If you lie about your hometown, why?

[Anonymous]

I was adopted from China. Haven't spent more than a week in China since I was an infant. I've had way too many conversations with racists that go like this: "So where are you from?" Me: "Chicago." Them: "No, where are you REALLY from?" "Well, I'm from a neighborhood on the far northside called Ravenswood." "No, I mean where is your family from?" "My dad is from Chicago. My mom's from Cleveland. Most of my family lives in the Chicago area or Ohio." *deep sigh* *frustration* The implication that I'm not REALLY American and the continual probing. OP reminds me of those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP could you tell me where I’m from? I’m American.

Ages 1-4: Buenos Aires
5-7: Nairobi
8-11: Tunis
12-13: Kuala Lumpur
14-16: Lima
17-18: Mexico City
18-22: New Haven
22-25: NYC
25-28: Palo Alto
28-30: San Francisco
31: London
32-35: NYC again
36-present: DC

Not OP. Certainly there's not just one place in your situation. So you say that you've lived all over the world from day one. And that's really cool. In my experience, people lie when they don't want to admit to or to talk about where they are from. Or maybe they just want to move on to another topic. Not because they can't figure out how to answer the question. Although maybe I'm wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

It's a litmus test like everything else people ask around here. They need to know if you are "one of them."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally find it rude for someone to ask me where I'm from, which implies that I am somehow other than someone who belongs. Yes, I get that this sounds sensitive, but the only people who have asked me where I am from are tourists who assume I'm on vacation, too, or someone who is native to DC and wants to make sure everyone knows that they are a true native.

Born in Atlanta, lived 30 years in DC. DC is my hometown.

DC is not your hometown unless you were raised there. Very simple. And you will be called out on it because people can tell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone asks “where are you from?” I would assume they mean “where do you live?” rather than “where did you grow up?”

+1

No way. It takes two seconds to say, "I'm from Ohio but have been in DC 20 years."

It's not that straightforward for many of us.

I was born in Indiana, raised in Maryland from age 8 up, moved to Michigan for college, lived on the West Coast for 22 years before moving overseas for work, and now I live in Virginia. But I lived in California the longest and most of my family is there now and I consider it home. That's a lot of info when we just met, and if I just tell you I'm from California because I don't feel like repeating my life story, that's my perogative.

Well, you're not FROM the west coast, however much you love it, and however much "the west coast" may have a cache to it. You're from Indiana and Maryland, and that's easy enough to say. You live in California now and have lived there for a while, but that's not where you're FROM, unless you're traveling around the country and someone wants to ask where you live now.

No, I lived in California the longest. For several decades. I don't live there now. I don't even remember Indiana.

Correct, but you didn't grow up there, so you're not FROM there. You live there now, so I'm glad you love it so much.

Okay... so then you're not from California in any sense of the term. What's the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, some people are pretentious, and want to pretend they are better than they really are - hence the lying.

If you think where you're from makes you better than other people, then you're not someone I want to be around. I care about who people are, not who their parents were.

So then by this logic I presume you have no issues accurately stating your hometown?

+1

What else are you hiding?

+1

A lot of these people are hiding A LOT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, some people are pretentious, and want to pretend they are better than they really are - hence the lying.

If you think where you're from makes you better than other people, then you're not someone I want to be around. I care about who people are, not who their parents were.

So then by this logic I presume you have no issues accurately stating your hometown?

+1

What else are you hiding?

+1

A lot of these people are hiding A LOT

Like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

why?

Because they're interested in other people? Is that such a foreign concept to the myopic, socially stunted DCUM set?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than the time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

The answer to that is........I've lived in about 20 countries before the age of 20. Some, including the country of my birth (but not my nationality), for only a few months. Then, it gets into questions about why I lived in so many places, which I will definitely lie about. Nobody needs to know that I grew up in a cult. Why is it so important to know where someone is FROM? So you can generalize about them? I usually just name my mom's "home state" (she's actually only spent a few years there--mostly as an adult) simply to keep it simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

why?

Because they're interested in other people? Is that such a foreign concept to the myopic, socially stunted DCUM set?

x1000000

:mic drop:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

If you want to know where someone grew up, just ask that. Depending on who you are, and where we are at the time that you are asking, I will tell you a) where I grew up, or b) where I live (and have lived for the last 20 years). When random people that I meet while on vacation in a far flung place ask me where I am from, I am going to answer where I live now. The person I meet at a friend's house in the DC suburbs, they'll get my hometown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

If you want to know where someone grew up, just ask that. Depending on who you are, and where we are at the time that you are asking, I will tell you a) where I grew up, or b) where I live (and have lived for the last 20 years). When random people that I meet while on vacation in a far flung place ask me where I am from, I am going to answer where I live now. The person I meet at a friend's house in the DC suburbs, they'll get my hometown.

That’s my policy, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us have a really hard time with this question. Do I answer my birthday country (I was only there for a few months)? Do I say the state my dad is from (l lived there for less than a year at the age of 4 and have visited several times since)? Do I say the state that my mom’s family is from (I spent about 1.5 years cumulatively)...but she didn’t actually live there until she was a teenager (Air Force brat). I’ve been in the DMV for over 20 years, which is much longer than time I’ve spent anywhere else. This question is complicated for some of us. Why not just ask, “Where do you call home?”

Because people want to know where you grew up, hence "where are you FROM". If they wanted to know the place you CHOSE to LIVE they would ask.

why?

Because they're interested in other people? Is that such a foreign concept to the myopic, socially stunted DCUM set?

so then you should explicitly SAY THAT. "Where did you grow up?" "Tell me about your hometown."

Speaking of social skills, clear communication is key.