Let's clarify the truths what life is like to have sent 3 month old babies for others to raise!

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09/27/2012 22:03

Subject: Let's clarify the truths what life is like to have sent 3 month old babies for others to raise!

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Anonymous

Anyone who knows us will know that we have great, well adjusted kids, who enjoy family life, school, extra curricular activities. they are loving, not spoiled, caring, love to make things, and so incredibly fun to be with. they love healthy foods, but also enjoy candy. they love school, camping on the weekends in our guest room with mom and dad, are happy to get their homework done so they can play imaginary games, draw, paint or make shrinky dinks. their dad takes them to sports. their mom takes them to dance class. sometimes mom and dad switch pick ups to make meetings or deadlines. sometimes uncles, aunts, best friends, grandparents will step in to help - what a treat when that happens (several times a week!). and yes, we do rely on some afterschool care, but we try to minimize it. dinner is made by dad on most nights. sometimes mom has enough motivation to make a bunch of stews, chilis, etc. in advance. sometimes we are just too pooped and will order out. on many nights, mom and dad just want to go to sleep, but there are work deadlines to make, so we are up another hour or two. On the candy, mom loves candy and keeps it in the pantry at kid height! anyone can help themselves to it, but boy, the candy slowwwwly disappears. no crazy, unruly, uncared for kiddies here. when the kiddos are unhappy about something, it's a lucky thing for mom and dad that the kiddos can usually calmly explain what they need. there is no one freaking out here, but there is a lot of respect. there is not a lot of mom and dad alone time, but there is a lot of calm family together time. the kids love to see the cool things and big accomplishments that mom does at work. and when they get spend a few hours at dad's office, that is just the best thing ever. there is stuff all over the house, but it is not a dirty house. we hug a lot - such a wonderful thing. we own a lot of underwear and socks, so there is always a clean pair. but every now and then, we do pull a favorite shirt out of the hamper that daddy forgot to wash. every now and then, mom is about to go to bed and remembers that she forgot to buy the treats for the holiday party. thank goodness for 24 hour stores. it is not an easy life, but it is a good life and we would not trade it for anything.

we are also not the only ones living this life. our kids were lucky enough to be in daycare at 3 months old with some great kids and great teachers and caregivers. those other kids are like siblings and we are lucky enough to have kept some of those friendships over the years despite our crazy work and kid schedules. many of these lovely daycare families are in a similar situation, and their kids have been blessed to see mom and dad balanced. see a dad that picks up mom's slack and a mom that picks up moms slack.

the kiddos see school friends with parents divorcing. they are worried. dad reassures them that they will not have to see that in our family. i love that they can hear this from their dad.

the latest conversation between us and the other working mom and dads is how to make more time. time for kids. time for mom and dad. some dads are taking advantage of their seniority to spend time with the kids. some moms are making plans to go part time in two to three years now that they are more secure in their careers. we realize as teenagers they need more time to talk. we will make that happen, but the effort will be made together between all of us including our extended family.

again, it is not an easy life, but it is a good life. sending our babies to daycare sort of helped get us to this very hectic but balanced family life. it is not the life for everyone, but i do recommend it. i can imagine there are other ways to live a good life. i sure would like to hear about other ways to live family life. i am always looking for good ideas.