9 YO Dd says "beauty hurts"

[Anonymous]

Watching a clothing commerical with my DD the other day, a model strutted down the street in amazingly high, platform shoes. I said to my daughter, "it doesn't look like those shoes would be very easy, or comfortable, to walk in. She replied, "beauty hurts".

I felt my heart sink. How could my girl have learned that already? That she has to endure pain to be "pretty"? That makes me so sad. Even as I strap on my own high heels (Ok they are not platforms) and march off to work, eyebrows waxed, spanx tight.

Suffice to say the TV's been unplugged since.

Just a vent, I guess.

[Anonymous]

OP, as someone who grew up with a very judgmental mother, her response is more likely calculated to hit you than to opine about fashion. Why would you even make a random comment like that? Maybe she likes fashion and feels judged by you? Maybe she wants to have friends and feels that you'll be making judgments about them? Maybe she feels like it's a ridiculous comment since you wear heels and spanx, so you're obviously buying in to it.

All this not to critique, but to say that from this very limited post, you have a sharp daughter. Isn't it more constructive to have a real conversation, than to make biting remarks and then unplug the TV. How would you have felt if you were in your daughter's shoes?

[Anonymous]

You can look good without shattering your ankles.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't unplug the tv, but use this as an opportunity to have a conversation with her.

[Anonymous]

What in the world makes you think she learned this from TV, as opposed to from you or from friends at school?

[Anonymous]

I tell my six year old this any time she whines about getting her hair combed. I don't see the issue.

It's not about being pretty, but taking pride in one's appearance.

[Anonymous]

Glamor is a rocky road.

[Anonymous]

She's heard it somewhere - anywhere - it doesn't really matter. She may have been testing you out or making a joke. I would have responded with ..

"Do you think so?"

And then given my opinion of:

"I think people who look in pain or uncomfortable don't look particularly beautiful."

[Anonymous]

Or as they say in France, il faut souffrir pour être belle.

You must suffer to be beautiful.

[Anonymous]

My 4yo knows this. Every day she chooses impractical but (in her view) beautiful footwear over sensible shoes. And she doesn't get it from me. This is the message the world -- TV, movies, her friends, people she sees -- sends her. What can you do, keep your kid in a bubble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watching a clothing commerical with my DD the other day, a model strutted down the street in amazingly high, platform shoes. I said to my daughter, "it doesn't look like those shoes would be very easy, or comfortable, to walk in. She replied, "beauty hurts".

I felt my heart sink. How could my girl have learned that already? That she has to endure pain to be "pretty"? That makes me so sad. Even as I strap on my own high heels (Ok they are not platforms) and march off to work, eyebrows waxed, spanx tight.

Suffice to say the TV's been unplugged since.

Just a vent, I guess.

Got to keep them out of the supermarket checkout aisle too. That place is worse, holy hell.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are a rare natural beauty, beauty does hurt...waxing, tweezing, heels, and everything else. The good thing is that beauty isn't mandatory!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my six year old this any time she whines about getting her hair combed. I don't see the issue.

It's not about being pretty, but taking pride in one's appearance.

Really? You tell your 6 yo that beauty hurts? SMH...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's heard it somewhere - anywhere - it doesn't really matter. She may have been testing you out or making a joke. I would have responded with ..

"Do you think so?"

And then given my opinion of:

"I think people who look in pain or uncomfortable don't look particularly beautiful."

I kind of love this approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are a rare natural beauty, beauty does hurt...waxing, tweezing, heels, and everything else. The good thing is that beauty isn't mandatory!

That's assuming you buy into a very limited definition of beauty. I prefer to teach my daughter that there's more to being beautiful than that.