Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And as someone who did the the “American” way sucking it up for my first birth and then having a Chinese postpartum doula help me during my second, I appreciate how different and how much easier it was to recover and cope. With good food, sufficient sleep, and someone even giving me massages to help my milk come in and to recover.

I don’t want some stranger massaging my boobs.

So suck it up and room in with baby at the hospital like everyone else.

Exactly. There’s no in between.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted. It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners. Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.

I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth. I recovered at home and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby. We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister). We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US. I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.

Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.

Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days. Sounds nice though.

Agreed. Culturally, 40 days confinement is the norm for us and that means that everyone pitches in. The entire family prepared and helped for this event. It is believed that these 40 days are crucial for maternal and baby health (mental and physical). Childbirth is considered a new birth for the mom and she and the baby are not left alone. It is a significant event for the whole family.

In my home country, I could have stayed in a traditional birthing center for at least a week or 10 days, if I wanted. Hospitals now keep you for 2-3 days because of fear of infections and C-sections might stay for 7-8 days. But, we still have this culture of home confinement and now you can get postpartum doulas if you do not have family members to help.

I doubt many American women would want to be stuck at home for 40 days just because they had a child. That seems excessive and also a huge burden on women in your family. I notice how it’s glossed over the women were expected to provide unpaid labor for 40 days. No thanks.

Wow! This is a really POS response. Don't talk of all the other American woman would want. Speak only for yourself.

I loved being home with my mom, my sister, my NB and my DH. So I was not bored and loved the company. I was recovering and I wanted to be cared for at home. Of course, since we are not like your family, it was not a burden on my family members. No, there was no thought of paying them because that is an offensive, ugly and repulsive mentality. This is not how we function.

Yes, I only wanted female members of my family to help me. They were giving me massages, helping me to nurse and helping me to bathe. I would not want my father or brother to be doing that for me. I don't know what kind of weird family you have.

There is no reason to be dismissive because of cultural differences. But, I pity your thought process and your family culture, because you neither have a family support system like I have nor you are capable of being a support to someone else. I pity you.

NP. So the women in your culture don't usually work outside the home?

Why do you think so?
Women in our culture, especially those who are in the US, are very well educated, regardless of if they are working outside the home or inside the house. Most are college educated and most work in high paying STEM jobs. They also belong to high HHI families.

Usually, people can plan and properly budget/allocate funds, time, resources to take care of these kinds of situations for several reasons - a culture of pitching in for family events and close knit families, a mindset for valuing these traditional cultural milestones, and most importantly - financial means to pay for resources. Our community happens to be among the richest communities in the US.

There is a very strong tradition of higher education in our culture for both men and women. Girls are encouraged to be good in STEM and most get high paying jobs. Our kids excel in academics, so much so that there is an achievement gap in the US between how far behind other kids are compared to the kids in our culture. We are the community that has cracked the code of how to have our girls excel in STEM. Most of our community is college educated (the percentage of women in our community who are college educated exceed the percentage of college educated White males in this country!).

So, in terms of knowledge, marketable skills, job opportunities, family support and financial emancipation, women in my culture in the US are actually doing quite well.

I suppose the women in my family have usually had jobs where you couldn't arrange for extended time off like this, even with advanced notice. It's hard to get coverage for a specialty surgeon, for example.

I'm glad your cultural customs work for you. You are obviously very proud of them.

NP. Well aware of those cultural customs. Also proud to be from a culture that actually cares about women and their babies. In those cultures there are post partum centers with post partum doulas to take care of baby and woman while mom rests. You can also hire a lady to take care of you for forty days. All my friends had these postpartum doulas. It’s not just family rallying around you for unpaid labor. Those countries actually have family friendly maternity leaves. All my friends went back to work after, not so much the us.

Thailand? India?

Singapore. There are child care centers within every living neighborhood district. All my professional friends went back to work, since they had so much support from grandparents, availability of daycare, family and Nannies. Every friend hired a post partum doula, they were shocked that I went it alone with my oldest. The first I barely struggled through. The second I found a Chinese post partum doula to hire in the US, handed the baby off and slept for a whole day. First I barely ate, second I was being cooked three healthy meals a day. The experience was like night and day.

I would totally hire a Chinese post partum doula if I had another baby! And I’m not even Chinese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted. It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners. Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.

I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth. I recovered at home and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby. We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister). We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US. I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.

Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.

Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days. Sounds nice though.

Agreed. Culturally, 40 days confinement is the norm for us and that means that everyone pitches in. The entire family prepared and helped for this event. It is believed that these 40 days are crucial for maternal and baby health (mental and physical). Childbirth is considered a new birth for the mom and she and the baby are not left alone. It is a significant event for the whole family.

In my home country, I could have stayed in a traditional birthing center for at least a week or 10 days, if I wanted. Hospitals now keep you for 2-3 days because of fear of infections and C-sections might stay for 7-8 days. But, we still have this culture of home confinement and now you can get postpartum doulas if you do not have family members to help.

I doubt many American women would want to be stuck at home for 40 days just because they had a child. That seems excessive and also a huge burden on women in your family. I notice how it’s glossed over the women were expected to provide unpaid labor for 40 days. No thanks.

Wow! This is a really POS response. Don't talk of all the other American woman would want. Speak only for yourself.

I loved being home with my mom, my sister, my NB and my DH. So I was not bored and loved the company. I was recovering and I wanted to be cared for at home. Of course, since we are not like your family, it was not a burden on my family members. No, there was no thought of paying them because that is an offensive, ugly and repulsive mentality. This is not how we function.

Yes, I only wanted female members of my family to help me. They were giving me massages, helping me to nurse and helping me to bathe. I would not want my father or brother to be doing that for me. I don't know what kind of weird family you have.

There is no reason to be dismissive because of cultural differences. But, I pity your thought process and your family culture, because you neither have a family support system like I have nor you are capable of being a support to someone else. I pity you.

NP. So the women in your culture don't usually work outside the home?

Why do you think so?
Women in our culture, especially those who are in the US, are very well educated, regardless of if they are working outside the home or inside the house. Most are college educated and most work in high paying STEM jobs. They also belong to high HHI families.

Usually, people can plan and properly budget/allocate funds, time, resources to take care of these kinds of situations for several reasons - a culture of pitching in for family events and close knit families, a mindset for valuing these traditional cultural milestones, and most importantly - financial means to pay for resources. Our community happens to be among the richest communities in the US.

There is a very strong tradition of higher education in our culture for both men and women. Girls are encouraged to be good in STEM and most get high paying jobs. Our kids excel in academics, so much so that there is an achievement gap in the US between how far behind other kids are compared to the kids in our culture. We are the community that has cracked the code of how to have our girls excel in STEM. Most of our community is college educated (the percentage of women in our community who are college educated exceed the percentage of college educated White males in this country!).

So, in terms of knowledge, marketable skills, job opportunities, family support and financial emancipation, women in my culture in the US are actually doing quite well.

I suppose the women in my family have usually had jobs where you couldn't arrange for extended time off like this, even with advanced notice. It's hard to get coverage for a specialty surgeon, for example.

I'm glad your cultural customs work for you. You are obviously very proud of them.

And guess what. Even my friends who were doctors took their forty days. You have a bunch of excuses to treat women poorly and tell them to suck it up.

Ah. You misread. I was referring to the women who were taking time off to massage someone and offer support. Alas, that was not on the plate for them.

Again, I am happy that your ways work for you, and I support your decision to promote them. The US is a free country, after all.

[Anonymous]

I would imagine the doctor friends would get 40 days off after giving birth. However I cannot imagine that their employer would give them 40 days (or even half that) to go take care of their SIL or whoever else in their family gave birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I feel so badly for women who need to subject themselves to hospital regulations while giving birth to their babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one sleeps in the hospital. Everyone gets checks. Use the bassinet. Have someone stay with you.

No. The baby is a patient and should be cared for by hospital staff. Not by another patient that just had an intensive medical procedure.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they hate us

It’s this right here.

I gave birth at GW and could definitely sense that they hated me.

Are you in middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More coordination with checks could help.

If only you were the only patient. Alas.

I can’t stop laughing at the woman who whined that an entire laundry list of people (including the lactation consultant, who can have dozens of patients at once, and the janitor, who can have 100 rooms to deal with) didn’t just “coordinate” so she could sleep. Please. Bring a competent family member or friend to help you or GO HOME if you want no one to interrupt you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a baby is hard work. Whoever told you it was a vacation? Years ago women stayed in hospital two weeks after giving birth but that was before greedy insurance companies took over the medical profession. Sadly, the populace lemmings followed these avaricious companies over the cliff.

We have so many reasons to have a 2nd revolution in the U.S.

I was born in 1969. My Mom was in the hospital for a week after a normal, vaginal birth. She says she was treated like a Queen. I stayed in the nursery with the other babies most of the time, while my Mom rested. Nurses gave her daily back massages and sponge baths, and lessons on baby care. This was in Virginia. How far we have fallen as a society. It’s sad.

How idiotic that this was ever a thing. Nurses are medical professionals, not masseuses.or spa employees.

[Anonymous]

The problem is not hospitals, the problem is that families are so splintered, many new mothers have nobody to take care of them!

I didn’t mind interrupted sleep during my hospital stays because I got a lot of support, and I knew when I went home I would get even more support. I fed and cuddled with my baby, and when I wanted sleep I handed him off to someone he was related to by blood. Would never hand him off to a medical professional unless he had medical needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave birth in 2016, 2018 and 2022. No nurseries at all and these were at 2 different NoVA hospitals.

The first time I just thought this was my burden to bear. I tried and tried. I was so sleep deprived, shaking and I remember sobbing at nurses. It definitely teed off my postpartum depression. I had been in labor for days before my induction. And then my induction started at 7pm. I gave birth two days later at 6am. I truly just hadn't slept in days. I have few memories of the whole thing, just a lot of pain and exhaustion.

2nd and 3rd births I was armed with information. DH slept near the door and stopped any nurse that came near. I refused all colace and brought my own. DH would run out and tell nurses if I was up and nursing at 3am so that they could take my blood pressure or do whatever the eff they wanted during that time (maybe they need a button we can push to say we're awake?) so that they didn't wake me up 15 min after I went back to sleep. I checked out promptly at 24 hours and it was a struggle. At home I had a husband and 4 grandparents to care for me. My mom is a doctor. At home I felt like a princess and dh could properly care for me.

Speaking of which, my mom is an OB. As a kid I would stay at the hospital overnight sometimes (dad traveled and mom was on call. I slept in the on call room). There were nurseries filled with sweet sleeping babies. Dads and grandparents would sit there rocking babies for hours. Fast forward to when I gave birth and there were no rocking chairs. Only delivery rooms had them, not postpartum. Nope, in postpartum, you just had the screaming baby on mom 24/7. Baby was unable to leave the room, no rocking chairs. Dads couldn't even push the crib around the halls (moms could). I remember my inlaws trying to visit, but I was sick (vomiting) and they didn't want to be in the room with me. They wanted to see the baby but there wasn't anywhere else to go.

Ugh. This is the problem. You aren’t a “princess” (how old are you?) and you aren’t entitled to be treated like one. You had a baby, just like millions of other women have done throughout history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And put the baby in a nursery room for the night. The recovery should be treated like recovery from a surgery; no interrupting sleep.

Have you had surgery? Sleep is absolutely interrupted for medical check ins. I don't disagree with you that someone who just gave birth needs sleep to recover, but the hospital isn't restful for anyone.

Sleep is important for ALL hospital patients.

And yet the PP you responded to is 100% correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do these nurses for holding babies magic come from?

Appropriate hospital staffing. Doesn't have to be highly medically trained staff to fulfill this function either, just gentle responsible and common sense providers.

LOL. Good luck with that. Nursing is completely short staffed in 2023. They aren’t going to hire some phantom “gentle, responsible and common sense” non-nursing staff either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do these nurses for holding babies magic come from?

Appropriate hospital staffing. Doesn't have to be highly medically trained staff to fulfill this function either, just gentle responsible and common sense providers.

+1 CNAs could easily fill these roles.

JFC. CNAs are wildly underpaid and even MORE short staffed than nurses and are running off their feet all shift. They don’t have time to sit and hold multiple babies. You people are delusional. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one sleeps in the hospital. Everyone gets checks. Use the bassinet. Have someone stay with you.

No. The baby is a patient and should be cared for by hospital staff. Not by another patient that just had an intensive medical procedure.

No.

By that logic no one should take care of you either. Good luck!