of governing, wouldn't that feel fundamental to how someone is as a person? I get it, I have friends who are traditional Republicans, and I have some who I thought were friends who are full on Trumpers. I've been posing questions such as these to them, and they are unwilling to engage - I don't pound it over their heads, I'll ask once, if they're unwilling I drop it. And them. Because if they don't have the courage of their convictions, I simply no longer respect them. They won't even try to explain it? That means they're cowards. Why should I sweep that under the rug? That's how we got here - too many of us normalized really abnormal and harmful behavior. I do in fact have the courage of my convictions, as friends with disabilities have literally cried to me that they're being blamed for a frickin' plane crash, and Black friends who literally said they feel they are less than human to this administration. I can't voluntarily spend time with someone who is part of why that is true, and glad about it.

So you're saying that who someone voted for is who they are as a person? There are no other factors at play? Nothing about who they've been for 50 years? I will not spend time with someone who says racist things (already cut that friend and her husband out) or laughs at federal employees losing their jobs or actively celebrates what this administration is doing. But I won't stop being friends with someone who voted for Trump even if I have lost respect for them. But you do you.

Assuming you are the same PP, you are taking the easy way out. You aren't asking them about it at all, just avoiding it, and unless you hear something blatantly racist, you are just live and let live about it. And that's your choice. But if I was that kind of person, I would not have the kind of close friendships that I do with many women of color. They know I have their back, and don't go along to get along. They are more important to me than some 50 year old who is nice to me,but has voted for a felon who sexually assaults women, separates families, destroys the US govt literally and gives access to all our data to a megalomaniac. People who voted for him for should be ashamed.

I'm also a former fed, DH is a fed and I have two daughters. They would not respect me if I had close friends like that and just ignored the elephant in the room. Especially given how he treats women and young girls. If I can't confront a friend, how do I model to them how to stick up for themselves in this soon to be dystopian future? Our daughters are watching as their rights are being ripped away...

Have you asked all the teachers and administrators at your child's school who they voted for? Your hairstylist? The person bagging your groceries? Your doctor and dentist? You must, right? Because you wouldn't give your business/support/money to anyone who voted for him obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I value my friendship even my friend supports current president. We have been friends for over 30 years. I can’t convince my friend not to. It is very sad. However, we are great friend & I avoid to talk about politics.

This is why we are in this mess

You are friends with racist unamerican shit

They have no values

They have no morals

They are unintelligent

How exactly are they your friend when they are ok with women and minorities losing all rights? Children dying? Consumer protection gone? Etc?

Admit it you are as stupid as they are.

They support Mr Nazi taking over the US a king who hates all but white Christian men and only wants your beholden to him,

By the way we did not elect musk as king. You are friends with someone who doesn’t want you to have a right to vote. Project 2026 or medical care for you or your kids.

My dog snoozing, a nice cup of coffee and the posts like this make for a nice Sunday morning. Normalcy is coming back, leadership that wants secure boarders, more efficient government, doctors to not mutilate children and liberals melting down. Aaaaah, refreshing.

I know some people who are Trump voters who have always been blatantly racist and hateful to the lgbt community. My in laws, who I can’t cut out of my life, know where I stand and if they say anything awful I just leave the room. What I don’t know what to do with are people like this PP who claim to believe things that are so out of touch with reality. I don’t understand how they can reconcile their views with the obvious disregard for rule of law, blatant racism, and extraordinary levels of hatefulness from this administration. My strategy is to try to politely avoid them. If someone is so blind to reality, I don’t think I have any hope of persuading them. None of my close friend voted for Trump so that makes things much easier.

I think you'd be surprised. We know better than to talk about it around you because you're such a basket case on this issue.

But, we've been friends for a long time, so we overlook your myopia.

Dp. So you can't be true friends then. You are hiding your true self. I think if you are proud of who you are and voted for you wouldn't hide it.

As it is you don't really have a friendship and btw true friends know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are cutting off relatives and long time friends based on who they voted for then you are the extremist.

Hardly. But honestly, I don't think they care. They can hang with each other.

+1
My MAGA brother cut me off years ago. I've tried over and over to reconnect and he will not have it. So I agree, he is the extremist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all of you cutting friends and family out of your lives, dropping the NYT and Washington Post, dropping Twitter and Facebook. . .I don't know. It's kind of sad to me. None of my friends are Trumpers, but none of them are doing any of this stuff either.

Why should I subscribe to a newspaper that doesn’t do its job? Why should I be friends with people who align themselves with white supremacists. It’s not sad. It’s just natural consequences.

+1

These are weak willed people. They don't really stand on principle and have a hard time understanding why it matters so much. They are much more morally relativist for now...I suspect there will be a tipping point for even them down the road.

DP. Maybe they're just not into being as performative as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

no 👏 they're 👏 not 👏

THIS. This is what structural racism looks like. These people are nice to YOU and YOUR FAMILY. Cool cool. But they vote to oppress others and cause them harm.

Well, as a woman, and as someone with two daughters, and as someone whose husband is a federal employee (which I used to be), no, the person they voted for isn't nice to me or my family.

But I should stop being friends with them because...then next time they won't vote for a Republican? Um, ok. It amazes me the kind of power you people think you have over others. You think by not spending time with anyone who voted for Trump you're doing any good? Keep patting yourself on the back, but you're not winning any awards by pretending to be friends only with liberals.

I don't think I have power over anyone. But Trump is a test of character, and people who applaud him in front of me are not people I want to give my time to. In my book, they aren't good people, even if I used to think they were. Is there nothing someone could do to change your view of their morality? Because that is what this is all about. Clearly your redline is different, and people may or may not judge you for it. Obviously you judge people like me for not associating with fascists. I am okay with that and can sleep at night.

Obviously there are things someone could do that would make me cut them off. If these friends made racist comments, laughed at the federal employees I know who are currently struggling, etc., then I'd stop being friends with them. But they haven't. Go ahead and call all people who voted for Trump fascists. You can say that there's no way you'd have a conversation with someone that like, much less be friends with them, but in my mind more divide isn't what we need in this country. Clearly you disagree, so sleep well.

They consider fascism an acceptable outcome and have enabled it.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And they all passed. I’m not friends with bigots.

The extended family? They are very kuntry, currently any relationship cannot be salvaged. I’ll be there when the scales fall off their eyes. (Or if they have an emergency)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

no 👏 they're 👏 not 👏

THIS. This is what structural racism looks like. These people are nice to YOU and YOUR FAMILY. Cool cool. But they vote to oppress others and cause them harm.

Well, as a woman, and as someone with two daughters, and as someone whose husband is a federal employee (which I used to be), no, the person they voted for isn't nice to me or my family.

But I should stop being friends with them because...then next time they won't vote for a Republican? Um, ok. It amazes me the kind of power you people think you have over others. You think by not spending time with anyone who voted for Trump you're doing any good? Keep patting yourself on the back, but you're not winning any awards by pretending to be friends only with liberals.

I don't think I have power over anyone. But Trump is a test of character, and people who applaud him in front of me are not people I want to give my time to. In my book, they aren't good people, even if I used to think they were. Is there nothing someone could do to change your view of their morality? Because that is what this is all about. Clearly your redline is different, and people may or may not judge you for it. Obviously you judge people like me for not associating with fascists. I am okay with that and can sleep at night.

Obviously there are things someone could do that would make me cut them off. If these friends made racist comments, laughed at the federal employees I know who are currently struggling, etc., then I'd stop being friends with them. But they haven't. Go ahead and call all people who voted for Trump fascists. You can say that there's no way you'd have a conversation with someone that like, much less be friends with them, but in my mind more divide isn't what we need in this country. Clearly you disagree, so sleep well.

They consider fascism an acceptable outcome and have enabled it.

Exactly. Eventually it will sink in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

Good people vote to take away human rights from you and your children? Good people vote for rapists and people who are actively trying to harm everyone except white males?
Okay...

I'm so sick of people like you. I'm the PP, and I abhor Trump but I'm not such a small-minded moron that I can't see past who some people voted for. Yes, they're good people. The fact that they voted for Trump doesn't erase everything else they've ever done in their lives. Of course I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with their politics, but that doesn't mean I want to erase years and years of good friendship.

I bet you have people you are friends with who voted for Trump but would never tell you. Your insistence that you wouldn't ever engage with a Trumper is ridiculous - I bet you do all the time and you either ignore it because the relationship benefits you or you have no idea because they don't feel like arguing with you. Do you ask your car mechanic who they voted for? Your dry cleaner? Your cleaning company? Your boss and all your co-workers? Are you going to ask all the teachers at your kids' school? Of course not. But keep on spewing your ridiculousness on an anonymous board I guess. I hate that I'm aligned with people like you. We are not the same even if we voted for the same person.

NP. That poster is quite direct, but the questions are worth asking. If you were to sit down with those friends and ask them point blank to explain to you why they felt it was OK to vote for someone who was hell bent on taking rights away from people and ignoring our constitutional framework of governing, wouldn't that feel fundamental to how someone is as a person? I get it, I have friends who are traditional Republicans, and I have some who I thought were friends who are full on Trumpers. I've been posing questions such as these to them, and they are unwilling to engage - I don't pound it over their heads, I'll ask once, if they're unwilling I drop it. And them. Because if they don't have the courage of their convictions, I simply no longer respect them. They won't even try to explain it? That means they're cowards. Why should I sweep that under the rug? That's how we got here - too many of us normalized really abnormal and harmful behavior. I do in fact have the courage of my convictions, as friends with disabilities have literally cried to me that they're being blamed for a frickin' plane crash, and Black friends who literally said they feel they are less than human to this administration. I can't voluntarily spend time with someone who is part of why that is true, and glad about it.

So you're saying that who someone voted for is who they are as a person? There are no other factors at play? Nothing about who they've been for 50 years? I will not spend time with someone who says racist things (already cut that friend and her husband out) or laughs at federal employees losing their jobs or actively celebrates what this administration is doing. But I won't stop being friends with someone who voted for Trump even if I have lost respect for them. But you do you.

Assuming you are the same PP, you are taking the easy way out. You aren't asking them about it at all, just avoiding it, and unless you hear something blatantly racist, you are just live and let live about it. And that's your choice. But if I was that kind of person, I would not have the kind of close friendships that I do with many women of color. They know I have their back, and don't go along to get along. They are more important to me than some 50 year old who is nice to me,but has voted for a felon who sexually assaults women, separates families, destroys the US govt literally and gives access to all our data to a megalomaniac. People who voted for him for should be ashamed.

I'm also a former fed, DH is a fed and I have two daughters. They would not respect me if I had close friends like that and just ignored the elephant in the room. Especially given how he treats women and young girls. If I can't confront a friend, how do I model to them how to stick up for themselves in this soon to be dystopian future? Our daughters are watching as their rights are being ripped away...

Have you asked all the teachers and administrators at your child's school who they voted for? Your hairstylist? The person bagging your groceries? Your doctor and dentist? You must, right? Because you wouldn't give your business/support/money to anyone who voted for him obviously.

NP. You keep posting that, but I don't have a choice in who my child's teacher and administrators are. I don't have a choice on who is working the lane I'm in and bagging my groceries. My dentist, yeah, we actually had a conversation that came up naturally about a year ago. If my dentist or doctor started lecturing me about MAGA BS, though, you better believe I'd be out of there. Why is that hard for you to grasp? But in some areas finding a PCP is really difficult, and they'd be in the situation of having to stick with someone whose views they object to. That's not something to make fun of, especially when it comes to healthcare. That's showing how awful our society is and how hamstrung many of us are in taking crumbs for healthcare, but I digress. None of this is the same as volunteering to actually befriend someone and doing it knowing full well they hold values completely antithetical to your own. And watching policies they voted for do harm to people I care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

no 👏 they're 👏 not 👏

THIS. This is what structural racism looks like. These people are nice to YOU and YOUR FAMILY. Cool cool. But they vote to oppress others and cause them harm.

Well, as a woman, and as someone with two daughters, and as someone whose husband is a federal employee (which I used to be), no, the person they voted for isn't nice to me or my family.

But I should stop being friends with them because...then next time they won't vote for a Republican? Um, ok. It amazes me the kind of power you people think you have over others. You think by not spending time with anyone who voted for Trump you're doing any good? Keep patting yourself on the back, but you're not winning any awards by pretending to be friends only with liberals.

I don't think I have power over anyone. But Trump is a test of character, and people who applaud him in front of me are not people I want to give my time to. In my book, they aren't good people, even if I used to think they were. Is there nothing someone could do to change your view of their morality? Because that is what this is all about. Clearly your redline is different, and people may or may not judge you for it. Obviously you judge people like me for not associating with fascists. I am okay with that and can sleep at night.

Obviously there are things someone could do that would make me cut them off. If these friends made racist comments, laughed at the federal employees I know who are currently struggling, etc., then I'd stop being friends with them. But they haven't. Go ahead and call all people who voted for Trump fascists. You can say that there's no way you'd have a conversation with someone that like, much less be friends with them, but in my mind more divide isn't what we need in this country. Clearly you disagree, so sleep well.

They've already shown you by their vote and their applause for him on tv. Most people with a backbone would have said something then. And do you think YOU aren't helping to cause divide by being a bystander? I can tell you that you are helping the Trumpers by your inactions. Did you learn nothing about this in school? I'm in my early 50s and we had holocaust survivors speak to us and tell us how it all starts. And that you must speak out as soon as possible or it all snowballs.

“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe.” - Elie Wiesel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll answer from the other side of the coin. I’m a Trump supporter but would never judge or disown a friend just because they’re a Liberal. In fact I have many Liberal friends and family and we just don’t touch upon those issues. See how that works? That being said, I am very proud of this President and all of his actions to date, but I keep those thoughts and feelings to myself.

Still proud? Do u want Trump third term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not friends with Nazis so no.

DP.

Loathe Trump, but just don’t understand this POV.

Obviously, the vast majority of Trump supporters are neither Nazis nor anything approaching Naxis.

So what exactly do you hope to accomplish with your disdain and invective?

Seems to me it’s just emotive venting, and almost certainly counterproductive.

My advice to everyone who doesn’t like what’s happening: grow the eff up and have conversations with people.

You have to live with them one way or another.

They are enabling racism so…

So…how are you/we going to stop them?

By ignoring them? By calling them Nazis?

The only path to making things better is to persuade/compromise.

It’s adulting 101.

How do you suggest “compromising” on fascism? Bigotry?

My DH and I have spent YEARS trying to share facts and reason with MAGA family members. They absolutely refuse to let go of the misinformation. You can’t persuade people who are 100% committed to the narrative.

Funny how I don’t see you pushing MAGAs to compromise at all.

[Anonymous]

I had a PCP spend about half my physical explaining to me why he was voting for Trump and you can bet I never went back.

I mean I wasn’t happy about having a MAGA doctor but the real issue was it was completely inappropriate to use my time like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not friends with Nazis so no.

DP.

Loathe Trump, but just don’t understand this POV.

Obviously, the vast majority of Trump supporters are neither Nazis nor anything approaching Naxis.

So what exactly do you hope to accomplish with your disdain and invective?

Seems to me it’s just emotive venting, and almost certainly counterproductive.

My advice to everyone who doesn’t like what’s happening: grow the eff up and have conversations with people.

You have to live with them one way or another.

They are enabling racism so…

So…how are you/we going to stop them?

By ignoring them? By calling them Nazis?

The only path to making things better is to persuade/compromise.

It’s adulting 101.

Not arguing, seriously asking - how does one compromise on racism? And what I'm seeing here on this post, and what I certainly experience in real life, is that Trumpers really aren't that interested in having conversation. Right here we see people say they change the subject and call it being polite. They aren't interested in learning about the effect these racist policies and practices are having on real life human beings because, well, they're racist and they agree with it. So again, I just wonder, what would a compromise on racism look like, and are we going to run that by Black and Brown communities? Would it pass the sniff test, like could you look at them straight in the eye and tell them you support this so-called compromise on racism? That's my test - could I call up my Black friends and say hey, we have this solved. This is what we're going to do. And stand by it?

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

Good people vote to take away human rights from you and your children? Good people vote for rapists and people who are actively trying to harm everyone except white males?
Okay...

I'm so sick of people like you. I'm the PP, and I abhor Trump but I'm not such a small-minded moron that I can't see past who some people voted for. Yes, they're good people. The fact that they voted for Trump doesn't erase everything else they've ever done in their lives. Of course I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with their politics, but that doesn't mean I want to erase years and years of good friendship.

I bet you have people you are friends with who voted for Trump but would never tell you. Your insistence that you wouldn't ever engage with a Trumper is ridiculous - I bet you do all the time and you either ignore it because the relationship benefits you or you have no idea because they don't feel like arguing with you. Do you ask your car mechanic who they voted for? Your dry cleaner? Your cleaning company? Your boss and all your co-workers? Are you going to ask all the teachers at your kids' school? Of course not. But keep on spewing your ridiculousness on an anonymous board I guess. I hate that I'm aligned with people like you. We are not the same even if we voted for the same person.

NP. That poster is quite direct, but the questions are worth asking. If you were to sit down with those friends and ask them point blank to explain to you why they felt it was OK to vote for someone who was hell bent on taking rights away from people and ignoring our constitutional framework of governing, wouldn't that feel fundamental to how someone is as a person? I get it, I have friends who are traditional Republicans, and I have some who I thought were friends who are full on Trumpers. I've been posing questions such as these to them, and they are unwilling to engage - I don't pound it over their heads, I'll ask once, if they're unwilling I drop it. And them. Because if they don't have the courage of their convictions, I simply no longer respect them. They won't even try to explain it? That means they're cowards. Why should I sweep that under the rug? That's how we got here - too many of us normalized really abnormal and harmful behavior. I do in fact have the courage of my convictions, as friends with disabilities have literally cried to me that they're being blamed for a frickin' plane crash, and Black friends who literally said they feel they are less than human to this administration. I can't voluntarily spend time with someone who is part of why that is true, and glad about it.

So you're saying that who someone voted for is who they are as a person? There are no other factors at play? Nothing about who they've been for 50 years? I will not spend time with someone who says racist things (already cut that friend and her husband out) or laughs at federal employees losing their jobs or actively celebrates what this administration is doing. But I won't stop being friends with someone who voted for Trump even if I have lost respect for them. But you do you.

Assuming you are the same PP, you are taking the easy way out. You aren't asking them about it at all, just avoiding it, and unless you hear something blatantly racist, you are just live and let live about it. And that's your choice. But if I was that kind of person, I would not have the kind of close friendships that I do with many women of color. They know I have their back, and don't go along to get along. They are more important to me than some 50 year old who is nice to me,but has voted for a felon who sexually assaults women, separates families, destroys the US govt literally and gives access to all our data to a megalomaniac. People who voted for him for should be ashamed.

I'm also a former fed, DH is a fed and I have two daughters. They would not respect me if I had close friends like that and just ignored the elephant in the room. Especially given how he treats women and young girls. If I can't confront a friend, how do I model to them how to stick up for themselves in this soon to be dystopian future? Our daughters are watching as their rights are being ripped away...

Have you asked all the teachers and administrators at your child's school who they voted for? Your hairstylist? The person bagging your groceries? Your doctor and dentist? You must, right? Because you wouldn't give your business/support/money to anyone who voted for him obviously.

Dp. I thought we were discussing friends? Is the person bagging my food friends? Most likely not.