Reply to NOT redshirting an August birthday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.[/quote]

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill,  horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

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I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.[/quote]

Tell me more about your ideas.[/quote]

Start your own thread.[/quote]

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.[/quote]

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.[/quote]

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you  had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do,  and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here. [/quote]

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all. [/quote]

Maybe  but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there. [/quote]

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