Mom leaves her baby in the car at daycare pickup wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be sure to find this thread and leave a "Bump" comment the next time a child is snatched from a car, or a child suffocates inside a car. And trust me, there will be a next time. So sad.

What about the next time a child is killed in a parking lot? En route to or from where the parent's car is parked on the street & the school/store/post office/drycleaners?

If the parents say they did everything they could to prevent it, that's one thing. Taking a risk like this--against the advice of doctors, teachers, police, principals, auto manufacturers, car seat manufacturers--that means you are irresponsible.

But actual facts show the opposite -- unless the conditions are such that the car will get dangerously hot during this time, taking a child out of the car to cross a parking lot or do a quick errand puts the child at a far greater risk for death, harm, or injury than leaving a child in the car for a few minutes under similiar circumstances does. So if your definition of irresponsible parenting includes putting one's child at increased risk for harm, the actions of a parent who takes his or her child out of the car in this situation are objectively more irresponsible than those of a parent who leaves his or child in the car.

The strong likelihood of the individuals, groups & organizations you referenced all advising a parent against leaving his or her child in the cars in the above situation does not change the fact that, when compared to getting the child out of the car & crossing a parking lot with him or her, this is the statistically safer choice. That so many "expert" recommendations &, in some cases, even laws caution against leaving babies & young children unattended in cars under any circumstances is indicative not of how inherently dangerous it is to do so but how widespread the inability ( or perhaps ,in some cases, unwillingness) to properly access risk based on facts rather than emotions has become in the age of social media & 24/7 news cycles .

And what is your source for these facts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like that list is a joke. It's a joke, right? Of course it takes you that long if you are a moron with saying goodbye issues.

I'm in and out. Teachers hate moms like you.

eh, the preschools generally want parents to be in line with their kids and ready for drop off when the classroom door opens. It gets all of the kids started at the same time.

That has nothing to do with "pick flowers, wave goodbye at window, potty child (this happens before you leave the home), go back in for another hug" etc. This Mom may have nothing better to do with her day, but most people enjoy the process being as seamless and quick as possible. OP's person was able to do it in 2 minutes. I can do it in under 5.

Good for you. I'm saying that simply walking my kid in with the crowd of other kids/parents walking into the school, standing in line at the door and waiting for it to open, giving a quick hug and then walking out and back to the car is more of a 10 minute process.

Now if I waited and zoomed in with my kid as a straggler...yeah, I could do it much quicker but I don't think that the teachers appreciate that too much.

Do you do the same ridiculous 20 step process at pick up? Because the OP is about pick up, not your child having a poop and seven special hugs at drop off.

I'm not the one with the long list. I explained exactly how drop off works. Pick up would mean getting to the school, standing in line for my child, getting my child from the classroom, walking back out through a crowd of other parents/kids, possibly having a quick chat with other parents/kids on the way out. Again, this is not a 2 minute process. It is closer to 10 minutes.

You could be speedier by always being a bit on the late side and being one of the last parents there to pick up your kid.

Not all centers have a finite start and end time, more of a window, so it would be very unusual for all parents to arrive at the same time.

+1. I've never had to wait in long line. There may be a couple other parents but never a line. I've had to wait a few times while a parent signed the sheet but only a second or two.

[Anonymous]

Statistical risk to baby from crossing the parking lot is almost certainly deadlier than the risk from 2 minutes in a climate-controlled car. Most people are horrible at assessing risk, clearly.

[Anonymous]

Approximately 11,000 children in the US are injured as pedestrians each year. About 100 are victims of stranger abductions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drug addicts seeking a quick buck really aren't in the baby stealing business. To compare a laptop to a baby is silly. Also, was the laptop theft in a daycare/prescchool parking lot? Because that would be CRAZY based upon how many parents are constantly walking in/out.

You sound a little crazy yourself. Go back and read this justification for leaving a baby unattended in a public place. I'd rather leave my kid all the way at home in his/her crib.

No, she's making sense. A laptop is more likely to be stolen from a car than a baby.

[Anonymous]

Presumably there are parents running around the parking lot during these two minutes, so I would say it's pretty safe. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be sure to find this thread and leave a "Bump" comment the next time a child is snatched from a car, or a child suffocates inside a car. And trust me, there will be a next time. So sad.

What about the next time a child is killed in a parking lot? En route to or from where the parent's car is parked on the street & the school/store/post office/drycleaners?

If the parents say they did everything they could to prevent it, that's one thing. Taking a risk like this--against the advice of doctors, teachers, police, principals, auto manufacturers, car seat manufacturers--that means you are irresponsible.

But actual facts show the opposite -- unless the conditions are such that the car will get dangerously hot during this time, taking a child out of the car to cross a parking lot or do a quick errand puts the child at a far greater risk for death, harm, or injury than leaving a child in the car for a few minutes under similiar circumstances does. So if your definition of irresponsible parenting includes putting one's child at increased risk for harm, the actions of a parent who takes his or her child out of the car in this situation are objectively more irresponsible than those of a parent who leaves his or child in the car.

The strong likelihood of the individuals, groups & organizations you referenced all advising a parent against leaving his or her child in the cars in the above situation does not change the fact that, when compared to getting the child out of the car & crossing a parking lot with him or her, this is the statistically safer choice. That so many "expert" recommendations &, in some cases, even laws caution against leaving babies & young children unattended in cars under any circumstances is indicative not of how inherently dangerous it is to do so but how widespread the inability ( or perhaps ,in some cases, unwillingness) to properly access risk based on facts rather than emotions has become in the age of social media & 24/7 news cycles .

And what is your source for these facts?

The NPR article a PP posted a few pages back, for one. If you need proof beyond that, Google is your friend. Plenty of articles/studies from reputable sources containing these facts are out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all- there's a mom who has a napping baby in the car while she picks up her kid from daycare. She has to enter the building, go around the corner, sign out the kid, and get back to the car. Car is running. There isn't normally space right out front-but it's not a far walk. I timed it-child is unaccompanied in the car for about two minutes. Say something? Or MYOB.

So quick to judge: this is clearly an Emanuel Lewis situation. That 'kid' is her 32-year-old husband. I know them personally - I also go to this daycare. I met them when I tried to rescue the man from crossing the street unattended. So embarrassing for me. You're welcome for saving you the same shame!

I'm a bit ashamed to admit how hard I laughed at this so will blame it on being really tired.

I'm tired I guess because I don't get the reference.

Midget kid from Webster, 80s sitcom...

...which is the second Webster reference in a week (came up in last week's episode of the new program "This is Us.")

[Anonymous]

If you can find some way to let the daycare center know w/o pointing the finger at one particular mom, that's probably the best way to handle this.

1) Yes, the kid's at no real risk, or at least no greater than the background risk that's happening every day as you drive to work, cross the street, etc., etc. What is it, under 100 kids a year kidnapped by a total stranger?
2) Doing this puts other parents and observers in an uncomfortable position. They don't know that you're coming right back out in under 2 minutes. While they might feel ridiculous calling relevant authorities over a 2-minute leave, what about 5 minutes? 10? 15? 30? Again -- you don't know if Mom's coming back in 2, 5, 10, or 15 minutes.
3) Folks expecting OP to drop everything and routinely look after this kid are expecting saintly behavior from OP -- and parents who're asking for help once always seem to ask over and over again. Come on, we all know a mom or two like that -- who's always needing someone to give her kid(s) a ride to and from stuff, who's always asking for free favors, and never seems to reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all saying this should be reported are CRAZY.

This really is a special kind of American bubble wrap crazy. It defies rational thinking.

I dunno, man. My friend left her laptop on the floor in the back of her car for THREE MINUTES at 11am on a Tuesday and her car was broken into and laptop stolen. No f'ing way I'd do this. My baby means more to me than a laptop.

Laptops are an easy grab and more valuable on the black market.

[Anonymous]

The other day my toddler fell asleep in the car and I left her in the car and ran to get DS from school, gone for 2 minutes and car was out of sight, but in didn't got into any buildings.

The only thing I feared was a nosy body calling the cops, not that anything would happen to the baby.

I have to say, that's the worse feeling as a modern parent...that feeling when you're in small bind and have to make choices not based on actual facts but fear of someone not only judging you and reporting you.

I wish we can bring some sanity back to parenting. I don't think OP should stay everyday, but rather she stayed once, saw the mom ran in, ran out and it was fine. No reason to assume the kid is an danger, nor any reason to assume this happens everyday. (My kid fell asleep only that one day)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other day my toddler fell asleep in the car and I left her in the car and ran to get DS from school, gone for 2 minutes and car was out of sight, but in didn't got into any buildings.

The only thing I feared was a nosy body calling the cops, not that anything would happen to the baby.

I have to say, that's the worse feeling as a modern parent...that feeling when you're in small bind and have to make choices not based on actual facts but fear of someone not only judging you and reporting you.

I wish we can bring some sanity back to parenting. I don't think OP should stay everyday, but rather she stayed once, saw the mom ran in, ran out and it was fine. No reason to assume the kid is an danger, nor any reason to assume this happens everyday. (My kid fell asleep only that one day)

Thank you for your sane, rational comments. ITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other day my toddler fell asleep in the car and I left her in the car and ran to get DS from school, gone for 2 minutes and car was out of sight, but in didn't got into any buildings.

The only thing I feared was a nosy body calling the cops, not that anything would happen to the baby.

I have to say, that's the worse feeling as a modern parent...that feeling when you're in small bind and have to make choices not based on actual facts but fear of someone not only judging you and reporting you.

I wish we can bring some sanity back to parenting. I don't think OP should stay everyday, but rather she stayed once, saw the mom ran in, ran out and it was fine. No reason to assume the kid is an danger, nor any reason to assume this happens everyday. (My kid fell asleep only that one day)

I agree with your sanity comment 100%.

You have to ask yourself what is wrong with our society and how do we fix it especially in comparison to other countries where babies are left outside from time to time

Anyway OP to answer your question of wwyd, if I were concerned like you I would offer to stand with the baby or maybe offer to pick up the ther kid for her.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who timed drop off this morning?

To the Long List Lady:

3 minutes, 10 seconds

Get child out of car
Put on his backpack
Ring the building buzzer, wait for someone to let us in
Go to child's class room, hang backpack and coat
Take child to the morning gathering area
Sign child in
Find child and give hugs goodbye
Get back to car

I'd have to try really hard to stay for 10-20 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like that list is a joke. It's a joke, right? Of course it takes you that long if you are a moron with saying goodbye issues.

I'm in and out. Teachers hate moms like you.

eh, the preschools generally want parents to be in line with their kids and ready for drop off when the classroom door opens. It gets all of the kids started at the same time.

That has nothing to do with "pick flowers, wave goodbye at window, potty child (this happens before you leave the home), go back in for another hug" etc. This Mom may have nothing better to do with her day, but most people enjoy the process being as seamless and quick as possible. OP's person was able to do it in 2 minutes. I can do it in under 5.

Good for you. I'm saying that simply walking my kid in with the crowd of other kids/parents walking into the school, standing in line at the door and waiting for it to open, giving a quick hug and then walking out and back to the car is more of a 10 minute process.

Now if I waited and zoomed in with my kid as a straggler...yeah, I could do it much quicker but I don't think that the teachers appreciate that too much.

Do you do the same ridiculous 20 step process at pick up? Because the OP is about pick up, not your child having a poop and seven special hugs at drop off.

I'm not the one with the long list. I explained exactly how drop off works. Pick up would mean getting to the school, standing in line for my child, getting my child from the classroom, walking back out through a crowd of other parents/kids, possibly having a quick chat with other parents/kids on the way out. Again, this is not a 2 minute process. It is closer to 10 minutes.

You could be speedier by always being a bit on the late side and being one of the last parents there to pick up your kid.

Not all centers have a finite start and end time, more of a window, so it would be very unusual for all parents to arrive at the same time.

Then if this is the case and parents are picking up at staggered times throughout the day then we are also talking about a relatively empty parking lot at any given time and a baby alone inside a car with the engine running...no one around. Pick up is probably quicker but if a carjacker is casing the lot for an opportunity...there would be no one around to see him or stop him.

If a carjacker has been casing out the preschool I'm sure they know which cars to avoid- and it would be those with babies. Carjackers want cars. Kidnappers want babies.