I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes

[Anonymous]

We dropped the requirement to have a college degree most jobs at work.

Sure it is great bragging rights. But the admission process is crooked. Means very little you got in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I agree with this for kids who are undecided or have no real future plans to follow a particular interest in a major of study. Some schools have better programs than others in particular majors, obviously. I always tell my kids that most people care most about where you get your graduate degree, or if you even have one. I know a number of people who went to ivys and didn’t get grad degrees and they are not as successful as those I know from lesser undergrads with great grad degrees. Undergrad only counts for so much no matter where you go and thankfully there are so many good options for undergrad in this country and the wider world.

No need to spend more $$ and time when you have solid undergrad degree.

There is if you want to advance in most careers that expect or require advanced degrees…

No for the most careers.
People care less about where you got your graduate degree.
Graduate schools are easier to get in, and there are so many money grab BS graduate programs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I agree with this for kids who are undecided or have no real future plans to follow a particular interest in a major of study. Some schools have better programs than others in particular majors, obviously. I always tell my kids that most people care most about where you get your graduate degree, or if you even have one. I know a number of people who went to ivys and didn’t get grad degrees and they are not as successful as those I know from lesser undergrads with great grad degrees. Undergrad only counts for so much no matter where you go and thankfully there are so many good options for undergrad in this country and the wider world.

No need to spend more $$ and time when you have solid undergrad degree.

There is if you want to advance in most careers that expect or require advanced degrees…

No for the most careers.
People care less about where you got your graduate degree.
Graduate schools are easier to get in, and there are so many money grab BS graduate programs

We aren’t talking about the same kind of degrees. I agree that online grad programs are not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I agree with this for kids who are undecided or have no real future plans to follow a particular interest in a major of study. Some schools have better programs than others in particular majors, obviously. I always tell my kids that most people care most about where you get your graduate degree, or if you even have one. I know a number of people who went to ivys and didn’t get grad degrees and they are not as successful as those I know from lesser undergrads with great grad degrees. Undergrad only counts for so much no matter where you go and thankfully there are so many good options for undergrad in this country and the wider world.

No need to spend more $$ and time when you have solid undergrad degree.

There is if you want to advance in most careers that expect or require advanced degrees…

No for the most careers.
People care less about where you got your graduate degree.
Graduate schools are easier to get in, and there are so many money grab BS graduate programs

We aren’t talking about the same kind of degrees. I agree that online grad programs are not the same thing.

Nope in general.
I would like my kid to have a good solid undergrad degree first and worry about grad school later.

What career and degree are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Coming in at the end here, but my kid wants a specific kind of military career. It matters where he goes. Not as much as he thinks, but it does matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

Well I'm sure you take time even for selecting a pair of sneakers.
So giving it a time and thoughts for selecting a college make perfect sense.
Of course it matters.

Ranking does not matter. What matters is that it's a great fit for your kid. What matters is the specific major (or possible majors) your kid is interested in. Kids who are at a school that is a fit for their learning style, who quickly develop a great group of friends and "colleagues within their areas of interest" do far better in college than kids who are at a school where they just go to class and try to get good grades, without any outside learning, socializing, learning for the sake of just learning discussions, etc.

So yes, spend time but put that time into finding the right place for your kid. A school ranked #100 that has smaller class sizes, allows your kid to do meaningful research for 2-3 years of undergrad, that is collaborative so your kid learns technical skills/academics as well as working together on projects, and has the right clubs/extras to allow your kid to get internships and opportunities to learn is worth more than a school ranked #20 that is cut throat and your kid will never be able to do research or interact with the professors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

NP--Wow, that's some pretty mid-20th century thinking there. I mean yes, it's nice to figure these things out early if it happens, but feeling rushed is not a good way to make decisions. I know many very happy couples that met online, although not through Tindr if that's what you're referencing.

+1

Or you meet someone thru your place of employment, or thru friends from work and elsewhere in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.

+1000

Anyone who's in denial about the fact that where you go to college matters is just delusional. There was that study showing that the top 1% is disproportionately dominated by elite colleges.

Going to an elite college matters, full stop

You are confusing causation with correlation.

UMC connected white kids who end up at top SLACs and universities do well b/c of their connections in their family, friend group and hometowns. They may go to Amherst but could have done just as well at UMass.

A first gen kid, an URM kid is just not going to have that kind of juice simply by getting a degree from Brown! Or wherever. That same kid will never have the social capital and connections that the UMC white kid will have.

Save your money for grad school -- undergrad (outside of MIT and maybe Harvard) isn't where it's at.

+1

Plus, what the PP states is false. The top 1% is NOT dominated by people from T20 schools. Neither are C Suites at companies. They are dominated by people who have the same motivation, drive and ambition---some smartly went to state U's because that was the most affordable for them or to a smaller LAC/private college that gave excellent merit and made it affordable for them. Those with that drive and determination almost always will succeed and excel no matter where they go.

Likewise, an unmotivated, smart kid doesn't miraculously become a highly driven person after 4 years at Harvard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your grad degree absolutely matters from where. Undergrad, as long as it was decent you are good to go. Have fun!

Yeeeaaaah...no. Grad degree doesn't matter so much, either. It's what you make of it.

Wrong. Grad degree institution absolutely matters for PhD, JD, MBA.

What evidence do you have to support that? There are people in leadership positions and top firms everywhere with degrees from less selective grad schools. The only reason the most selective institutions are so highly represented is because they get first pick of the top undergrad students, just like the reason elite undergrad schools are so highly represented is b/c they get first pick of top hs students.

Stop feeding the false narrative that is driving much of the anxiety students are feeling these days.

Well for certain career paths, it most certainly does matter where you go to grad school.

Want to venture into Venture capital---there are a few select places for MBAs, if you don't get one from there it will be challenging to get in. Just go look at VC firms and see their resumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We dropped the requirement to have a college degree most jobs at work.

Sure it is great bragging rights. But the admission process is crooked. Means very little you got in.

Keep telling yourself that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

They do the meet-ups with the other graduate programs at their school that are heavily gendered in the other direction--or are more balanced in gender.

[Anonymous]

Are you really stressing about your DC finding an appropriate mate? I met mine in a bar 25 years ago and I would say it worked out pretty well.

If that's what you're stressed about, sounds like either things are otherwise under control or you're utterly batsh*t nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several female friends who went to Harvard undergrad.

All got great jobs out of college: venture capitalist, editor at a publishing house, microfinance, investment banking. One went on to Harvard Law then was an associate at a top NYC firm.
Then they had kids....

ALL of them have mommy tracked themselves if they stayed in the same field. One completely changed careers to something more family friendly. Two aren't even working any more because of family needs.

My point is, yes, going to a top school can set you up for a great career but you may not want to stay there. All of those women are exactly where many other moms have ended up, despite the college they attended.

So…are you basically saying women for the most part still go to college for their MRS degree? Sure sounds like it.

Smart and mature young men and women prioritize meeting a spouse in college. Dating around after college on apps full of random weirdos is frankly disgusting. Quickly settling down in your 20s should be emphasized by all parents.

Not anymore. Kids graduate at 21 or 22 then they go to graduate school. Nobody is meeting spouses in college anymore.

Mature young people who prioritize getting married meet in graduate school.

What are people who go to graduate school in a heavily gendered field supposed to do? Hit the apps?

Maybe rethink your life strategy. Your career prospects in that field are questionable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is only an obsession for a small slice of the UMC, who are concerned that their kids won't be able to maintain the same SES as them, if they can't get onto one of these top schools. The truly rich don't care too much, since they can either donate enough to their school of choice to get their kids admitted, or they're so rich that it doesn't really matter where their kids go to school (or even if they attend at all). The middle class and working class know these schools are out of reach, except for truly exceptional circumstances, so they don't even bother trying.

My wife and I have 3 Ivy league degrees between us, and it;s certainly helped our careers. But, unless something really exceptional happens in the next few years, our kids are likely going to end up at one of the second tier Virginia public universities. In some ways, it's a relief that we don't have to stress too much about it.

My spouse has an undergrad ivy degree and I have two undergrad degrees from a T10 school (non-Ivy), we both have masters from T20 (in T5 for CS/EE/STEM). Besides getting our first jobs out of undergrad because the company hired at our schools, we have neither ever used where we attended to get ahead, we have not needed to. What we have done on the job and the connections we built at the jobs is what got us to where we are. Also, at that first job, we worked alongside new hires earning the same as us who went to big state schools, small not well known privates, and other "elite schools".
Once you land your first job, the connections you make on the job typically go way farther than any connections from college.