I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

They do the meet-ups with the other graduate programs at their school that are heavily gendered in the other direction--or are more balanced in gender.

In Boston, there are grad school meet-ups for within schools and across Harvard, MIT, BU, Tufts combined etc. I already had a partner, but there were so many people getting married across grad programs. There were definitely some people -- male and female--who had a secondary curriculum of finding a life partner during grad school. There were so many engagements and weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

The famous MRS degree.


Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

They do the meet-ups with the other graduate programs at their school that are heavily gendered in the other direction--or are more balanced in gender.

In Boston, there are grad school meet-ups for within schools and across Harvard, MIT, BU, Tufts combined etc. I already had a partner, but there were so many people getting married across grad programs. There were definitely some people -- male and female--who had a secondary curriculum of finding a life partner during grad school. There were so many engagements and weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

They do the meet-ups with the other graduate programs at their school that are heavily gendered in the other direction--or are more balanced in gender.

In Boston, there are grad school meet-ups for within schools and across Harvard, MIT, BU, Tufts combined etc. I already had a partner, but there were so many people getting married across grad programs. There were definitely some people -- male and female--who had a secondary curriculum of finding a life partner during grad school. There were so many engagements and weddings.

The famous MRS degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is only an obsession for a small slice of the UMC, who are concerned that their kids won't be able to maintain the same SES as them, if they can't get onto one of these top schools. The truly rich don't care too much, since they can either donate enough to their school of choice to get their kids admitted, or they're so rich that it doesn't really matter where their kids go to school (or even if they attend at all). The middle class and working class know these schools are out of reach, except for truly exceptional circumstances, so they don't even bother trying.

My wife and I have 3 Ivy league degrees between us, and it;s certainly helped our careers. But, unless something really exceptional happens in the next few years, our kids are likely going to end up at one of the second tier Virginia public universities. In some ways, it's a relief that we don't have to stress too much about it.

My spouse has an undergrad ivy degree and I have two undergrad degrees from a T10 school (non-Ivy), we both have masters from T20 (in T5 for CS/EE/STEM). Besides getting our first jobs out of undergrad because the company hired at our schools, we have neither ever used where we attended to get ahead, we have not needed to. What we have done on the job and the connections we built at the jobs is what got us to where we are. Also, at that first job, we worked alongside new hires earning the same as us who went to big state schools, small not well known privates, and other "elite schools".
Once you land your first job, the connections you make on the job typically go way farther than any connections from college.

this is true, but your Ivy degree initially opened the door wider and faster than for those who went to lesser schools.

I say this as someone who went to no name u and did end up next to Ivy type colleagues, but it took me a lot longer to get there.

[Anonymous]

The only parents who can sincerely say that have a kid at DeVry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

Ummm no. That really isn't the case.

It doesn't sound like you are familiar with what it's like to have a career in NYC or Chicago at a prestigious company. Try applying to Goldman Sachs or McKinsey from Towson and see if they talk to you.

If your dream is to take over your parent's business, I'd suggest focusing on the classes you get access to rather than the name. If you have to make it on your own and want doors to open, you need a school with a great reputation and a solid alumni network.

Also, I'm not shelling out $80,000+ for my kid to go somewhere nobody has ever heard of. I don't think you need to go to a top school to be successful, but it helps.

I’d characterize McKinsey and to a lesser extent GS as “infamous” rather than prestigious. I’d be very disappointed if my kid wanted to work at either.

[Anonymous]

A Google search of Towson and Goldman Sachs brings up lots of LinkedIn profiles of Towson alums. It sounds like PP may not be very familiar with what it’s like to have a career with a prestigious company in the 21st century.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

LOL. 0% of college students in 2023 “prioritize meeting a spouse in college.” Are you Amish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If school doesn’t matter, why do so many privileged families spend a fortune trying to buy a home in a good school pyramid? College is just another school.

Because a bad school pyramid nowadays means dangerous conditions and disruptive behavior that impedes learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

LOL. 0% of college students in 2023 “prioritize meeting a spouse in college.” Are you Amish?

You are rude & wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A Google search of Towson and Goldman Sachs brings up lots of LinkedIn profiles of Towson alums. It sounds like PP may not be very familiar with what it’s like to have a career with a prestigious company in the 21st century.

I use LinkedIn for the same purpose, just out of curiosity mostly. Sometimes the college I'm interested in doesn't come up, but another similar one does. If there's no one from Towson, but there is someone from Shippensburg, it shows the same thing. I also like the lists on the website below, which I cite on DCUM pretty frequently. They show where people at certain companies went for undergrad. This list shows Wall Street company leadership and where they went to college, and it includes Goldman Sachs (+ others) which has a CEO from Hamilton, and other leaders from University of Washington and George Washington and Yeshiva. Not surprisingly, there are also 3 from Middlebury, Stanford and Princeton, too.

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/wall-street/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

Well I'm sure you take time even for selecting a pair of sneakers.
So giving it a time and thoughts for selecting a college make perfect sense.
Of course it matters.

Ranking does not matter. What matters is that it's a great fit for your kid. What matters is the specific major (or possible majors) your kid is interested in. Kids who are at a school that is a fit for their learning style, who quickly develop a great group of friends and "colleagues within their areas of interest" do far better in college than kids who are at a school where they just go to class and try to get good grades, without any outside learning, socializing, learning for the sake of just learning discussions, etc.

So yes, spend time but put that time into finding the right place for your kid. A school ranked #100 that has smaller class sizes, allows your kid to do meaningful research for 2-3 years of undergrad, that is collaborative so your kid learns technical skills/academics as well as working together on projects, and has the right clubs/extras to allow your kid to get internships and opportunities to learn is worth more than a school ranked #20 that is cut throat and your kid will never be able to do research or interact with the professors.

Mostly agreed that fit is very important, field of study is very important, class size, outcome, etc. etc.
My kid picked a lower ranked school for fit and etc.
However ranking/prestige is one of the important factors as well. It also translates to peer quality which is another important factor.
Combination of all these things together matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

LOL. 0% of college students in 2023 “prioritize meeting a spouse in college.” Are you Amish?

If you’re a young woman, you ought to. Much harder after you graduate, unless you go to grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

They do the meet-ups with the other graduate programs at their school that are heavily gendered in the other direction--or are more balanced in gender.

In Boston, there are grad school meet-ups for within schools and across Harvard, MIT, BU, Tufts combined etc. I already had a partner, but there were so many people getting married across grad programs. There were definitely some people -- male and female--who had a secondary curriculum of finding a life partner during grad school. There were so many engagements and weddings.

I can just imagine Harvard haughtily telling Tufts and BU “oh yes that was my safety school”.

[Anonymous]

Duh. Of course it matters. But getting in and paying for those elite colleges is just not going to happen for most.