9 YO Dd says "beauty hurts"

[Anonymous]

Beauty does hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beauty does hurt.

So is it any wonder there are so many teenage girls out there wanting plastic surgery or with eating disorders?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are a rare natural beauty, beauty does hurt...waxing, tweezing, heels, and everything else. The good thing is that beauty isn't mandatory!

That's assuming you buy into a very limited definition of beauty. I prefer to teach my daughter that there's more to being beautiful than that.

I am not into the whole social esteem, everyone is beautiful, as long as you have a beautiful spirit emanating unicorns and rainbows then looks don't matter movement. My kids live in reality - they can deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beauty does hurt.

So is it any wonder there are so many teenage girls out there wanting plastic surgery or with eating disorders?

That is more based on the importance or priority people place on beauty - rather than if it hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are a rare natural beauty, beauty does hurt...waxing, tweezing, heels, and everything else. The good thing is that beauty isn't mandatory!

That's assuming you buy into a very limited definition of beauty. I prefer to teach my daughter that there's more to being beautiful than that.

I am not into the whole social esteem, everyone is beautiful, as long as you have a beautiful spirit emanating unicorns and rainbows then looks don't matter movement. My kids live in reality - they can deal with it.

Um, okay. I don't think believing in a broader definition of beauty equates to self-delusion, but whatever...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my six year old this any time she whines about getting her hair combed. I don't see the issue.

It's not about being pretty, but taking pride in one's appearance.

Really? You tell your 6 yo that beauty hurts? SMH...

Yes, it's true and something that she will have to make choices about. Combing her hair is necessary and it can hurt (especially if you are six don't keep your hair pulled back). Like a PP, my daughter will sometimes choose impractical shoes. At the end of the day her feet hurt. Next time she knows that she can either be comfortable at school in her sneakers or she can where the uncomfortable shoes again. Her choice.

She is the one that deems long hair to be beautiful. She is welcome to get her hair cut and avoid the tangles.

She is old enough to know the difference between inner beauty and being made-up physically.

And don't keep smacking your head, because that can hurt and its detrimental to your brain cells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my six year old this any time she whines about getting her hair combed. I don't see the issue.

It's not about being pretty, but taking pride in one's appearance.

Really? You tell your 6 yo that beauty hurts? SMH...

Yes, it's true and something that she will have to make choices about. Combing her hair is necessary and it can hurt (especially if you are six don't keep your hair pulled back). Like a PP, my daughter will sometimes choose impractical shoes. At the end of the day her feet hurt. Next time she knows that she can either be comfortable at school in her sneakers or she can where the uncomfortable shoes again. Her choice.

She is the one that deems long hair to be beautiful. She is welcome to get her hair cut and avoid the tangles.

She is old enough to know the difference between inner beauty and being made-up physically.

And don't keep smacking your head, because that can hurt and its detrimental to your brain cells.

Lol, I'm shaking my head (hopefully not smacking it) but thanks for the tip!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watching a clothing commerical with my DD the other day, a model strutted down the street in amazingly high, platform shoes. I said to my daughter, "it doesn't look like those shoes would be very easy, or comfortable, to walk in. She replied, "beauty hurts".

I felt my heart sink. How could my girl have learned that already? That she has to endure pain to be "pretty"? That makes me so sad. Even as I strap on my own high heels (Ok they are not platforms) and march off to work, eyebrows waxed, spanx tight.

Suffice to say the TV's been unplugged since.

Just a vent, I guess.

I think you massively overreacted. This is a nice opportunity to have a discussion about this issue, but when you get upset and then keep her away from TV you are sending her the message that she shouldn't communicate anything that is possibly inflammatory to you. Which will lead to her not communicating anything at all. She's going to say all sorts of things in the future and if you see them as major big deals I can guarantee you will not have an open, communicative relationship with your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as someone who grew up with a very judgmental mother, her response is more likely calculated to hit you than to opine about fashion. Why would you even make a random comment like that? Maybe she likes fashion and feels judged by you? Maybe she wants to have friends and feels that you'll be making judgments about them? Maybe she feels like it's a ridiculous comment since you wear heels and spanx, so you're obviously buying in to it.

All this not to critique, but to say that from this very limited post, you have a sharp daughter. Isn't it more constructive to have a real conversation, than to make biting remarks and then unplug the TV. How would you have felt if you were in your daughter's shoes?

or maybe she was saying whatever popped into her head. Sure have a conversation about it, but keep in mind that kids say shit.

[Anonymous]

Do you have glamour magazines in your house, OP?

[Anonymous]

I remember when dd was 4, she saw a commercial for hair color. Of course the woman was beautiful with unrealistically perfect hair with lots of shine and bounce. My dd looked sad, and said that she wished her hair looked like the lady on tv. I told her her that it was not her real hair. That the camera taking her picture made her hair look like that. I told her that the lady's real hair looks just like dd's. Dd just smiled and went back to playing. That was the end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have glamour magazines in your house, OP?

No. No women's magazines at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember when dd was 4, she saw a commercial for hair color. Of course the woman was beautiful with unrealistically perfect hair with lots of shine and bounce. My dd looked sad, and said that she wished her hair looked like the lady on tv. I told her her that it was not her real hair. That the camera taking her picture made her hair look like that. I told her that the lady's real hair looks just like dd's. Dd just smiled and went back to playing. That was the end of it.

Love this!

[Anonymous]

Eh, I think your kid is really smart. The traditional, fashion magazine ideal of beauty does hurt. Just remind her that this isn't the only way to look beautiful, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Things are so fraught sometimes between mother and daughter. Unsolicited advice from the mom of a 19-year-old daughter, try to screen anything judgmental or seemingly judgmental out of anything you say. it will stand you in good stead in the teenage years.