Nobody Wants This on Netflix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is this show could have been made with any religious or cultural or racial groups.

I observed the following IRL:

-Chinese friend’s entire family didn’t attend her wedding because they were outraged that she was marrying a non-Chinese man. Same religion, same advanced level of education, and the guy is awesome on all levels. Didn’t matter. Pretty sure we’ve seen movies about how this plays out in Asian culture, right?

-A white friend’s family threatened to cut her off when she got engaged to a black man. His family wasn’t any better: his family was blatantly hostile to her the first time he brought her to a family party. She wasn’t deterred despite leaving in tears. She kept showing up and being kind, and they eventually came around. Ditto for her family.

-A Muslim friend’s family did cut her off (stopped paying her tuition) when she got engaged to a catholic white American. She was American too btw—despite her American-born parents considering themselves as “Insert other Muslim country here.” That marriage was a disaster thanks to the unwillingness of her family to accept him. She caved eventually and her parents rewarded her with a new life in another city: fancy new place, new wardrobe, new car, etc.

I could go on, but I’ll stop here. As a shiksa whose future MIL enlisted the help of relatives to try to dissuade us from marrying (I won’t say how, but it was heavily orchestrated and blatant), I chalk it up to loss of control and fear of the unknown that some rigid older women have. It’s a thing, which is why the evil MIL stereotypes exist in every culture, etc.

Wow. I gently offer to you another explanation: since her son has married someone non-Jewish she literally will not have Jewish grandchildren. I’m not saying that it’s right to put pressure on your kids; it certainly isn’t. But it’s not very mysterious why she felt this way. It’s actually a huge, huge cultural loss. Hopefully realizing that can lead you towards some compassion.

One could argue that any time people from two backgrounds procreate, there is always some “dilution.” Framing such unions as loss reflects a world view that we should continue to separate into tribes, vs move forward as one species (ie, humans).

Jews could also question the old notion that their religion can only be passed through the mother. This belief is not embraced by most religions. It probably stems from the fact that in the past, only maternity could be confirmed (not paternity). Or maybe it is based upon women traditionally raising children. Either way, a people can evolve with the times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a shiksa married to a Jew and I keep the Jewish traditions alive in our family. He doesn’t really care about observing and neither of us believe in god but I think it’s important for our children to know their heritage and the fact that my fil was a Holocaust survivor makes it even more important that they understand it. So I lead the charge in going (occasionally) to shul, lighting Shabbat candles and celebrating holidays. I know dh appreciates it as does his mom (who was herself a convert) but he wouldn’t take it upon himself to do these things.

Good point.

If it is such a sacred obligation
to continue the traditions, why can’t the actual Jew in the marriage embrace that responsibility?

Smells like sexism to me.

[Anonymous]

Meh. Millenial version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve not watched this yet but I’m surprised some find it offensive towards Jewish women, 3 people have recommended it to me and all 3 were Jewish women

That is because opinions are subjective, not some certifiable truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kristen bell has something weird with her mouth - it’s the same issue due to filler or something that Christa miller has from scrubs.

The actors are good looking 40yo who are playing young 30s and it doesn’t work.

A worldly woman who grew up in Sherman oaks does and does not know what Shabbat is or anything about Judaism is not believable.

The emigration timeline for his parents does not really work with history, but whatever. Nor does the promotion politics of his job with the senior rabbi.

Seth cohen is beautiful.

I didn’t know who he was before this so I just looked him up. He’s attractive in this one but WAY more attractive without the beard.

He was in the OC. They should have cast Marissa as the flaky sister.

Justine Lupe is perfect at the sister. She is hilarious.

Yeah she’s great. Another thing that’s funny about her character in this show is that she actually played an overzealous Jewish convert wife on the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - which I think was her funniest role ever - but here she plays such a wasp.

Another funny parallel that maybe has not come up is that Adam Brody was Lane's boyfriend in Gilmore Girls who wasn't fully accepted by her family because he wasn't Christian or Korean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kristen bell has something weird with her mouth - it’s the same issue due to filler or something that Christa miller has from scrubs.

The actors are good looking 40yo who are playing young 30s and it doesn’t work.

A worldly woman who grew up in Sherman oaks does and does not know what Shabbat is or anything about Judaism is not believable.

The emigration timeline for his parents does not really work with history, but whatever. Nor does the promotion politics of his job with the senior rabbi.

Seth cohen is beautiful.

I didn’t know who he was before this so I just looked him up. He’s attractive in this one but WAY more attractive without the beard.

He was in the OC. They should have cast Marissa as the flaky sister.

Justine Lupe is perfect at the sister. She is hilarious.

Yeah she’s great. Another thing that’s funny about her character in this show is that she actually played an overzealous Jewish convert wife on the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - which I think was her funniest role ever - but here she plays such a wasp.

Another funny parallel that maybe has not come up is that Adam Brody was Lane's boyfriend in Gilmore Girls who wasn't fully accepted by her family because he wasn't Christian or Korean.

His departure really ruined Lane's life. I am still mad about that storyline!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been watching a bunch of reels with Kristen and Adam and Kristen mentioned her character was 38.

They are both 44 so probably 43 when they filmed this so that tracks. They can both pass for late 30s.

Good.

Too old to have children so they can skip the whole “how do we raise our children” krap.

As my college Jewish BF tragically said: “If it wasn’t for my Jewish parents and my future kids, we’d get married’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m half Jewish and the stereotypes really bugged me. Along with Bell’s aforementioned lip issue.

On the other hand, I think Adam Brody is really cute and see that in real life he’s a secular Jew.

“Secular Jew” is more offensive than most of the clearly intentional stereotypes in the show. You can’t be a “secular Jew.”

It’s a religion.

It is also a culture.

It’s a race.

Mic drop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really disliked this show. Every single Jewish women character was a one dimensional caricature

Not the rabbi.

I thought the SIL had really good moments where she broke the caricature. Rachel, even with limited screen time, was pretty dimensional. And I wanted more of the cool, friendly woman from the retreat.

[Anonymous]

Young me, who had an unpleasant experience as a 'shiksa' dating a Jewish guy with an unwelcoming family in college, would have loved the ending of this series. Older me thinks they don't belong together and he shouldn't give up his dream, his life's vocation, to pursue this relationship with someone so wildly different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Young me, who had an unpleasant experience as a 'shiksa' dating a Jewish guy with an unwelcoming family in college, would have loved the ending of this series. Older me thinks they don't belong together and he shouldn't give up his dream, his life's vocation, to pursue this relationship with someone so wildly different.

I think interfaith marriage with a secular Jew, like Adam Brody and Leighton Meester IRL, is very different from marriage with a freaking rabbi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Young me, who had an unpleasant experience as a 'shiksa' dating a Jewish guy with an unwelcoming family in college, would have loved the ending of this series. Older me thinks they don't belong together and he shouldn't give up his dream, his life's vocation, to pursue this relationship with someone so wildly different.

Spoiler alert!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young me, who had an unpleasant experience as a 'shiksa' dating a Jewish guy with an unwelcoming family in college, would have loved the ending of this series. Older me thinks they don't belong together and he shouldn't give up his dream, his life's vocation, to pursue this relationship with someone so wildly different.

I think interfaith marriage with a secular Jew, like Adam Brody and Leighton Meester IRL, is very different from marriage with a freaking rabbi.

It would never happen. Erin Foster did not marry a rabbi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young me, who had an unpleasant experience as a 'shiksa' dating a Jewish guy with an unwelcoming family in college, would have loved the ending of this series. Older me thinks they don't belong together and he shouldn't give up his dream, his life's vocation, to pursue this relationship with someone so wildly different.

I think interfaith marriage with a secular Jew, like Adam Brody and Leighton Meester IRL, is very different from marriage with a freaking rabbi.

It would never happen. Erin Foster did not marry a rabbi.

Yes, exactly. That was a poor decision to make the character one. Adds a whole other layer that should not be whitewashed away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is this show could have been made with any religious or cultural or racial groups.

I observed the following IRL:

-Chinese friend’s entire family didn’t attend her wedding because they were outraged that she was marrying a non-Chinese man. Same religion, same advanced level of education, and the guy is awesome on all levels. Didn’t matter. Pretty sure we’ve seen movies about how this plays out in Asian culture, right?

-A white friend’s family threatened to cut her off when she got engaged to a black man. His family wasn’t any better: his family was blatantly hostile to her the first time he brought her to a family party. She wasn’t deterred despite leaving in tears. She kept showing up and being kind, and they eventually came around. Ditto for her family.

-A Muslim friend’s family did cut her off (stopped paying her tuition) when she got engaged to a catholic white American. She was American too btw—despite her American-born parents considering themselves as “Insert other Muslim country here.” That marriage was a disaster thanks to the unwillingness of her family to accept him. She caved eventually and her parents rewarded her with a new life in another city: fancy new place, new wardrobe, new car, etc.

I could go on, but I’ll stop here. As a shiksa whose future MIL enlisted the help of relatives to try to dissuade us from marrying (I won’t say how, but it was heavily orchestrated and blatant), I chalk it up to loss of control and fear of the unknown that some rigid older women have. It’s a thing, which is why the evil MIL stereotypes exist in every culture, etc.

Wow. I gently offer to you another explanation: since her son has married someone non-Jewish she literally will not have Jewish grandchildren. I’m not saying that it’s right to put pressure on your kids; it certainly isn’t. But it’s not very mysterious why she felt this way. It’s actually a huge, huge cultural loss. Hopefully realizing that can lead you towards some compassion.

One could argue that any time people from two backgrounds procreate, there is always some “dilution.” Framing such unions as loss reflects a world view that we should continue to separate into tribes, vs move forward as one species (ie, humans).

Jews could also question the old notion that their religion can only be passed through the mother. This belief is not embraced by most religions. It probably stems from the fact that in the past, only maternity could be confirmed (not paternity). Or maybe it is based upon women traditionally raising children. Either way, a people can evolve with the times.

One could certainly argue those things. Or one could recognize that giving an ethnic group helpful hints on how to “evolve” and modernize their 4000 year old cultural traditions is a bit clueless and white-missionary-esque.