Fed up with parents who send sick kids to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know, all these people who don't have access to childcare or sick leave. Such jerks.

Get over yourself, OP, and be glad that's your biggest worry in life. I mean it. There are people who have a hell of a lot more to deal with.

Give me a break. Are people just not accountable for ANYTHING anymore. Your kids are sick, you keep them home. I am a pregnant teacher and will not tolerate any sick child in my class. They can sit in the nurses office all day if the parents don’t care to come get them. Most of them eventually do.

Don’t have kids if you can’t take care of them.

As a teacher, I believe this is the root of our frustration. I'm sure what I'm about to say won't be very popular, but it's something that's been eating at me slowly throughout the years because there is such a snowball effect as to what schools and teachers are expected to be accountable for. There's been a gradual release of accountability from parents and families, and that has landed on schools/teachers.

Parents forgot to pack a snack? I'm expected to provide one that I have to buy out of my own pocket. Parents don't provide school supplies? I am expected to provide them and the $200 budget I get for all supplies for the entire year doesn't stretch that far when many students arrive without any school supplies. The school wants to foster relationships with parents? Teachers are expected to donate food/activities/personal time for the event since the events with the best attendance provide free food. Parents can't afford holiday gifts for their children? There's an angel tree in the staff lounge that we're expected to fulfill. Parents can't pick their kids up from after free school clubs, which we sponsor completely uncompensated, at the designated pick up time? We're expected to sit and wait with the kids until the parents show up. There are schools where there are washers and dryers, and staff rotate taking turns doing laundry for students so that they have clean clothes--my school hasn't gotten to this point yet but the precedent has been set by other schools so it's only a matter of time before it reaches more schools.

So when parents send their clearly sick kids to school, it feels like one more way that they have released accountability for their kids onto us. It's not any of the one things in a vacuum, but the snowball effect of all of them. But when your kid pukes on the carpet in my classroom when they puked at home last night but sent them into school anyway, and then the virus slowly goes through the classroom culminating in my need to take some of my 8 total days of sick leave for the year, it feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I work in a focus school, and I stay because I truly care about the kids. The kids aren't responsible for their parents' choices. But it's morale depleting and frustrating when the parents seem to have time and money for the "wants" but not the "needs" because they know it will be supplied for them. There's money for their 8 year old to have their own iphone, but not $20 for a holiday gift since they know one will be provided if they ask the school. They know that there are no consequences to them for releasing accountability of their kids onto the school. That knowledge allows them to have more kids than they can provide for, as well. The actual teaching part of my job is almost secondary by now. I am mom, nurse, therapist, janitor and social worker all wrapped up in a teacher's job title.

Cue the "you shouldn't be a teacher" and "I'm glad you're not my child's teacher" comments. No worries, I don't work in a DCUM approved school. But for me, at least, this is a big reason why I get so frustrated when parents send their sick kids to school. Of course, there's also the factor of knowing the kid feels miserable and would much rather be comfortable at home than at school but their parent sent them anyway. I understand what an inconvenience it is to need to be at work but your kid needs to stay home, especially with the sub shortage going on. But I am the parent, not the school, so I do what's best for my kid and what's best for his classmates and teacher which is to keep him home when he's sick.

You sound like our teacher. We send in snacks but they never get acknowledged and don't even know if you nether, so we stop. We send in extra supplies and they don't ever seem to get used. We send in cleaning supplies and the few times we go in the classroom, they are clearly not being used as the desks, chairs and tables are filthy. We offer to come in and help and do the cleaning and get turned down. We'd like to keep our kids healthy too. We are not mind readers. If our 8 years old runs out of supplies, send a note home or email and let us know and you will get it either next day or as soon as we can get it. You need holiday donations or clothing, just send an email and let us know.

I am so tired of teachers who do not communicate needs and then bitterly complain.

The big issue with keeping kids home is they end up impacting their grades. Mine has been home 8 days in 3 weeks and we were promised to have the work sent home. I asked several times and it never get sent home. My child's grades were severely impacted this marking period and that is not fair. Next time mine is going to school.

Yes all the PPs who insist that they keep their kids home when they have a fever of 99 degrees for two weeks, are the same ones who will complain nonstop if their kids’ grades are impacted.

Mine has had two colds and one fever. It ranged from 101-105. We had several doctors visit and an ER visit as we couldn't get it down. I have had something for a month and barely left the house. What is going around is really bad and people do need to stay home but its a huge issue if teachers will not work with parents and send the work home. How hard is it to leave a packet at the front desk or scan it and email it home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure it’s not a surprise for schools to have sick kids absent. Surely, they can provide missed materials to catch up.

My DC’s private school handles this very well. They want the child to rest and not to do work while sick. As soon as child comes back to school the teachers and academic advisor work with the child to help catch up. This is a common sense, sane approach imho.

That's nice your school does that. Ours does not. Teacher promised to send the work home multiple times and didn't. Instead child got C's instead of A's with a rare B. They didn't allow any opportunity at school. You don't do the work on that day, you get a failing grade.

[Anonymous]

I think the parents asking for a work packet don’t understand what classrooms like these days. For math- the kids will work on a complex problem for 10-15 minutes. Often things like analyzing a wrong answer & then developing a teaching plan for how to correct the errors. Then, 20 minutes of concept development and a debrief. Sending home a worksheet wouldn’t cover it. Writing- last week we talked about how writers use comparisons to explain things to readers. We used a mentor text for examples then kids did writers-workshop where they used the skill. Readers workshop- was about non fiction text features. Kids then choose a nonfiction book & redesigned an index to include subtopics. Social studies was weighing the recycling bins & trash cans (we are pushing for the school to bring composting back) and need a baseline for how much food waste goes into the trash that could be composted. Then we went to maker space to learn about composting & how we can engage the school in the project.
Why am I telling you this? Because very little of the work is worksheets or dittos anymore. There just isn’t anything to send home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents asking for a work packet don’t understand what classrooms like these days. For math- the kids will work on a complex problem for 10-15 minutes. Often things like analyzing a wrong answer & then developing a teaching plan for how to correct the errors. Then, 20 minutes of concept development and a debrief. Sending home a worksheet wouldn’t cover it. Writing- last week we talked about how writers use comparisons to explain things to readers. We used a mentor text for examples then kids did writers-workshop where they used the skill. Readers workshop- was about non fiction text features. Kids then choose a nonfiction book & redesigned an index to include subtopics. Social studies was weighing the recycling bins & trash cans (we are pushing for the school to bring composting back) and need a baseline for how much food waste goes into the trash that could be composted. Then we went to maker space to learn about composting & how we can engage the school in the project.
Why am I telling you this? Because very little of the work is worksheets or dittos anymore. There just isn’t anything to send home.

Hence why I send my kids to school when they have colds or indigestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who works at a school learns quickly who the shitty parents are. After about the third time, no one believes you when you say your kid was fine this morning or that you didn’t give them any meds before you put them on the bus. And yes, the lice parents are the worst.

+1. We know and we despise you. We can tell when you’ve dosed your poor kid with Motrin at 7am to hide that fever. It inevitably spikes at about lunchtime. We try to call. Leave a voicemail. You finally call back 30 minutes before school ends apologizing. You were in a meeting and, of course had no idea your child was sick. We know who you are. And we think you are a shitty parent.

How often does this happen? You’re dramatic so I’m assuming never. And I SAH and my kid missed days of this semester because I keep her home when sick!

Former long time elementary teacher here. Agree the PP is being dramatic. Are there a few parents who do this? Of course. But the vast majority of parents are trying to do what’s best for their kids.

[Anonymous]

My other favorite is the kid who throws up. You then ask them when they started feeling sick & they tell you they threw up before coming to school. Poor kid.
We send them home & cycle repeats. We let your kids sleep, either in the classroom or @ nurses office.
It’s not their fault that parents won’t step up.

[Anonymous]

I keep my kids home if they have a fever, if it seems like they are lethargic, GI stuff, etc. But any illness? Any cold?
You want parents to be more accountable? How about change expectations with employers?
I work for a major health care system in the area and I get two (yes two-doesn’t matter if I have a doctor’s note,etc) call outs per year. I’m lucky DH has some flexibility to work from home. Some parents don’t even have that. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

I really worry about this with my oldest. He’s 5 and in preschool but he’s sick a lot. I can and do keep him home because I SAH with younger kids, so I’m not missing work time or taking a bit to my non-existent career. I don’t want to send him to school with a fever or if he’s really sick. But it doesn’t sound like the schools or teachers are very accommodating in public school, especially later elementary and up. And I don’t want his grades to suffer for something that’s not his fault. What’s the solution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents asking for a work packet don’t understand what classrooms like these days. For math- the kids will work on a complex problem for 10-15 minutes. Often things like analyzing a wrong answer & then developing a teaching plan for how to correct the errors. Then, 20 minutes of concept development and a debrief. Sending home a worksheet wouldn’t cover it. Writing- last week we talked about how writers use comparisons to explain things to readers. We used a mentor text for examples then kids did writers-workshop where they used the skill. Readers workshop- was about non fiction text features. Kids then choose a nonfiction book & redesigned an index to include subtopics. Social studies was weighing the recycling bins & trash cans (we are pushing for the school to bring composting back) and need a baseline for how much food waste goes into the trash that could be composted. Then we went to maker space to learn about composting & how we can engage the school in the project.
Why am I telling you this? Because very little of the work is worksheets or dittos anymore. There just isn’t anything to send home.

Hence why I send my kids to school when they have colds or indigestion.

+1

People are so over dramatic. If a child pukes, it’s typically not a stomach bug. Once they get it out of their system, they can go to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know, all these people who don't have access to childcare or sick leave. Such jerks.

Get over yourself, OP, and be glad that's your biggest worry in life. I mean it. There are people who have a hell of a lot more to deal with.

Give me a break. Are people just not accountable for ANYTHING anymore. Your kids are sick, you keep them home. I am a pregnant teacher and will not tolerate any sick child in my class. They can sit in the nurses office all day if the parents don’t care to come get them. Most of them eventually do.

Don’t have kids if you can’t take care of them.

As a teacher, I believe this is the root of our frustration. I'm sure what I'm about to say won't be very popular, but it's something that's been eating at me slowly throughout the years because there is such a snowball effect as to what schools and teachers are expected to be accountable for. There's been a gradual release of accountability from parents and families, and that has landed on schools/teachers.

Parents forgot to pack a snack? I'm expected to provide one that I have to buy out of my own pocket. Parents don't provide school supplies? I am expected to provide them and the $200 budget I get for all supplies for the entire year doesn't stretch that far when many students arrive without any school supplies. The school wants to foster relationships with parents? Teachers are expected to donate food/activities/personal time for the event since the events with the best attendance provide free food. Parents can't afford holiday gifts for their children? There's an angel tree in the staff lounge that we're expected to fulfill. Parents can't pick their kids up from after free school clubs, which we sponsor completely uncompensated, at the designated pick up time? We're expected to sit and wait with the kids until the parents show up. There are schools where there are washers and dryers, and staff rotate taking turns doing laundry for students so that they have clean clothes--my school hasn't gotten to this point yet but the precedent has been set by other schools so it's only a matter of time before it reaches more schools.

So when parents send their clearly sick kids to school, it feels like one more way that they have released accountability for their kids onto us. It's not any of the one things in a vacuum, but the snowball effect of all of them. But when your kid pukes on the carpet in my classroom when they puked at home last night but sent them into school anyway, and then the virus slowly goes through the classroom culminating in my need to take some of my 8 total days of sick leave for the year, it feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I work in a focus school, and I stay because I truly care about the kids. The kids aren't responsible for their parents' choices. But it's morale depleting and frustrating when the parents seem to have time and money for the "wants" but not the "needs" because they know it will be supplied for them. There's money for their 8 year old to have their own iphone, but not $20 for a holiday gift since they know one will be provided if they ask the school. They know that there are no consequences to them for releasing accountability of their kids onto the school. That knowledge allows them to have more kids than they can provide for, as well. The actual teaching part of my job is almost secondary by now. I am mom, nurse, therapist, janitor and social worker all wrapped up in a teacher's job title.

Cue the "you shouldn't be a teacher" and "I'm glad you're not my child's teacher" comments. No worries, I don't work in a DCUM approved school. But for me, at least, this is a big reason why I get so frustrated when parents send their sick kids to school. Of course, there's also the factor of knowing the kid feels miserable and would much rather be comfortable at home than at school but their parent sent them anyway. I understand what an inconvenience it is to need to be at work but your kid needs to stay home, especially with the sub shortage going on. But I am the parent, not the school, so I do what's best for my kid and what's best for his classmates and teacher which is to keep him home when he's sick.

1,000,000 % this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents asking for a work packet don’t understand what classrooms like these days. For math- the kids will work on a complex problem for 10-15 minutes. Often things like analyzing a wrong answer & then developing a teaching plan for how to correct the errors. Then, 20 minutes of concept development and a debrief. Sending home a worksheet wouldn’t cover it. Writing- last week we talked about how writers use comparisons to explain things to readers. We used a mentor text for examples then kids did writers-workshop where they used the skill. Readers workshop- was about non fiction text features. Kids then choose a nonfiction book & redesigned an index to include subtopics. Social studies was weighing the recycling bins & trash cans (we are pushing for the school to bring composting back) and need a baseline for how much food waste goes into the trash that could be composted. Then we went to maker space to learn about composting & how we can engage the school in the project.
Why am I telling you this? Because very little of the work is worksheets or dittos anymore. There just isn’t anything to send home.

Ours do worksheets or play on the chrome books. They aren't having discussions and reviewing their work. The teachers barely even look at the worksheets. No wonder our kids aren't prepared for middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

They are either unwilling to parent in a responsible manner and inconvenience themselves or they have no other choices because of external circumstances..
95% are the former.

[Anonymous]

As a parent I become annoyed with parents who send their kids/ youth to school with fevers/ colds/ sore throats/ stomach problems.

I also become annoyed with the school when it fails to notify parents of cases of highly contagious illnesses such as strep throat and lice. To be fair, some kids are silent carriers and transmitters of strep and other bacteria/ viruses.

Teachers/ school nurses and parents need to work together to contain spread of flus/ strep/ etc. none of us can prevent school epidemics on our own.

That said, I send my kid with hand sanitizer attached to her back pack and ask her to wash her hands regularly throughout the day. We also do a lot of immune building (good diet, adequate sleep, supplements) and that seems to have helped enormously.

Please, teachers and parents and school nurses - we need to work together to protect the health of our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know, all these people who don't have access to childcare or sick leave. Such jerks.

Get over yourself, OP, and be glad that's your biggest worry in life. I mean it. There are people who have a hell of a lot more to deal with.

Give me a break. Are people just not accountable for ANYTHING anymore. Your kids are sick, you keep them home. I am a pregnant teacher and will not tolerate any sick child in my class. They can sit in the nurses office all day if the parents don’t care to come get them. Most of them eventually do.

Don’t have kids if you can’t take care of them.

As a teacher, I believe this is the root of our frustration. I'm sure what I'm about to say won't be very popular, but it's something that's been eating at me slowly throughout the years because there is such a snowball effect as to what schools and teachers are expected to be accountable for. There's been a gradual release of accountability from parents and families, and that has landed on schools/teachers.

Parents forgot to pack a snack? I'm expected to provide one that I have to buy out of my own pocket. Parents don't provide school supplies? I am expected to provide them and the $200 budget I get for all supplies for the entire year doesn't stretch that far when many students arrive without any school supplies. The school wants to foster relationships with parents? Teachers are expected to donate food/activities/personal time for the event since the events with the best attendance provide free food. Parents can't afford holiday gifts for their children? There's an angel tree in the staff lounge that we're expected to fulfill. Parents can't pick their kids up from after free school clubs, which we sponsor completely uncompensated, at the designated pick up time? We're expected to sit and wait with the kids until the parents show up. There are schools where there are washers and dryers, and staff rotate taking turns doing laundry for students so that they have clean clothes--my school hasn't gotten to this point yet but the precedent has been set by other schools so it's only a matter of time before it reaches more schools.

So when parents send their clearly sick kids to school, it feels like one more way that they have released accountability for their kids onto us. It's not any of the one things in a vacuum, but the snowball effect of all of them. But when your kid pukes on the carpet in my classroom when they puked at home last night but sent them into school anyway, and then the virus slowly goes through the classroom culminating in my need to take some of my 8 total days of sick leave for the year, it feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I work in a focus school, and I stay because I truly care about the kids. The kids aren't responsible for their parents' choices. But it's morale depleting and frustrating when the parents seem to have time and money for the "wants" but not the "needs" because they know it will be supplied for them. There's money for their 8 year old to have their own iphone, but not $20 for a holiday gift since they know one will be provided if they ask the school. They know that there are no consequences to them for releasing accountability of their kids onto the school. That knowledge allows them to have more kids than they can provide for, as well. The actual teaching part of my job is almost secondary by now. I am mom, nurse, therapist, janitor and social worker all wrapped up in a teacher's job title.

Cue the "you shouldn't be a teacher" and "I'm glad you're not my child's teacher" comments. No worries, I don't work in a DCUM approved school. But for me, at least, this is a big reason why I get so frustrated when parents send their sick kids to school. Of course, there's also the factor of knowing the kid feels miserable and would much rather be comfortable at home than at school but their parent sent them anyway. I understand what an inconvenience it is to need to be at work but your kid needs to stay home, especially with the sub shortage going on. But I am the parent, not the school, so I do what's best for my kid and what's best for his classmates and teacher which is to keep him home when he's sick.

I am not a teacher (I couldn't possibly handle what you guys handle) and I'm not a parent either. And I'm not making excuses but sometimes I wonder what the parents are going through when they behave this way. Are they truly irresponsible or overwhelmed?

[Anonymous]

And PS not it should not a be a teacher's job to provide snacks, school supplies and overtime.