I Need Understanding and Super Home Cleaning and Organizing Assistance

[Anonymous]

I am a mother of a severely ADHD child, who also has chronic, potentially life threatening medical needs. I think I also have ADD and my husband is a semi-horder. None of this helps my child or our family.

I have come to accept that I can't clean my home (without it taking all day) or keep up with home filing (papers and stuff) despite my best intentions. I am not wealthy, but I recognize that not having someone come in to help me is costing me, dearly. Do any of you have a spectatular organizer/cleaner you love and could recommend? I need someone special, who does not judge who can help me get/keep this place under better control. They must be trust worthy. P.S. I guess the housekeeper could be different than the paper organizer, although all in one would be ideal. Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am right there with you, only I have 2 other kids as well. My life is a train wreck. I have paid organizers before and also spent all day, but it doesn't stay that way. Also appreciate any advice.

[Anonymous]

I was just lamenting the fact my house is a disaster. Have been staying up late trying to organize. I secretly love neatness and it makes me feel calm, but am disorganized by nature. The more chaotic my life, the more disastorous my home looks. When I see my son's room which always looks like a tornado hit and the trail of junk he leaves everywhere I know he got it from me.

OP, I will be checking on this thread to see if you get any names for when I get desperate.

This will sound crazy, but would you consider applying for one of those home organization shows? We don't have cable, but I recall they existed back when we did.

[Anonymous]

OP again.....I seriously don't think a home organizing show would be interested in my house.....Fortunately, are aren't buried alive.

But, my desk has a big heap of papers. Trying to get papers together to get taxes done is an exhausting process, b/c my DH just shoves them into drawers, and boxes and tubs, as if out of sight means orderly. Our closets are bulging, and my house needs cleaning (floors, windows, bathrooms....) The stuff is weighing and slowing us down. Life is too short to live this way. I'd like to invite friend's over without hours or days of sweaty notice. We have too much stuff, and I need someone to tell me to get let it go. I have a friend who gets rid of one thing everytime another comes in the house. For us, it's more like 30 or so things come in and 1 goes out.

I can't get up at night to clean, b/c we are already up at night checking on our child. We are exhausted, and I am unhappy about the state of my home.

[Anonymous]

Best of luck finding the right kind of help.

I have two small tips: determine which papers you absolutely cannot afford to lose, and put permanent files, clearly labeled, on the wall. Just for those things. It can even be a manila envelope thumbtacked to the wall. Bring in the mail, stick those pieces in the file as they come in. Only thing that works for me.

Declutter for 15 minutes a day. Set an egg timer. Stop when it goes off. The important thing is to grab items that need to go, package and get them OUT - into the trunk of the car, or into the garage. If there are items you might sell or consign, there can only be one, contained space for those, and they must be dealt with before that space is full. I use a freestanding garment rack with a shelf on the bottom. It has to be cleared once a month.

[Anonymous]

I agreen with previous poster, except for the selling/consignment. if you are like me, and you soud like me, you will never find the time to sell/ consign, and the things will find their way back in the mess. just take them to the nearest charity box (if clothing or shoes), or to the goodwill. you will get the tax document at least. unless you have expensince stuff to sell, it is simply not worth your time trying to get a few tens or hundreds dollars (and at least in my case it would be tens). whenever I tried to set things aside for selling, eventually the bag was opened by somebody and things got back in the mess. and the real trick is to stop buying stuff you do not really absolutely need (that's how you save money, not by wasting your time by selling them at a fraction of the price). another suggestion is try to limit the paper coming in. sign up for online bills as much as possible. I have a box I put the mail inside, trying to throw away immediately the junk, and try to loook at it during the week end. it dies ot work perfectly, I still have unopened mail around the house, but I acceopt I am not perfect, adn it is better thah before when I did not have the box and the daily mail would end up all over. good look, you are not alone

[Anonymous]

I know this isn't exactly what you ask, but Flylady.net has a lot of great advice about how to make these kind of changes and make them habits that last. I wish I had a name, but honestly I've not had good luck with housecleaners - often they get the house clean, but the disorganization problem gets worse, because everyone we've had tends to just pile the mess up in order to clean.

[Anonymous]

please call me I would love to help you 202 2978811

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain! We've used Space Matters http://professionalorganizerdc.com/ to help us do some organizing. We found them through Angie's List (we had a coupon from AL as well) and had them out a couple other times (without coupon). They're not cheap so I'd look for a coupon or negotiate a discount. They are absolutely non-judgmental and very helpful.

Space Matters will help you with your immediate problem but I suggest you work with an ADHD coach to better understand what you're doing and to keep you on track until you develop new (better) habits. I used to recommend Kim Smith Kidd http://www.kimandlaurie.com/ who we've used with excellent results. But, in a recent thread, a poster wasn't able to get her calls returned. So, I recommend her now with a caveat. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks for the feedback.

I have tubs of beautiful clothing to consign (some unworn, mostly barely worn, name brand--Hanna Andersson, Gap, Macy's, Gymboree, Patagonia) but have not found an honest children's consignment shop around here. I find that things go missing or unaccounted for. I've even been told that something sold, and seen the exact item show up for sale the next season (it was a unique item so I know it was mine). Then, this store had you go back on the racks to find what you consigned and the descriptions were so lame that you didn't know what the item was (no color, brand listed). My DH told me just to give it away........I can't seem to do that, b/c the stuff is like new!

Nice idea re: fly lady, but I don't know anyone who has ADD who would be able to focus on what she sends. Tried it once, and it ended up being just one more email junking up my inbox.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:please call me I would love to help you 202 2978811

OP---Can you say more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel your pain! We've used Space Matters http://professionalorganizerdc.com/ to help us do some organizing. We found them through Angie's List (we had a coupon from AL as well) and had them out a couple other times (without coupon). They're not cheap so I'd look for a coupon or negotiate a discount. They are absolutely non-judgmental and very helpful.

Space Matters will help you with your immediate problem but I suggest you work with an ADHD coach to better understand what you're doing and to keep you on track until you develop new (better) habits. I used to recommend Kim Smith Kidd http://www.kimandlaurie.com/ who we've used with excellent results. But, in a recent thread, a poster wasn't able to get her calls returned. So, I recommend her now with a caveat. Good luck!

Thanks. What do you mean by "not cheap, please." An ADHD coach would help with the clutter. I had someone come in once, and they set up a system that would work for them.....not for me.

[Anonymous]

NP here - OP I'm so sorry for what you are going through and wish I could offer advice. I have 2 kids with SN - one with ADHD, one with autism - and they both crave the organization that I feel I cannot possibly give them. We try, but like a PP said, I'm not a naturally organized person. My husband is more organized but oddly enough also has ADD. He can set up systems to organize things better than I can, but then he fails to form habits to actually use them. I've tried really hard over the past several weeks to tackle things room by room, and we are getting there. I've had to get relentless about getting rid of things - paper, toys that do not get used, clothes, books (I now buy only eBooks for myself which helps that somewhat). Anyway, I have to agree with what another PP said about professional cleaners: they can sometimes make the organization problem worse. If toys, papers, clothes are left out, the cleaners shove them into any place they can so that they can clean surfaces. Over time, you lose track of everything. We still fight that battle. My recommendation to you is to get someone to help you tackle the organization projects first. THEN hire someone to do a thorough cleaning and come every week (if you can afford it) or every other week (which a lot of people do...we are just too messy).

Your post has inspired me to keep trying! Don't give up hope. You and your family sound like you are going through a lot, so definitely don't strive for perfection.

Also OP, what area are you in? If you are in NoVA, I might have a person to recommend for cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - OP I'm so sorry for what you are going through and wish I could offer advice. I have 2 kids with SN - one with ADHD, one with autism - and they both crave the organization that I feel I cannot possibly give them. We try, but like a PP said, I'm not a naturally organized person. My husband is more organized but oddly enough also has ADD. He can set up systems to organize things better than I can, but then he fails to form habits to actually use them. I've tried really hard over the past several weeks to tackle things room by room, and we are getting there. I've had to get relentless about getting rid of things - paper, toys that do not get used, clothes, books (I now buy only eBooks for myself which helps that somewhat). Anyway, I have to agree with what another PP said about professional cleaners: they can sometimes make the organization problem worse. If toys, papers, clothes are left out, the cleaners shove them into any place they can so that they can clean surfaces. Over time, you lose track of everything. We still fight that battle. My recommendation to you is to get someone to help you tackle the organization projects first. THEN hire someone to do a thorough cleaning and come every week (if you can afford it) or every other week (which a lot of people do...we are just too messy).

Your post has inspired me to keep trying! Don't give up hope. You and your family sound like you are going through a lot, so definitely don't strive for perfection.

Also OP, what area are you in? If you are in NoVA, I might have a person to recommend for cleaning.

OP again. Thank you. Glad to know I'm not alone. Yes, I'm working on it (today) along with insurance reimbusement hassles with the insurance co, but it actually feels like managing detaiils it could be constant project.....meaning I could spend all of my time managing and do nothing else. I sorted through summer things today (for DC) and put them in categories--next summer, too small--give away, and consign (too nice to give away). I took the giveaway bag down and put it in my car so I could drop it off on the way to work tomorrow. There are still things out, everywhere from other undone things. I live in the Rockville area of Montgomery County, MD. Not too far from certain parts of NoVa.

[Anonymous]

I disagree that if you have a system and follow-through, reselling what's worth something is too hard. I work with a consignment shop near a monthly errand and collect consignment items in a specific place. When leaving to do that errand, I put those items in the car and drop them off. They write me a check for last month's items and deposit it on the way home.

The system just has to be idiot-proof. I accept that I have a problem and that things HAVE to be insanely simple for me to function. One place. Nothing is removed or moved around. Once it's there, it's gone.

OP, if you need to get it out of the house, you can't be too picky. Either eBay it (best prices for name brands) within a month, choose a consignment store and deal with any problems or donate. Holding on to every last little bit of value is part of the illness. Let go. Other parents struggling to get by will be thrilled to find them.

And the empty space is worth SO much more than the outgrown clothes. Just move them out.