Reply to Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?

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Reply to "Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted.  It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners.  Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.

I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth.  I recovered at home  and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby.  We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister).  We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US.  I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.

Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.

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Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days.  Sounds nice though.[/quote]

Agreed.  [b]Culturally, 40 days confinement is the norm for us [/b]and that means that everyone pitches in. The entire family prepared and helped for this event. It is believed that these 40 days are crucial for maternal and baby health (mental and physical).  Childbirth is considered a new birth for the mom and she and the baby are not left alone.  It is a significant event for the whole family.

In my home country, I could have stayed in a traditional birthing center  for at least a week or 10 days, if I wanted. Hospitals now keep you for 2-3 days because of fear of infections  and  C-sections might stay for 7-8 days.  But, we still have this culture of home confinement and now you can get [b]postpartum doulas[/b] if you do not have family members to help.

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I doubt many American women would want to be stuck at home for 40 days just because they had a child.  That seems excessive and also a huge burden on women in your family.  I notice how it’s glossed over the women were expected to provide unpaid labor for 40 days.  No thanks. [/quote]

Wow! This is  a really POS response.  Don't talk of all the other American woman would want. Speak only for yourself.

I loved being home with my mom, my sister, my NB and my DH.  So I was not bored and loved the company. I was recovering and I wanted to be cared for at home. Of course, since we are not like your family, it was not a burden on my family members.  No, there was no thought of paying them because that is an offensive, ugly and repulsive mentality.  This is not how we function.

Yes,  I only wanted female members of my family to help me.  They were giving me massages, helping me to nurse and helping me to bathe.  I would not want my father or brother to be doing that for me. I don't know what kind of weird family you have.

There is no reason to be dismissive because of cultural differences.  But, I pity your thought process and your family culture, because you neither have a family support system like I have nor you are capable of being a support to someone else. I pity you. [/quote]

NP. So the women in your culture don't usually work outside the home?[/quote]

Why do you think so?  :shock: 
Women in our culture, especially those who are in the US, are very well educated, regardless of if they are working outside the home or inside the house.  Most are college educated and most work in high paying STEM jobs. They also belong to high HHI families.

Usually, people can plan and properly budget/allocate funds, time, resources to take care of these kinds of situations for several reasons - a culture of pitching in for family events and close knit families, a mindset for valuing these traditional cultural milestones, and most importantly - financial means to pay for resources. Our community happens to be among the richest communities in the US.

There is a very strong tradition of higher education in our culture for both men and women. Girls are encouraged to be good in STEM and most get high paying jobs.  Our kids excel in academics, so much so that there is an achievement gap in the US between how far behind other kids are compared to the kids in our culture.  We are the community that has cracked the code of how to have our girls excel in STEM.  Most of our community is college educated (the percentage of women in our community who are college educated exceed the percentage of college educated White males in this country!).

So, in terms of knowledge, marketable skills,  job opportunities, family support and financial emancipation, women in my culture in the US are actually doing quite well. [/quote]

I suppose the women in my family have usually had jobs where you couldn't arrange for extended time off like this, even with advanced notice. It's hard to get coverage for a specialty surgeon, for example.

I'm glad your cultural customs work for you. You are obviously very proud of them.[/quote]

And guess what. Even my friends who were doctors took their forty days. You have a bunch of excuses to treat women poorly and tell them to suck it up. [/quote]

Ah. You misread. I was referring to the women who were taking time off to massage someone and offer support. Alas, that was not on the plate for them.

Again, I am happy that your ways work for you, and I support your decision to promote them. The US is a free country, after all. [/quote]

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