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Anonymous
Unless you are that person’s doctor you do not diagnose them (mental illness, WTF?) or have input into their treatment plan. Stay in your lane. |
Anonymous
And people are free to transition to the gender they identify with. It’s not about “stereotypes”. 
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Anonymous
You are full of crap. Go back down your rabbit hole and don’t come back. |
Anonymous
Sex is biology. Gender is stereotypes. If it’s about changing gender, why is the treatment changing sex? (Which is not possible). |
Anonymous
This is the question I always ask and never get a good answer. People say “they want their gender to match their sex”. So you want a socially constructed stereotype to match your biologic sex? I thought we were supposed to be overcoming these stereotypes, not bowing down to them. It’s really not being transgender, it’s being transsexual (for those who transition). I’m not sure why it isn’t called that. |
Anonymous
Nobody is trying to change their DNA or swap out their gonads.
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Anonymous
DP But they’re surgically altering their genitalia. And why the eye roll? They are literally trying to physically become the opposite sex. |
Anonymous
I’m PP who told her child’s story. There are certainly going to be situations where someone shouldn’t rush to transition. But all of this talk about “models” again just jumps into making blanket statements for entire groups of people rather than treating people like individuals. There is no conspiracy. There are therapists who will not question much, and immediately be totally affirming, and maybe that’s who this person found. But no one is forcing anyone on HRT. My own child was never suicidal to my knowledge and no one ever suggested it to me. Therapy was somewhat useful but it was really just a lot of honest communication as a family that led us in the direction it did. I think a lot of people don’t want to or can’t do the hard work of really communicating with their kids in an open way. They have a set opinion and don’t want to hear anything their kid says if it violates their own ideals. And that’s not just related to being trans. My husband’s parents were conservative Christians and they weren’t open to any opinions or thoughts their kids had if they didn’t match their conservative Christian views. This isn’t your story or your child and you conveniently don’t want to give too much information so there’s no way to know if the kid and family really are fine. But I’d also fully admit that sometimes people have additional circumstances that merit more time and consideration. If I’d had a kid who was often unstable and had a personality disorder I would have been even more cautious. I actually do know a kid like this who has severe mental health issues and also identifies as non binary and the mental health issues take center stage. But as much as that’s true, there are also plenty of parents who just don’t want to accept their kids who will say they know their kids aren’t really trans. I’ve talked to a parent like that too—where it’s pretty obvious that they would never be accepting no matter what. And although I feel for that kid and think eventually that kid is going to bolt at 18 and probably not talk to that parent, it’s also that parent’s decision. It’s not my kid. You really don’t NEED any report or study if you’re treating your child like an individual human being and have a trusting and loving relationship with them. It’s all fine and good for looky loos who just want to gawk and be morally superior to obsess weirdly over studies. But studies are not people. And even IF every study in the world assured me of something about my own child but I saw with my own eyes and knowledge as a mom that they were wrong, I’d 1000 times listen to my kid and not random studies. Last, “other voices” have been heard in half of the United States. It’s completely bizarre that you act like you’re being victimized when: 1. You aren’t trans and don’t have a child who is. 2. Half the US state governments have made this their culture war du jour since it’s no longer cool to pick on gay people and they don’t want to talk about the deeply unpopular issue of abortion. You’re not the victim when you’ve been getting exactly what you want. |
Anonymous
You can’t become the opposite sex. You’ll always be xx or xy. There are superficial changes to align with a certain gender but that doesn’t change your sex. |
Anonymous
And, even worse gaslight everyone else into believing that they are now the sex. And BTW, I pay for all of this through my insurance, so yes it does affect me. |
Anonymous
I always wonder if it’s the same 3 people here who say this stuff over and over or if this is just all of Loudon county and this is who elected Youngkin. Like are there 3 people here who gnash their teeth perpetually obsessed with trans people? And they just post over and over because they’re absolutely losing their minds over the idea that trans people exist? Or is this site overrun with bigots who love that they have an anonymous space to say the things they’d never dare in person. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| I've posted earlier in this thread (parent of an adult trans child who transitioned after 18). One comment I'd like to make is that medical science is often not settled at all -- additional data comes out that people need to consider with their doctors. For instance, HRT was off the table for many years as a result of (flawed) studies that showed risks of breast cancer & heart disease that later turned out to be relatively low risks for most post menopausal women. Most medical matters that are serious involve a certain level of consulting with medical professionals & doing your own research & advocating for your loved ones. That's what parents of trans kids have done & will continue to do -- and those who are not in our shoes, even a family friend who's feeling like an advocate -- do not belong in that medical conversation unless invited (and maybe the PP who is such an impassioned family friend can continue to work with that family but should not pretend that this instance is representative of the majority of care). Most of this thread illustrates that trans health care is a political topic that people feel empowered to weigh in on -- even impassioned to weigh in on. Ask yourself why that is the case? My child was never pressured to transition by anyone. No doctor, mental health professional, or ally ever said to my child that they ought to transition. There is a lot of social pressure to conform to gender norms, actually. At any rate, once again (I'm the 'we need to change the world for our loved ones' PP) I wish much strength and support to all the families of trans kids out there. And I am grateful for the non-political actors, medical professionals & researchers alike, who continue to help us better understand the needs of trans children & adults. |
Anonymous
Do you understand how puberty works? Trans people’s own bodies will, if left to do their thing, remake themselves in puberty in ways that do not work for some of those people, not because of gender stereotypes but because gender is not only about bodies and social norms—it is also about brains in ways we don’t fully understand yet. What we do know is that no amount of conversion therapy changes gender identity in a given person. If you’re really concerned about the impact of rigid gender roles on trans kids, I hope you are out there fighting for more gender-neutrality in everyday life (including in the construction of new buildings and renovation of old ones). Somehow, I doubt this. |
Anonymous
No. They don’t understand and they don’t want to understand. So there’s really no point in engaging with them seriously. They’re just weirded out by the idea of trans people. The same kinds of things were totally acceptable to say publicly about gay people until relatively recently. |