So what exactly is the problem with C-Sections?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

There’s clearly a doula on here with a NCB agenda who doesn’t like real stories from real moms who hired real doulas and found them useless. My doula was the biggest waste of 1,000. Hiring some random woman to come watch me deliver and gawk when things got hairy. She knew nothing - the L and D nurses and my husband and medical team were more than sufficient and everyone else in the room knew a lot more and had far more actual education than she did. Newsflash - hiring a doula does not prevent a complex delivery or birth trauma or complications. The skill and knowledge of the doulas you are referring to are about the top .05 percent of doulas, maybe.

[Anonymous]

90% of middle class women in Brazil opt for C-sections. Most OBs there consider vaginal births a waste of time. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

There’s clearly a doula on here with a NCB agenda who doesn’t like real stories from real moms who hired real doulas and found them useless. My doula was the biggest waste of 1,000. Hiring some random woman to come watch me deliver and gawk when things got hairy. She knew nothing - the L and D nurses and my husband and medical team were more than sufficient and everyone else in the room knew a lot more and had far more actual education than she did. Newsflash - hiring a doula does not prevent a complex delivery or birth trauma or complications. The skill and knowledge of the doulas you are referring to are about the top .05 percent of doulas, maybe.

Sorry you had that experience. I had a very difficult medical complication (HELLP syndrome) that came on a day before my due date, my original doula got strep throat so I went with a back-up doula, and that person was the difference between me getting a c-section and having an empowering vaginal birth. I'm not threatened by your story of having a bad experience with a doula and I'm not saying everyone has great experiences, but I do find it bizarre that you continue to post the same crap again and again because you had a bad experience. You don't need to take responsibility for choosing someone who you didn't connect with or trust or vetting that person properly by asking for references or being someone who doesn't want to be touched or helped in a birth situation. If you hate people touching you and you hate strangers and you know all the medical lingo and don't need anyone to "translate" then why did you even get a doula?

You sound like someone who just wants to be angry and a victim, in which case no doula could have helped you. You can't even help yourself because you can't see through your own victimhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

There’s clearly a doula on here with a NCB agenda who doesn’t like real stories from real moms who hired real doulas and found them useless. My doula was the biggest waste of 1,000. Hiring some random woman to come watch me deliver and gawk when things got hairy. She knew nothing - the L and D nurses and my husband and medical team were more than sufficient and everyone else in the room knew a lot more and had far more actual education than she did. Newsflash - hiring a doula does not prevent a complex delivery or birth trauma or complications. The skill and knowledge of the doulas you are referring to are about the top .05 percent of doulas, maybe.

Sorry you had that experience. I had a very difficult medical complication (HELLP syndrome) that came on a day before my due date, my original doula got strep throat so I went with a back-up doula, and that person was the difference between me getting a c-section and having an empowering vaginal birth. I'm not threatened by your story of having a bad experience with a doula and I'm not saying everyone has great experiences, but I do find it bizarre that you continue to post the same crap again and again because you had a bad experience. You don't need to take responsibility for choosing someone who you didn't connect with or trust or vetting that person properly by asking for references or being someone who doesn't want to be touched or helped in a birth situation. If you hate people touching you and you hate strangers and you know all the medical lingo and don't need anyone to "translate" then why did you even get a doula?

You sound like someone who just wants to be angry and a victim, in which case no doula could have helped you. You can't even help yourself because you can't see through your own victimhood.

Also, nurses are not around a lot. Most birth processes are you contracting. The nurses really don't come in unless something really bad is happening and even then, they leave after the intervention. And unless your husband is an OBGYN, he was probably freaked out and had no idea what was happening. You sound close minded and like you couldn't benefit from help if it was right in front of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

There’s clearly a doula on here with a NCB agenda who doesn’t like real stories from real moms who hired real doulas and found them useless. My doula was the biggest waste of 1,000. Hiring some random woman to come watch me deliver and gawk when things got hairy. She knew nothing - the L and D nurses and my husband and medical team were more than sufficient and everyone else in the room knew a lot more and had far more actual education than she did. Newsflash - hiring a doula does not prevent a complex delivery or birth trauma or complications. The skill and knowledge of the doulas you are referring to are about the top .05 percent of doulas, maybe.

Sorry you had that experience. I had a very difficult medical complication (HELLP syndrome) that came on a day before my due date, my original doula got strep throat so I went with a back-up doula, and that person was the difference between me getting a c-section and having an empowering vaginal birth. I'm not threatened by your story of having a bad experience with a doula and I'm not saying everyone has great experiences, but I do find it bizarre that you continue to post the same crap again and again because you had a bad experience. You don't need to take responsibility for choosing someone who you didn't connect with or trust or vetting that person properly by asking for references or being someone who doesn't want to be touched or helped in a birth situation. If you hate people touching you and you hate strangers and you know all the medical lingo and don't need anyone to "translate" then why did you even get a doula?

You sound like someone who just wants to be angry and a victim, in which case no doula could have helped you. You can't even help yourself because you can't see through your own victimhood.

Actually, PP, there are quite a few posters who shared about bad experiences with doulas, not just me. I’m glad you had a great experience but why are you blaming me for the poor care provided by my doula? Like many women, I went with a doula group because I could not afford 2,500 or more on the service. I went to 3 open houses, met with the doula leader, had a prep meeting with her, and wrote out my birth plan and provided all paperwork for them ahead of time. What else should I have done, taken blood samples?

I don’t see myself as a victim. But I dislike women being told that we “need” a doula to have a particular kind of birth outcome, and to help ensure a positive experience, when the experience of giving birth is largely an event out of everyone’s control. And I also dislike how many doulas (I interviewed a lot) have a NCB agenda they push that doesn’t prioritize health and safety of mom and they think they know better than the doctors

[Anonymous]

I had a emergency c/s after labor and then 2 VBACs. The vaginal birth recovery was much, much easier than the c/s recovery. I was in serious pain (super painful to push myself into a sitting position) for several days after the c/s. After the VBACs, I could run around with my kid on the playground two days later.

Of course I'm glad to have had the c/s if it saved my 1st kid's life! We are so lucky to live in a place where we have safe birthing options.

[Anonymous]

The main problem is women shaming other women and believing that one way of bringing life into the world is superior to another.
I have always had a low pain threshold and a high fear of vaginal birth. I get clammy and start to panic at the thought of it. Always have.
I asked for a c section.
My baby was also measuring large.
Dr had no issue with it.
Had a wonderful experience at Sibley. Was able to coordinate travel plans for out of town family, etc.
My 9 pound baby arrived safely and I made it through the birth and post partum without complications.
Everybody won and I am grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I am stronger than you. I can exist in negative emotions enough to not write off another woman's bad birth experience because she didn't shell out money for a doula, which is out of reach for the vast majority of women. I had an even worse experience I haven't mentioned here and I am using it to fight for all women. I am going to fight to have all women get pelvic ultrasounds to check the healing of their C section. Meanwhile, you sh*t on women who can't afford $2000 for an experienced doula.

Enjoy your hobby of amateur psychiatry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

I am threatened by women letting doctors treat her like s**t. Follow the comment thread back. I was advocating for adequate informed consent. She says,"You don't need that, get a doula!!!!!!!" When I'd had one. All women who tolerate being treated like s**t contribute to the bad behavior of doctor and mistreatment by the medical establishment. We need to mutually stand up for each other. Women literally die because of issues like this. Look at all of the women who die of preeclampsia. All most all of them were being blown off. Almost all of them had high BPs. I bring this particular example up because this also happened to me.

Something that really pisses me off about DCUM is the "thing" here where you are somehow a bad person for being mad or sad when something bad is happening. It is not adaptive or admirable behavior. IT IS OK TO BE MAD SOMETIMES. The solution is for society to fix it's s--t. Not therapy.

[Anonymous]

There is a really interesting documentary on Netflix called "The Birth Reborn" about the crazy high c-section rate in Brazil. It is currently like 55%. It is an interesting watch and talks about the health risks associated with c-section births. I have zero against c-sections (I had two and am alive thanks to one of them) but if you don't need one, a vaginal delivery is definitely healthier for mom and baby.

[Anonymous]

These threads. Another way to try to make a new mom feel like crap about herself.

3 sections, one emergent after developing HELLP (which sent my baby into huge decells before doula lady gets on me for not being strong enough or doula-ed up enough to give birth to my four pound baby vaginally)

The next two were ENTIRELY elective and if I had it all to do over again they would all have been elective c sections. I recovered quickly and easily each time. My mom needed to have major reconstructive pelvic surgery after vaginally delivering four babies. I have avoided that!

If I had one wish for the women facing pregnancy/childbirth /young childhood rearing it would be to say that you can do your best, do what you want, and if you love your baby, take care of yourself and provide food and shelter and warmth and love that everything is going to be ok and all these incredibly stupid culture wars will be a distant memory. Never let any militant 'side' convince you to override your own best interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

NP.

WOW. Why are natural birth advocates on DCUM so routinely and casually cruel all of the time? The above is an exceptionally nasty and cruel thing to say.

Their behavior doesn’t really make doulas and natural birth look good, because apparently going that route turns you into a cruel person.

[Anonymous]

I had an emergency c-section because of a placenta abruption. I was glad I was at the hospital and happy for the procedure.

My recovery was easy. I was walking around the next day. I only took Tylenol.

I am not sure why anyone cares how someone else's baby came into this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had your vaginal experience I would agree. I had 3 easy vaginal births. Not having surgery > having surgery, all else held equal.

I had an easy vaginal birth and then had an emergency C-section. The recovery from the vaginal birth was much easier.