MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!

[Anonymous]

The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

But they aren't "my" Jewish kids. They are "our" Jewish kids. Don't you see the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

But they aren't "my" Jewish kids. They are "our" Jewish kids. Don't you see the difference?

Truly irrelevant. The children are Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

But they aren't "my" Jewish kids. They are "our" Jewish kids. Don't you see the difference?

Yes but I think "my" was because the post was about OP and her MIL. So "MY" was to make clear that they are not MIL's. "Our" might have sounded from the title that they were raising them together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

But they aren't "my" Jewish kids. They are "our" Jewish kids. Don't you see the difference?

Truly irrelevant. The children are Jewish.

I think it was a slip that hints at more than we've been told. I think op treats these kids like they are 100 hers and don't belong to anyone else (like her husband).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

But they aren't "my" Jewish kids. They are "our" Jewish kids. Don't you see the difference?

Truly irrelevant. The children are Jewish.

I think it was a slip that hints at more than we've been told. I think op treats these kids like they are 100 hers and don't belong to anyone else (like her husband).

And I think you are reading way too much into the title, and reading not enough of the OP's posts throughout the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title of your post is very interesting and I'm surprised no one has mentioned it. You say "MY Jewish kids" as opposed to "our Jewish kids." It makes me think you consider these kids yours and 100 Jewish and don't seem to understand they also come from your husband and his Christian family. I think the title of the post says a lot about your attitude and how you approach the mixed marriage.

Once again, OP's family is Jewish. There is no Christianity in the home. Some families practice and celebrate multiple religions but OP's family does not. There is no obligation to allow extended family to expose these Jewish children to a camp where there will certainly be daily prayers to Jesus. This is considered very offensive to Jewish families because of the very long history of Jews being forced to practice other religions.

But they aren't "my" Jewish kids. They are "our" Jewish kids. Don't you see the difference?

Truly irrelevant. The children are Jewish.

I think it was a slip that hints at more than we've been told. I think op treats these kids like they are 100 hers and don't belong to anyone else (like her husband).

And I think you are reading way too much into the title, and reading not enough of the OP's posts throughout the thread.

Yes. Some did mention the "my" vs. "ours" before and it was really a non-starter.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of grandparents willing to die on a hill over religion. MIL wanted to do this. She wanted the kids at bible camp. If she just wanted to put them into a nice summer activity and spend time with them, she could have signed them up for ceramics, swimming, bowling, anything else. Thus us about gramma sticking it to her DIL. She will be seething in her death bed that the kids were never properly "saved."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sound like something my MIL would do. I would be livid. But this is also based on my experience as a child. My southern baptist grandparents sent me to VBS and Sunday school when I visited. I was being raised Catholic. I was quizzed endlessly by the other kids and mocked for "worshipping Mary." It was uncomfortable, too say the least. I'm not okay with grandparents attempting to undermine the religious decisions of the parents and that's exactly what OP's in laws are trying to do.

Exactly. It's not a good environment. Children usually have little to no understanding of religion and will mock what they don't understand. I used to teach catholic religious ed. CCD for kids. Elementary school kids understand very little other than Jesus loves you me now give me a sticker. It's also easy for them to mistakenly assume a sense of superiority and taunt other kids who are not the same.

[Anonymous]

I do think that OP should discuss this with MIL first before nixing the visit. Just say no, if you feel uncomfortable with the camp. However, I was raised in the rural south as a Southern Baptist, and VBC is something that all the kids do in the summer. It has way more to do with socializing, and providing an outlet for kids in the summer than with evangelizing. In rural areas, the Church is like a community center. It's a place that Grandparents bring their Grandkids to when visiting over the summer to show them off to friends and other relatives. Despite being Southern Baptist, my parents were open-minded and nonjudgmental, raised two liberal democratic professional daughters, warmly welcomed a Jewish son-in-law, without once trying to convert him, and proudly take all of their Grandkids to VBC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think that OP should discuss this with MIL first before nixing the visit. Just say no, if you feel uncomfortable with the camp. However, I was raised in the rural south as a Southern Baptist, and VBC is something that all the kids do in the summer. It has way more to do with socializing, and providing an outlet for kids in the summer than with evangelizing. In rural areas, the Church is like a community center. It's a place that Grandparents bring their Grandkids to when visiting over the summer to show them off to friends and other relatives. Despite being Southern Baptist, my parents were open-minded and nonjudgmental, raised two liberal democratic professional daughters, warmly welcomed a Jewish son-in-law, without once trying to convert him, and proudly take all of their Grandkids to VBC.

OP,

It does not matter what I think, but I do not think you should send your children to vacation bible camp if you and your DH view it as contradicting their Jewish identity.

I do not know your in-laws, so I do not know what their goals might be in scheduling Bible camp for your children. Could it be that they see it as a fun social activity that will give them the opportunity to show off their "Grans"? If so, I still do not think you should send them if it does not feel right to you. But maybe that would help you have a different attitude towards your in-laws, and might help you reach out to them when you explain why you and your DH do not want your children to attend Vacation Bible Camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of grandparents willing to die on a hill over religion. MIL wanted to do this. She wanted the kids at bible camp. If she just wanted to put them into a nice summer activity and spend time with them, she could have signed them up for ceramics, swimming, bowling, anything else. Thus us about gramma sticking it to her DIL. She will be seething in her death bed that the kids were never properly "saved."

Bible school is free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of grandparents willing to die on a hill over religion. MIL wanted to do this. She wanted the kids at bible camp. If she just wanted to put them into a nice summer activity and spend time with them, she could have signed them up for ceramics, swimming, bowling, anything else. Thus us about gramma sticking it to her DIL. She will be seething in her death bed that the kids were never properly "saved."

Bible school is free.

OP already offered to pay for other activities. Her MIL didn't pick it because it's free.

[Anonymous]

If I am reading this right, OP decided not to send her kids to MIL? While I agree that MIL was wrong to sign Jewish kids to Bible school, unfortunately this action by OP will cause enormous issues for years to come and nobody will be able to have good time visiting in the future without resentment on both sides. Compromise would have been better. It will cause trouble with DH and OP, it will cause trouble with ILs, it will cause trouble with kids. Rest assured, Grandma will mentioned how mom doesn't want her to spend time with kids, to kids, kids will blame mom. DH will resent OP. Grown ups on all sides acting like drama queens=selfish and unhappy families. This includes all parties involved.