APS is failing my gifted child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Warehouse the not normal kids? You’re objectively awful.

Beats pretending they’re normal and as a result forcing the entire pace of learning to slow down to accommodate them. Every choice comes at a cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warehouse the not normal kids? You’re objectively awful.

Beats pretending they’re normal and as a result forcing the entire pace of learning to slow down to accommodate them. Every choice comes at a cost.

The cost of warehousing the “not normal” kids means that kids have fewer opportunities to learn how to become compassionate humans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

+1

If you are friends and neighbors with people for many years you find out. Some people also work with each other and/or went to law/grad school together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:APS is failing other parents' non-gifted kids, too. You're not special.

APS only job is to get kids to pass the SOLs. Period.

Agreed.

I don’t believe it’s the goals of individual teachers, although this is true for some. Nor do I believe it’s important to most families. But it is the driving force behind APS administration.

I am shocked now by how many people pull their child for privates. While I acknowledge there are economic changes in Arlington allowing this, it’s also a reflection of how so many families feel about our public schools.

In your Yorktown zoned street, every child goes to private school.

On our W-L street with $$$ homes, only 3 out of 13 kids go to private.

“Only”?!? About 1/4 of the kids leave APS and you don’t think that is significant? I disagree.

On my Yorktown block, it’s currently 8/14 in private but the trend is private as they age so all 8 are HSers.

I know people say good riddance and all but it’s a dramatic shift over the last two decades, accelerated by Covid I am sure.

For one of the most affluent areas in the county “only” 3 of 13 means that even affluent families are still choosing APS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warehouse the not normal kids? You’re objectively awful.

Beats pretending they’re normal and as a result forcing the entire pace of learning to slow down to accommodate them. Every choice comes at a cost.

The cost of warehousing the “not normal” kids means that kids have fewer opportunities to learn how to become compassionate humans.

If you're suggesting that normal kids can't learn how to be compassionate without sped kids in a classroom, it's pretty sad how low sped parents will go to shame them. School life is not the only life, and most kids come across people of different abilities within their own family, volunteering, and at other places such as places of worship. Stifling kids from learning at an appropriate rate just creates the opposite effect you are arguing for in the end. Do you demand that sped kids be part of varsity and jv sports teams as well? If not, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warehouse the not normal kids? You’re objectively awful.

Beats pretending they’re normal and as a result forcing the entire pace of learning to slow down to accommodate them. Every choice comes at a cost.

The cost of warehousing the “not normal” kids means that kids have fewer opportunities to learn how to become compassionate humans.

The mission and purpose of school is education, not inculcating morals. A school where no one who graduated could read but everyone was "nice" would be a failure of a school and we'd all recognize it. A school where everyone is educated to the best of their ability, but all moral instruction is left to parents (beyond what is necessary to get along in a classroom) would be perhaps a lost opportunity, but still a functional school system. All discussion of school policy should occur on this basis. The primary goal is paramount, and achieving secondary goals at the expense of the primary goal shouldn't be tolerated. Going down that road leads to failed institutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

+1. Also lol at telling people “I went to New Haven,” as if there is any uncertainty about what that means. At least people who cite Boston could be referring to multiple universities.

Of course, all of this misses the original point that it’s the status-obsessed and the strivers that run around saying where they went. Tons of people go to these schools and don’t say much about it because they aren’t these types of people. They are not one and the same. But one particular striver got incredibly triggered about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warehouse the not normal kids? You’re objectively awful.

Beats pretending they’re normal and as a result forcing the entire pace of learning to slow down to accommodate them. Every choice comes at a cost.

The cost of warehousing the “not normal” kids means that kids have fewer opportunities to learn how to become compassionate humans.

If you're suggesting that normal kids can't learn how to be compassionate without sped kids in a classroom, it's pretty sad how low sped parents will go to shame them. School life is not the only life, and most kids come across people of different abilities within their own family, volunteering, and at other places such as places of worship. Stifling kids from learning at an appropriate rate just creates the opposite effect you are arguing for in the end. Do you demand that sped kids be part of varsity and jv sports teams as well? If not, why not?

No. Strawman.

It was more of a commentary on the horrible warehouse poster. He missed some critical life lessons somewhere along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

+1. Also lol at telling people “I went to New Haven,” as if there is any uncertainty about what that means. At least people who cite Boston could be referring to multiple universities.

Of course, all of this misses the original point that it’s the status-obsessed and the strivers that run around saying where they went. Tons of people go to these schools and don’t say much about it because they aren’t these types of people. They are not one and the same. But one particular striver got incredibly triggered about this.

What? You have some weird misconceptions about people who went to elite schools, probably because of your own insecurities.

First, I don't say I went to school in New Haven, I would say Connecticut. Second, if I wanted to impress you with where I went to school, why would I say that instead of just telling you? I avoid telling you to avoid the weirdness that often comes along with me actually telling you. And because I don't need to impress you. I also never raise it, nor does anyone else I know who I went to school with. We all want to avoid the weird responses, and don't feel like dealing with it, that's why we say "I went to school in Connecticut."

And just to give you a sense of why we avoid actually answering, here are some of the reactions I have gotten when I have disclosed:
- questions about my background, grades, test scores, how I got in
- quizzing me about how to get their own kid in
- you go to Yale, what are you doing working here (waiting tables in college)
- oh you must be so smart, will you help me with my calc homework (no you really don't want my help with that, promise!)

etc, etc, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

+1. Also lol at telling people “I went to New Haven,” as if there is any uncertainty about what that means. At least people who cite Boston could be referring to multiple universities.

Of course, all of this misses the original point that it’s the status-obsessed and the strivers that run around saying where they went. Tons of people go to these schools and don’t say much about it because they aren’t these types of people. They are not one and the same. But one particular striver got incredibly triggered about this.

What? You have some weird misconceptions about people who went to elite schools, probably because of your own insecurities.

First, I don't say I went to school in New Haven, I would say Connecticut. Second, if I wanted to impress you with where I went to school, why would I say that instead of just telling you? I avoid telling you to avoid the weirdness that often comes along with me actually telling you. And because I don't need to impress you. I also never raise it, nor does anyone else I know who I went to school with. We all want to avoid the weird responses, and don't feel like dealing with it, that's why we say "I went to school in Connecticut."

And just to give you a sense of why we avoid actually answering, here are some of the reactions I have gotten when I have disclosed:
- questions about my background, grades, test scores, how I got in
- quizzing me about how to get their own kid in
- you go to Yale, what are you doing working here (waiting tables in college)
- oh you must be so smart, will you help me with my calc homework (no you really don't want my help with that, promise!)

etc, etc, etc.

Um, this is super weird for North Arlington. I know several people who went to Yale. And Harvard. And Princeton. Not too many Stanford. Lots of Duke. Several Dartmouth. We live in an area where most people at some point have some dance pedigree on their bio. Even if not undergrad. And it comes up when you become friends with people. We are hanging on the sidelines of our kids soccer games and you are wearing your Brown sweatshirt. It’s just not that weird to say: oh you went to Brown? My former colleague John went there and loved it. Or you went to Duke? We hate the Blue Devils because we went to UVA. I just think this whole to thread is the awkward wierdos who don’t have any friends or something. I don’t go up to people at pickup and say: I want to Harvard. People don’t come up to me and ask me where I went to college. But I’m friends and neighborly with my neighborhood school group and we know where each other went to schools. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

+1. Also lol at telling people “I went to New Haven,” as if there is any uncertainty about what that means. At least people who cite Boston could be referring to multiple universities.

Of course, all of this misses the original point that it’s the status-obsessed and the strivers that run around saying where they went. Tons of people go to these schools and don’t say much about it because they aren’t these types of people. They are not one and the same. But one particular striver got incredibly triggered about this.

What? You have some weird misconceptions about people who went to elite schools, probably because of your own insecurities.

First, I don't say I went to school in New Haven, I would say Connecticut. Second, if I wanted to impress you with where I went to school, why would I say that instead of just telling you? I avoid telling you to avoid the weirdness that often comes along with me actually telling you. And because I don't need to impress you. I also never raise it, nor does anyone else I know who I went to school with. We all want to avoid the weird responses, and don't feel like dealing with it, that's why we say "I went to school in Connecticut."

And just to give you a sense of why we avoid actually answering, here are some of the reactions I have gotten when I have disclosed:
- questions about my background, grades, test scores, how I got in
- quizzing me about how to get their own kid in
- you go to Yale, what are you doing working here (waiting tables in college)
- oh you must be so smart, will you help me with my calc homework (no you really don't want my help with that, promise!)

etc, etc, etc.

Um, this is super weird for North Arlington. I know several people who went to Yale. And Harvard. And Princeton. Not too many Stanford. Lots of Duke. Several Dartmouth. We live in an area where most people at some point have some dance pedigree on their bio. Even if not undergrad. And it comes up when you become friends with people. We are hanging on the sidelines of our kids soccer games and you are wearing your Brown sweatshirt. It’s just not that weird to say: oh you went to Brown? My former colleague John went there and loved it. Or you went to Duke? We hate the Blue Devils because we went to UVA. I just think this whole to thread is the awkward wierdos who don’t have any friends or something. I don’t go up to people at pickup and say: I want to Harvard. People don’t come up to me and ask me where I went to college. But I’m friends and neighborly with my neighborhood school group and we know where each other went to schools. Jesus.

THIS LOL. I've lived here for 25 years and it just does not come up that much, and when it does it's usually sports related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

+1. Also lol at telling people “I went to New Haven,” as if there is any uncertainty about what that means. At least people who cite Boston could be referring to multiple universities.

Of course, all of this misses the original point that it’s the status-obsessed and the strivers that run around saying where they went. Tons of people go to these schools and don’t say much about it because they aren’t these types of people. They are not one and the same. But one particular striver got incredibly triggered about this.

What? You have some weird misconceptions about people who went to elite schools, probably because of your own insecurities.

First, I don't say I went to school in New Haven, I would say Connecticut. Second, if I wanted to impress you with where I went to school, why would I say that instead of just telling you? I avoid telling you to avoid the weirdness that often comes along with me actually telling you. And because I don't need to impress you. I also never raise it, nor does anyone else I know who I went to school with. We all want to avoid the weird responses, and don't feel like dealing with it, that's why we say "I went to school in Connecticut."

And just to give you a sense of why we avoid actually answering, here are some of the reactions I have gotten when I have disclosed:
- questions about my background, grades, test scores, how I got in
- quizzing me about how to get their own kid in
- you go to Yale, what are you doing working here (waiting tables in college)
- oh you must be so smart, will you help me with my calc homework (no you really don't want my help with that, promise!)

etc, etc, etc.

Um, this is super weird for North Arlington. I know several people who went to Yale. And Harvard. And Princeton. Not too many Stanford. Lots of Duke. Several Dartmouth. We live in an area where most people at some point have some dance pedigree on their bio. Even if not undergrad. And it comes up when you become friends with people. We are hanging on the sidelines of our kids soccer games and you are wearing your Brown sweatshirt. It’s just not that weird to say: oh you went to Brown? My former colleague John went there and loved it. Or you went to Duke? We hate the Blue Devils because we went to UVA. I just think this whole to thread is the awkward wierdos who don’t have any friends or something. I don’t go up to people at pickup and say: I want to Harvard. People don’t come up to me and ask me where I went to college. But I’m friends and neighborly with my neighborhood school group and we know where each other went to schools. Jesus.

PP here. While I agree that people are less likely to have weird reactions in Arlington compared to other places, but I have lived here for a very long time, and it just does not come up very often. Maybe we run in different crowds if your and your friends are constantly asking where other adults went to college 20+ years ago. Again, I have never asked someone where they went to college. I just don't care. And I don't care to be asked either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP saying they are at Taylor, or is that someone else responding?

Someone else I think. We are from Taylor but I’m like 90% sure most of the parents aren’t from Harvard… maybe some UVA but all I’ve met are from UmD and Penn State etc

How do you even know where the other parents in your kid's elementary school went to college? This comes up in casual conversation?

Status-obsessed strivers love to bring this stuff up in conversations.

You're wrong. I went to a status school, and I promise you I never bring it up. I often deflect even when asked directly.

This is VERY typical behavior by the way with people who went to my college.

No you didn't.

I’m a NP but come on. You’ve never noticed that when asked where they went to college, Harvard grads say “in Boston”? A lot more people deflect than you might think.

Why do you hang out with losers who ask what school you went to when you were a teen/early 20s? Backwards-looking people.

It comes up when we talk about where our kids are thinking of going “where did you, go was it a rural campus, did you like it” sort of thing. I also ask people where they grew up and last vacationed, all in the past!

Here's our answer. It comes up because YOU ask. I literally never ask parents of my kids' friends where they went to college. And I am one who went to school "in Boston."

I went to New Haven. I NEVER ask and hate when they do, but it does come up.

LOL. Two people saying they hate telling others where they went to school.

Yet here they are, unable to help themselves from telling us where they went to school. 😆

+1. Also lol at telling people “I went to New Haven,” as if there is any uncertainty about what that means. At least people who cite Boston could be referring to multiple universities.

Of course, all of this misses the original point that it’s the status-obsessed and the strivers that run around saying where they went. Tons of people go to these schools and don’t say much about it because they aren’t these types of people. They are not one and the same. But one particular striver got incredibly triggered about this.

What? You have some weird misconceptions about people who went to elite schools, probably because of your own insecurities.

First, I don't say I went to school in New Haven, I would say Connecticut. Second, if I wanted to impress you with where I went to school, why would I say that instead of just telling you? I avoid telling you to avoid the weirdness that often comes along with me actually telling you. And because I don't need to impress you. I also never raise it, nor does anyone else I know who I went to school with. We all want to avoid the weird responses, and don't feel like dealing with it, that's why we say "I went to school in Connecticut."

And just to give you a sense of why we avoid actually answering, here are some of the reactions I have gotten when I have disclosed:
- questions about my background, grades, test scores, how I got in
- quizzing me about how to get their own kid in
- you go to Yale, what are you doing working here (waiting tables in college)
- oh you must be so smart, will you help me with my calc homework (no you really don't want my help with that, promise!)

etc, etc, etc.

No, again, we are talking about what strivers do, not just “people who went to elite schools.” The fact that some commenters on this thread are struggling so hard with that distinction is baffling. That’s also true for “I went to New Haven,” which is literally in a comment two comments above mine. It’s almost like you commented without reading anything on this thread first. Or at least you didn’t comprehend any of it if you did.