Does anyone on Capitol Hill send their kid to an elementary in upper NW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound.

We're in DC and an acquaintance once bemoaned the fact that they had to move out to the suburbs years ago, when their kids were toddlers. But, you know, they HAD to, because of the schools. Our children, who we are apparently sacrificing by sending to school in DC, were standing a few feet away from us.

[Anonymous]

Even worse, when the kids leaving a school have heard their parents talk about it and start telling kids at the school they are leaving that their school is bad. Explaining that one to my kiddos was fun ....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound.

We're in DC and an acquaintance once bemoaned the fact that they had to move out to the suburbs years ago, when their kids were toddlers. But, you know, they HAD to, because of the schools. Our children, who we are apparently sacrificing by sending to school in DC, were standing a few feet away from us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

I am not going to go back and re read every post but I think you’re right. I personally don’t judge people for going to their inbound. If your school is working for you/your kid, especially if it’s your inbound- excellent. But I think the entire point of this thread was people who are choosing discomfort (long drives) so they can send their kids elsewhere.

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound. I would be shocked if I heard someone say that anyway. But what I have heard many times is people virtue signaling by judging those who choose to send their kids to charters. I’ve certainly had the deranged neighbor tell me how I’m racist or something (Always a white lady btw) for not choosing our inbound.

In an ideal world all the schools would be considered great and people would spend less energy judging the choices you make about your kids.

Your neighbor is upset with you because she perceives your choice to send your child to a charter as directly impacting the quality of the IB school, and thus the quality of options available to her. It's not judgment from a neutral place, it's coming from an acknowledgment that choices are interconnected.

I'm not saying it's okay for her to express her anger with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or to claim that your choice of school is driven by anything other than your interest in your child's education. Not endorsing that. But surely you understand that when people express frustration with IB families who go elsewhere, it is largely driven by a recognition that where your neighbors send their kids to school impacts the quality of the IB school and therefore impacts you?

I think the PP is very right that often people see implied judgment in the choice to send your kids IB. And I also think you are right that people do judge parents who send their kids to charters. But what is missing is the understanding that this judgment is not coming from this neutral place where you are just looking at someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you and passing judgment. People in DC judge each others school choices because of the way those choices impact schools and the community. I think we should all be more upfront about that because it's the elephant in the room a lot of the time.

(We don't go to our IB school, by the way. But I don't get upset when neighbors sometimes act judgmental towards us for this choice because I fully understand where that is coming from, and in fact I also felt that way at times when we WERE at the IB school. All compounded by the fact that often the person who is judging you is someone who tried to get a lottery seat at the school your kids do attend, but was not as lucky as you. These are all things you need to remember and to try to have empathy when you encounter these conversations.)

Well in our case it was our neighborhood crazy white savior who called us, a brown family, racist for choosing a bilingual charter so our kids could learn our heritage language. Think Joe Weedon sanctimommy type.

Our local elementary is oversubscribed. I understand that she might feel insecure, but as an adult you learn to not make others pay for your insecurities.

And no i don’t think that I am costing our inbound school anything by going to a charter school. Our middle school and high school, Eliot and Eastern, have horrendous track records when it comes to special needs kids. Our crazy neighbor has no idea of what special education is like for brown boys. And yet she feels okay to march her ugly bow legs over to our house and point fingers when she doesn’t understand. I will protect the privacy of my kids and I don’t need to explain myself to that thing, but I do think that people should be left alone to make choices for their kids. Not everyone is the same. Nor do I understand shaming people who attend their inbound!

ugggg sorry to say I 100% believe you.

Thanks. I wish it didn’t happen, but it 100% did.

I believe it because I too have seen these women in action.

[Anonymous]

that is a next-level crazy neighbor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

I am not going to go back and re read every post but I think you’re right. I personally don’t judge people for going to their inbound. If your school is working for you/your kid, especially if it’s your inbound- excellent. But I think the entire point of this thread was people who are choosing discomfort (long drives) so they can send their kids elsewhere.

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound. I would be shocked if I heard someone say that anyway. But what I have heard many times is people virtue signaling by judging those who choose to send their kids to charters. I’ve certainly had the deranged neighbor tell me how I’m racist or something (Always a white lady btw) for not choosing our inbound.

In an ideal world all the schools would be considered great and people would spend less energy judging the choices you make about your kids.

Your neighbor is upset with you because she perceives your choice to send your child to a charter as directly impacting the quality of the IB school, and thus the quality of options available to her. It's not judgment from a neutral place, it's coming from an acknowledgment that choices are interconnected.

I'm not saying it's okay for her to express her anger with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or to claim that your choice of school is driven by anything other than your interest in your child's education. Not endorsing that. But surely you understand that when people express frustration with IB families who go elsewhere, it is largely driven by a recognition that where your neighbors send their kids to school impacts the quality of the IB school and therefore impacts you?

I think the PP is very right that often people see implied judgment in the choice to send your kids IB. And I also think you are right that people do judge parents who send their kids to charters. But what is missing is the understanding that this judgment is not coming from this neutral place where you are just looking at someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you and passing judgment. People in DC judge each others school choices because of the way those choices impact schools and the community. I think we should all be more upfront about that because it's the elephant in the room a lot of the time.

(We don't go to our IB school, by the way. But I don't get upset when neighbors sometimes act judgmental towards us for this choice because I fully understand where that is coming from, and in fact I also felt that way at times when we WERE at the IB school. All compounded by the fact that often the person who is judging you is someone who tried to get a lottery seat at the school your kids do attend, but was not as lucky as you. These are all things you need to remember and to try to have empathy when you encounter these conversations.)

You seem reasonable and thoughtful. But I fundamentally disagree with the premise that choosing an option that public policy makers decided was in the best interest of the system is somehow damaging to others. If people don't like kids opting for charters or NW OOB schools then they should take that up with the Council and mayor. I also think calling what people are feeling "implied judgment" gives those thin skinned martyrs a free pass. Someone expressing their preference or telling you what they did or why is not attacking anyone. We've hit a point where anyone who doesn't stroke hair and tell people how smart and pretty and handsome they are is committing an assault. That's nonsense. If someone telling you what they chose or why makes you feel uncomfortable or judged the the issue is with you, not them. Furthermore, judge me! I don't give a cr*p. I make the best choice for me and my family. I will listen to reasoned thoughts on topics on which I may disagree, but I honestly don't care if you approve. I have a mom and dad. And I don't care what they think either.

[Anonymous]

i dont judge people for choosing a charter over their in-bound but i dont know how you can argue that neighborhood schools w strong neighborhood buy-in dont overall do better than neighborhood schools that lack neighborhood support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

I am not going to go back and re read every post but I think you’re right. I personally don’t judge people for going to their inbound. If your school is working for you/your kid, especially if it’s your inbound- excellent. But I think the entire point of this thread was people who are choosing discomfort (long drives) so they can send their kids elsewhere.

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound. I would be shocked if I heard someone say that anyway. But what I have heard many times is people virtue signaling by judging those who choose to send their kids to charters. I’ve certainly had the deranged neighbor tell me how I’m racist or something (Always a white lady btw) for not choosing our inbound.

In an ideal world all the schools would be considered great and people would spend less energy judging the choices you make about your kids.

Your neighbor is upset with you because she perceives your choice to send your child to a charter as directly impacting the quality of the IB school, and thus the quality of options available to her. It's not judgment from a neutral place, it's coming from an acknowledgment that choices are interconnected.

I'm not saying it's okay for her to express her anger with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or to claim that your choice of school is driven by anything other than your interest in your child's education. Not endorsing that. But surely you understand that when people express frustration with IB families who go elsewhere, it is largely driven by a recognition that where your neighbors send their kids to school impacts the quality of the IB school and therefore impacts you?

I think the PP is very right that often people see implied judgment in the choice to send your kids IB. And I also think you are right that people do judge parents who send their kids to charters. But what is missing is the understanding that this judgment is not coming from this neutral place where you are just looking at someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you and passing judgment. People in DC judge each others school choices because of the way those choices impact schools and the community. I think we should all be more upfront about that because it's the elephant in the room a lot of the time.

(We don't go to our IB school, by the way. But I don't get upset when neighbors sometimes act judgmental towards us for this choice because I fully understand where that is coming from, and in fact I also felt that way at times when we WERE at the IB school. All compounded by the fact that often the person who is judging you is someone who tried to get a lottery seat at the school your kids do attend, but was not as lucky as you. These are all things you need to remember and to try to have empathy when you encounter these conversations.)

Well in our case it was our neighborhood crazy white savior who called us, a brown family, racist for choosing a bilingual charter so our kids could learn our heritage language. Think Joe Weedon sanctimommy type.

Our local elementary is oversubscribed. I understand that she might feel insecure, but as an adult you learn to not make others pay for your insecurities.

And no i don’t think that I am costing our inbound school anything by going to a charter school. Our middle school and high school, Eliot and Eastern, have horrendous track records when it comes to special needs kids. Our crazy neighbor has no idea of what special education is like for brown boys. And yet she feels okay to march her ugly bow legs over to our house and point fingers when she doesn’t understand. I will protect the privacy of my kids and I don’t need to explain myself to that thing, but I do think that people should be left alone to make choices for their kids. Not everyone is the same. Nor do I understand shaming people who attend their inbound!

ugggg sorry to say I 100% believe you.

Thanks. I wish it didn’t happen, but it 100% did.

I believe you, but this is obviously an outlier. There is next to zero pressure on the Hill to send your kid to Eastern. I send my kids to my local DCPS (zoned for SH/Eastern) and I’ve never heard anyone seriously discuss it as an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i dont judge people for choosing a charter over their in-bound but i dont know how you can argue that neighborhood schools w strong neighborhood buy-in dont overall do better than neighborhood schools that lack neighborhood support

No one, ever, anywhere on Earth argued that. The choice facing families is not one of the two you've put forth as a false choice. It is local IB school vs all other options (charters, NW oob ES, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

I am not going to go back and re read every post but I think you’re right. I personally don’t judge people for going to their inbound. If your school is working for you/your kid, especially if it’s your inbound- excellent. But I think the entire point of this thread was people who are choosing discomfort (long drives) so they can send their kids elsewhere.

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound. I would be shocked if I heard someone say that anyway. But what I have heard many times is people virtue signaling by judging those who choose to send their kids to charters. I’ve certainly had the deranged neighbor tell me how I’m racist or something (Always a white lady btw) for not choosing our inbound.

In an ideal world all the schools would be considered great and people would spend less energy judging the choices you make about your kids.

Your neighbor is upset with you because she perceives your choice to send your child to a charter as directly impacting the quality of the IB school, and thus the quality of options available to her. It's not judgment from a neutral place, it's coming from an acknowledgment that choices are interconnected.

I'm not saying it's okay for her to express her anger with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or to claim that your choice of school is driven by anything other than your interest in your child's education. Not endorsing that. But surely you understand that when people express frustration with IB families who go elsewhere, it is largely driven by a recognition that where your neighbors send their kids to school impacts the quality of the IB school and therefore impacts you?

I think the PP is very right that often people see implied judgment in the choice to send your kids IB. And I also think you are right that people do judge parents who send their kids to charters. But what is missing is the understanding that this judgment is not coming from this neutral place where you are just looking at someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you and passing judgment. People in DC judge each others school choices because of the way those choices impact schools and the community. I think we should all be more upfront about that because it's the elephant in the room a lot of the time.

(We don't go to our IB school, by the way. But I don't get upset when neighbors sometimes act judgmental towards us for this choice because I fully understand where that is coming from, and in fact I also felt that way at times when we WERE at the IB school. All compounded by the fact that often the person who is judging you is someone who tried to get a lottery seat at the school your kids do attend, but was not as lucky as you. These are all things you need to remember and to try to have empathy when you encounter these conversations.)

Well in our case it was our neighborhood crazy white savior who called us, a brown family, racist for choosing a bilingual charter so our kids could learn our heritage language. Think Joe Weedon sanctimommy type.

Our local elementary is oversubscribed. I understand that she might feel insecure, but as an adult you learn to not make others pay for your insecurities.

And no i don’t think that I am costing our inbound school anything by going to a charter school. Our middle school and high school, Eliot and Eastern, have horrendous track records when it comes to special needs kids. Our crazy neighbor has no idea of what special education is like for brown boys. And yet she feels okay to march her ugly bow legs over to our house and point fingers when she doesn’t understand. I will protect the privacy of my kids and I don’t need to explain myself to that thing, but I do think that people should be left alone to make choices for their kids. Not everyone is the same. Nor do I understand shaming people who attend their inbound!

ugggg sorry to say I 100% believe you.

Thanks. I wish it didn’t happen, but it 100% did.

I believe you, but this is obviously an outlier. There is next to zero pressure on the Hill to send your kid to Eastern. I send my kids to my local DCPS (zoned for SH/Eastern) and I’ve never heard anyone seriously discuss it as an option.

Not Eastern, but yes EH and SH. There’s probably pressure campaigns for Miner, JOW, and Tyler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound.

We're in DC and an acquaintance once bemoaned the fact that they had to move out to the suburbs years ago, when their kids were toddlers. But, you know, they HAD to, because of the schools. Our children, who we are apparently sacrificing by sending to school in DC, were standing a few feet away from us.

Same, and it’s happened to me several times, but it’s always from people who know nothing about the neighborhood schools/just have “city = bad, must run to suburbs as soon as we get pregnant” mentality. It comes from a place of ignorance, and I try not to put too much stock into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

I am not going to go back and re read every post but I think you’re right. I personally don’t judge people for going to their inbound. If your school is working for you/your kid, especially if it’s your inbound- excellent. But I think the entire point of this thread was people who are choosing discomfort (long drives) so they can send their kids elsewhere.

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound. I would be shocked if I heard someone say that anyway. But what I have heard many times is people virtue signaling by judging those who choose to send their kids to charters. I’ve certainly had the deranged neighbor tell me how I’m racist or something (Always a white lady btw) for not choosing our inbound.

In an ideal world all the schools would be considered great and people would spend less energy judging the choices you make about your kids.

Your neighbor is upset with you because she perceives your choice to send your child to a charter as directly impacting the quality of the IB school, and thus the quality of options available to her. It's not judgment from a neutral place, it's coming from an acknowledgment that choices are interconnected.

I'm not saying it's okay for her to express her anger with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or to claim that your choice of school is driven by anything other than your interest in your child's education. Not endorsing that. But surely you understand that when people express frustration with IB families who go elsewhere, it is largely driven by a recognition that where your neighbors send their kids to school impacts the quality of the IB school and therefore impacts you?

I think the PP is very right that often people see implied judgment in the choice to send your kids IB. And I also think you are right that people do judge parents who send their kids to charters. But what is missing is the understanding that this judgment is not coming from this neutral place where you are just looking at someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you and passing judgment. People in DC judge each others school choices because of the way those choices impact schools and the community. I think we should all be more upfront about that because it's the elephant in the room a lot of the time.

(We don't go to our IB school, by the way. But I don't get upset when neighbors sometimes act judgmental towards us for this choice because I fully understand where that is coming from, and in fact I also felt that way at times when we WERE at the IB school. All compounded by the fact that often the person who is judging you is someone who tried to get a lottery seat at the school your kids do attend, but was not as lucky as you. These are all things you need to remember and to try to have empathy when you encounter these conversations.)

Well in our case it was our neighborhood crazy white savior who called us, a brown family, racist for choosing a bilingual charter so our kids could learn our heritage language. Think Joe Weedon sanctimommy type.

Our local elementary is oversubscribed. I understand that she might feel insecure, but as an adult you learn to not make others pay for your insecurities.

And no i don’t think that I am costing our inbound school anything by going to a charter school. Our middle school and high school, Eliot and Eastern, have horrendous track records when it comes to special needs kids. Our crazy neighbor has no idea of what special education is like for brown boys. And yet she feels okay to march her ugly bow legs over to our house and point fingers when she doesn’t understand. I will protect the privacy of my kids and I don’t need to explain myself to that thing, but I do think that people should be left alone to make choices for their kids. Not everyone is the same. Nor do I understand shaming people who attend their inbound!

ugggg sorry to say I 100% believe you.

Thanks. I wish it didn’t happen, but it 100% did.

I believe you, but this is obviously an outlier. There is next to zero pressure on the Hill to send your kid to Eastern. I send my kids to my local DCPS (zoned for SH/Eastern) and I’ve never heard anyone seriously discuss it as an option.

Not Eastern, but yes EH and SH. There’s probably pressure campaigns for Miner, JOW, and Tyler.

But curiously, not at Watkins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound.

We're in DC and an acquaintance once bemoaned the fact that they had to move out to the suburbs years ago, when their kids were toddlers. But, you know, they HAD to, because of the schools. Our children, who we are apparently sacrificing by sending to school in DC, were standing a few feet away from us.

Same, and it’s happened to me several times, but it’s always from people who know nothing about the neighborhood schools/just have “city = bad, must run to suburbs as soon as we get pregnant” mentality. It comes from a place of ignorance, and I try not to put too much stock into it.

When I think about the amount of time I've spent learning about DC schools.....I don't blame anyone for opting out of that and just moving somewhere where their neighbors actually send their kids to the local public school. It's not a big leap from "no one here sends their kids to the neighborhood school" to "the schools here are not good."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

I am not going to go back and re read every post but I think you’re right. I personally don’t judge people for going to their inbound. If your school is working for you/your kid, especially if it’s your inbound- excellent. But I think the entire point of this thread was people who are choosing discomfort (long drives) so they can send their kids elsewhere.

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound. I would be shocked if I heard someone say that anyway. But what I have heard many times is people virtue signaling by judging those who choose to send their kids to charters. I’ve certainly had the deranged neighbor tell me how I’m racist or something (Always a white lady btw) for not choosing our inbound.

In an ideal world all the schools would be considered great and people would spend less energy judging the choices you make about your kids.

Your neighbor is upset with you because she perceives your choice to send your child to a charter as directly impacting the quality of the IB school, and thus the quality of options available to her. It's not judgment from a neutral place, it's coming from an acknowledgment that choices are interconnected.

I'm not saying it's okay for her to express her anger with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or to claim that your choice of school is driven by anything other than your interest in your child's education. Not endorsing that. But surely you understand that when people express frustration with IB families who go elsewhere, it is largely driven by a recognition that where your neighbors send their kids to school impacts the quality of the IB school and therefore impacts you?

I think the PP is very right that often people see implied judgment in the choice to send your kids IB. And I also think you are right that people do judge parents who send their kids to charters. But what is missing is the understanding that this judgment is not coming from this neutral place where you are just looking at someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you and passing judgment. People in DC judge each others school choices because of the way those choices impact schools and the community. I think we should all be more upfront about that because it's the elephant in the room a lot of the time.

(We don't go to our IB school, by the way. But I don't get upset when neighbors sometimes act judgmental towards us for this choice because I fully understand where that is coming from, and in fact I also felt that way at times when we WERE at the IB school. All compounded by the fact that often the person who is judging you is someone who tried to get a lottery seat at the school your kids do attend, but was not as lucky as you. These are all things you need to remember and to try to have empathy when you encounter these conversations.)

Well in our case it was our neighborhood crazy white savior who called us, a brown family, racist for choosing a bilingual charter so our kids could learn our heritage language. Think Joe Weedon sanctimommy type.

Our local elementary is oversubscribed. I understand that she might feel insecure, but as an adult you learn to not make others pay for your insecurities.

And no i don’t think that I am costing our inbound school anything by going to a charter school. Our middle school and high school, Eliot and Eastern, have horrendous track records when it comes to special needs kids. Our crazy neighbor has no idea of what special education is like for brown boys. And yet she feels okay to march her ugly bow legs over to our house and point fingers when she doesn’t understand. I will protect the privacy of my kids and I don’t need to explain myself to that thing, but I do think that people should be left alone to make choices for their kids. Not everyone is the same. Nor do I understand shaming people who attend their inbound!

ugggg sorry to say I 100% believe you.

Thanks. I wish it didn’t happen, but it 100% did.

I believe you, but this is obviously an outlier. There is next to zero pressure on the Hill to send your kid to Eastern. I send my kids to my local DCPS (zoned for SH/Eastern) and I’ve never heard anyone seriously discuss it as an option.

Not Eastern, but yes EH and SH. There’s probably pressure campaigns for Miner, JOW, and Tyler.

Completely there are campaigns for EH and SH. When we were at Miner, it didn’t have its act together enough for guilt trips. Everyone minus a tiny handful of involved parents were looking to leave. Not sure if that’s changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound.

We're in DC and an acquaintance once bemoaned the fact that they had to move out to the suburbs years ago, when their kids were toddlers. But, you know, they HAD to, because of the schools. Our children, who we are apparently sacrificing by sending to school in DC, were standing a few feet away from us.

Same, and it’s happened to me several times, but it’s always from people who know nothing about the neighborhood schools/just have “city = bad, must run to suburbs as soon as we get pregnant” mentality. It comes from a place of ignorance, and I try not to put too much stock into it.

When I think about the amount of time I've spent learning about DC schools.....I don't blame anyone for opting out of that and just moving somewhere where their neighbors actually send their kids to the local public school. It's not a big leap from "no one here sends their kids to the neighborhood school" to "the schools here are not good."

Except there are many instances where “no one sends their kids to the neighborhood school” isn’t true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure Eastern and SH/EH work great for some parents.

The same cannot be said for black and Hispanic kids, especially those in sped.

I’m happy for all of us when local schools work out, but I find it disgusting when loudmouthed parents try to shame others for making different choices.

This happened to me with my kids, and I was so disgusted by the blatant clout seeking behavior of my neighbor. Make your school choices on behalf of your kids, not yourself.

I haven’t seen any posts in this thread shaming anyone for their school choices, so I’m not sure why you brought this up here in particular.

In fact, most of the shaming I see on DCUM in general tends to be in the opposite direction, with parents who didn’t choose their in-bound school shaming those of us who did. For example, some say (or strongly imply) that we don’t care as much about our education, that our kids must not be as high achieving as theirs, etc.

That’s the kind of crap I am “disgusted” by.

You've identified a fundamental truth on DCUM: Posters who lecture others about the "wrongness" of their choices who play the martyr card whenever anyone dares express they like a school the DCUM Martyr Police sh*t upon. In their worlds, saying "I chose my IB MS and I like it" is somehow interpreted as "pressuring them" or 'being high and mighty". I haven't seen anyone on this thread judge anyone else for choosing a charter or private school. I have seen multiple instances of people like the poster to whom you responded excoriating people for daring to suggest they like their IB school and/or that people might want to give them a chance.

-Signed
Someone who sent their kids to charters but doesn't begrudge or judge parents who made a different choice

Also in real life I think no one would dare to tell anyone they’re making a poor choice in sending their kids to their inbound.

We're in DC and an acquaintance once bemoaned the fact that they had to move out to the suburbs years ago, when their kids were toddlers. But, you know, they HAD to, because of the schools. Our children, who we are apparently sacrificing by sending to school in DC, were standing a few feet away from us.

Same, and it’s happened to me several times, but it’s always from people who know nothing about the neighborhood schools/just have “city = bad, must run to suburbs as soon as we get pregnant” mentality. It comes from a place of ignorance, and I try not to put too much stock into it.

When I think about the amount of time I've spent learning about DC schools.....I don't blame anyone for opting out of that and just moving somewhere where their neighbors actually send their kids to the local public school. It's not a big leap from "no one here sends their kids to the neighborhood school" to "the schools here are not good."

Except there are many instances where “no one sends their kids to the neighborhood school” isn’t true.

Not for HS if you're not zoned for JR.