Has anyone here on a normal income successfully FIREd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you're back, why don't you fill us in on precisely how much baby and toddler parenting you're planning to do.

Not the majority but a reasonable amount that keeps both my wife and I happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you're back, why don't you fill us in on precisely how much baby and toddler parenting you're planning to do.

Not the majority but a reasonable amount that keeps both my wife and I happy.

So she'll do the majority, on a budget, and she'll pay $1m for the privilege?

[Anonymous]

Will she also do the majority of cooking, cleaning and household chores? Because your budget doesn't allow for a cleaning service or much takeout/restaurants.

[Anonymous]

Op, you need to start meeting and dating actual women before you invent the perfect one in your mind. You have been so focused on your goals that you’ve lost touch with the real world.

Find love first, then find the financial planning and life arrangements that work for you *together.* It’s a fools errand to think you have it all figured out by yourself and then demand that a self-made millionaire waltz in and agree to do everything your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will she also do the majority of cooking, cleaning and household chores? Because your budget doesn't allow for a cleaning service or much takeout/restaurants.

You guys are trying to bait me, but it's not going to work.

I'd expect we'd split cooking, laundry, etc. 50/50. Real cleaning we'll outsource - as frugal as I am, a monthly house cleaner is something I've always splurged on. Currently, it's only $90 for my condo and I know it will obviously be more in a house - we'll budget for that.

Regarding parenting, I do expect she'd take the lead there. Yes, if I'm bringing most of the money to the marriage, I'd expect her to contribute in other ways. But, primarily, I'd expect her to do the majority of the parenting because I would only be attracted in the first place to a woman who is nurturing and would enjoy taking care of the kid(s). Similarly, I'd expect the lawn mowing to fall 100/0 to me since that's traditionally a male activity.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We plan to FIRE at 50, when our sole child is through college. It's doable - key is to have fewer kids and manage your expectation that Early is 50, not 38.

+1000

Once you get your kids thru college (or at least into college with a fully funded 529) then it is much more reasonable to be able to FIRE/retire. That is a normal "retire early" plan. Main concerns at that point are health insurance (which would be 15K/year, down from 20-25K for family coverage), home costs (pay off mortgage and all you have is maintenance and Taxes/HOA) and food/utlities/extras you desire. At that point you don't have 1+ not launched kids that you are responsible for. I agree the key is to only have 1-2 kids. Cannot personally imagine college for 3-4+ kids (we make too much to get any aide), even with in-state options that's expensive

Plenty of people retire in their 50s/early once kids are launched (off your payroll). Your expenses go way down

Who said it's a law that you have to put your kids through traditional 4 year college and pay for everything? Majority of people don't even have this option. Guess what? Their kids still go to college. They take grants/loans and they also attend community college for 2 years saving tons of money. College courses are only specialized for 2 years. I don't get it, you push your kids to take AP classes and all that stuff that's supposed to transfer to college credits and they still need 4 years to get a degree in one major?

It's not the law, but OP will have difficulty finding a woman who wants to sign on for this level of denial just for the sake of OP's ultra-early retirement.

No. He won’t have any problems finding a woman. Most women prefer to stay home and not work when they are married. A FIRE husband is ideal because she won’t feel lonely at home.

Most women who do want to stay home with their kids would probably prefer not to have to save a million dollar by 30 so that their husband can similarly not work. They would probably also prefer to be able to occasionally splurge on new clothes, hair/beauty treatments etc as well as things for their children over having their husband home with them all day.

This is the most “sexually frustrated Potomac/McLean mommy tracking woman that hates their husband” post I’ve seen on this site. “Don’t you dare stop working, how will I afford my next season Prada glasses”

You seem to be missing the part that op is not only expecting to find a high earning spouse in their own right as well, but one who is also willing to live at home with their parents subsisting on ramen and living a spartan lifestyle so that they can have a million dollars saved by 30 at which point they get to quit work, have children, serve as the primary caregiver and continue to coupon clip while op sits around playing guitar. This isn’t a question of Prada glasses it’s about being able to just do normal things like get a basic hair cut/color a couple times a year, occasionally buy a new outfit or go out to dinner with friends without the pressure of needing to constantly be in the ultra frugal “FIRE” mindset,.

There’s a reason the FIRE movement skews heavily male it’s just not a very attractive vision of life for most women, especially high earners with far better options.

“Women be shopping”, the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will she also do the majority of cooking, cleaning and household chores? Because your budget doesn't allow for a cleaning service or much takeout/restaurants.

You guys are trying to bait me, but it's not going to work.

I'd expect we'd split cooking, laundry, etc. 50/50. Real cleaning we'll outsource - as frugal as I am, a monthly house cleaner is something I've always splurged on. Currently, it's only $90 for my condo and I know it will obviously be more in a house - we'll budget for that.

Regarding parenting, I do expect she'd take the lead there. Yes, if I'm bringing most of the money to the marriage, I'd expect her to contribute in other ways. But, primarily, I'd expect her to do the majority of the parenting because I would only be attracted in the first place to a woman who is nurturing and would enjoy taking care of the kid(s). Similarly, I'd expect the lawn mowing to fall 100/0 to me since that's traditionally a male activity.

Ahhhh, so now you're wanting traditional gender roles, but you also want her to have earned a lot of money. So the traditional roles only start when you want them to?

If you made (really, your parents partly gave you) more money, does that mean she gets less leisure time than you, forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to start meeting and dating actual women before you invent the perfect one in your mind. You have been so focused on your goals that you’ve lost touch with the real world.

Find love first, then find the financial planning and life arrangements that work for you *together.* It’s a fools errand to think you have it all figured out by yourself and then demand that a self-made millionaire waltz in and agree to do everything your way.

+1

Great advice.

Also, OP has a very rigid view of his future and his future spouse. Life just never works out like you plan it, especially when you insert another person into the mix. Maybe she will want to work at some point. Maybe they will both want to travel and need to find a way to pay for it. Maybe this fire Chick drives him crazy or vice versa. Or maybe he stops playing the guitar and chooses to volunteer.

I'll also add that you are passing up on a big opportunity if you don't explore your options overseas. You will likely choose to be single if you take this route because you'll be having so much fun. Cost of living is easily 50% less as well.

You need to go somewhere else to get better advice. Most of these women aren't offering constructive advice and are just gross. Maybe talk to other FIRE types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to start meeting and dating actual women before you invent the perfect one in your mind. You have been so focused on your goals that you’ve lost touch with the real world.

Find love first, then find the financial planning and life arrangements that work for you *together.* It’s a fools errand to think you have it all figured out by yourself and then demand that a self-made millionaire waltz in and agree to do everything your way.

I agree there would be some merit in doing this. That’s what prompted the original post in the first place – I’m starting to get a little bit restless.

However, I’m at the point where I’m really starting to see the benefits of compound interest – I can probably go from $1.1 million now to $2.3 million in five years. Assuming 10% growth (which obviously never happens linearly) and $75,000 in contributions per year (in Roth and taxable accounts, not pre-tax), I’ll be at $2 million in four years. I was giving myself an extra year just to be on the safe side.

From the point of view of retiring, there’s a world of difference between $2.3 million and $1.1 million, so I’m loathe to do anything to potentially interrupt the compounding at this point. It’s only 4-5 years and then I’ll have the rest of my life back. It seems reckless to interrupt the compounding at this point.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP sounds ASD and at his age any kids are highly likely to be ASD. My spouse and I spend close to $60K per year JUST on therapies for our high functioning ASD kids. OP please don’t do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to start meeting and dating actual women before you invent the perfect one in your mind. You have been so focused on your goals that you’ve lost touch with the real world.

Find love first, then find the financial planning and life arrangements that work for you *together.* It’s a fools errand to think you have it all figured out by yourself and then demand that a self-made millionaire waltz in and agree to do everything your way.

I agree there would be some merit in doing this. That’s what prompted the original post in the first place – I’m starting to get a little bit restless.

However, I’m at the point where I’m really starting to see the benefits of compound interest – I can probably go from $1.1 million now to $2.3 million in five years. Assuming 10% growth (which obviously never happens linearly) and $75,000 in contributions per year (in Roth and taxable accounts, not pre-tax), I’ll be at $2 million in four years. I was giving myself an extra year just to be on the safe side.

From the point of view of retiring, there’s a world of difference between $2.3 million and $1.1 million, so I’m loathe to do anything to potentially interrupt the compounding at this point. It’s only 4-5 years and then I’ll have the rest of my life back. It seems reckless to interrupt the compounding at this point.

Really perplexed why you cannot date and also have a job at the same time. Most people can do this.

[Anonymous]

It's equally reckless to delay dating and parenthood. What if you run out of time before you meet the right person?

I'm really not sure why you can't go on, say, one date every two weeks just to get started and practice relationship skills. FIRE women won't be expecting you to spend much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's equally reckless to delay dating and parenthood. What if you run out of time before you meet the right person?

I'm really not sure why you can't go on, say, one date every two weeks just to get started and practice relationship skills. FIRE women won't be expecting you to spend much.

Dating is expensive (both in terms of money and time)! The guys I know that are successful at it treat it like a part-time job.

Also, I think it’s going to be very difficult, if I do find the right person, to say, “Hey, I like you a lot. Let’s put a pin in this for five years—or tread water until then—and then we can move forward with our lives.” I think it just makes more sense to date when I can really commit to someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to start meeting and dating actual women before you invent the perfect one in your mind. You have been so focused on your goals that you’ve lost touch with the real world.

Find love first, then find the financial planning and life arrangements that work for you *together.* It’s a fools errand to think you have it all figured out by yourself and then demand that a self-made millionaire waltz in and agree to do everything your way.

I agree there would be some merit in doing this. That’s what prompted the original post in the first place – I’m starting to get a little bit restless.

However, I’m at the point where I’m really starting to see the benefits of compound interest – I can probably go from $1.1 million now to $2.3 million in five years. Assuming 10% growth (which obviously never happens linearly) and $75,000 in contributions per year (in Roth and taxable accounts, not pre-tax), I’ll be at $2 million in four years. I was giving myself an extra year just to be on the safe side.

From the point of view of retiring, there’s a world of difference between $2.3 million and $1.1 million, so I’m loathe to do anything to potentially interrupt the compounding at this point. It’s only 4-5 years and then I’ll have the rest of my life back. It seems reckless to interrupt the compounding at this point.

Are you saying dating is an interruption to your compounding?

OP - is it possible, and I ask this without judgment, that you are simply happy being single? You prefer the fantasy of a relationship to actually interacting with human women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The point is, OP, even if your math is right (which I doubt), the number of women who would sign on for this parenting and this lifestyle and a man your age is a very small percentage of the population. Women who want children tend not to FIRE this aggressively, if at all. Early-retired (aka unemployed) low-income men are not appealing to women-- you'll be hanging around all day wanting attention, and you don't make enough money for a fun travel lifestyle. So just sit at home and be on a tight budget in a blah area is your plan, make the kids be left out of everything they want to do, and rely on your wife for the social interaction and engagement that most people get from working. It's really unappealing! Women don't like this! Telling your family they can't have a nice house or travel, and telling your kids they can't do activities or go to a good college because you just don't wanna have a job, is not a recipe for family happiness.

It seems like you haven't had a lot of dating experience. Almost like for you, FIRE is an excuse to avoid dating, so you've constructed this incredibly improbable imaginable future wife instead. It's unlikely you'll be able to go straight from zero to successful marriage at 38 with no experience. Most people date and work on their relationship skills in preparation for marriage. It can be a good learning experience for both.

As a woman, I 100% agree with this statement. I don't want a man sitting at home doing nothing.

I wouldn't want a man or woman sitting home "doing nothing". Most STAHP I know (male or female) take on tons at home, that the Working Spouse does NOT do. But to just sit at home, doing nothing at age 35/40 would annoy most people