Do People in General Preferred Girls over Boys?

[Anonymous]

Recently I have noticed that people act almost disgusted with our kids (boys), Okay disgusted might be over stated but they have this look of "OMG...". My boys are active and normal kids and they are loud at times...but
I sure don't like those looks people have on their faces....Am I the only person feel this way???

Wow, it can be very discouraging in some sense. I mean I don't expect people to act like they like them but neutral would be nice!

[Anonymous]

I have a nephew the same age as my daughter, and he came to visit this weekend. Even at his very very best, he's not half as "grown-up friendly" as my daughter. That is to say, grown-ups who don't currently have young children seem to think that children "should" be a certain way, and it doesn't have a lot to do with the reality of young children. My daughter will sit on an adult's lap and page through a book. My nephew will throw the book and squirm away as quickly as possible. And a dozen other examples that I'm too tired to list. Point is, grown-ups don't like noise for the sake of noise, they don't think mess is fun, and they don't think bodily functions are funny. So yeah, I think they prefer little girls. (Sorry I'm incoherent; it's late, and that nephew wore me out today!)

[Anonymous]

I think it has more to do with the behaviour and temperament of the children than their gender.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP -- an obnoxious or rowdy kid is not going to garner the same "oh how sweet" looks as a well behaved one - boy or girl.

[Anonymous]

This is not a boy girl difference. Adults like well behaved kids (and well-behaved adults too!). Most of the time DD is well behaved and I get comments about how cute she is, other times, well! let's just say she has her moments! - I get the 'look'.

[Anonymous]

I have to admit that i generally prefer girls. But, it is more the personality type that comes along with it. I can't stand the aggressive violent stuff. That's more the parent's fault IMO, but I just think boys get away with not being as dynamic or well behaved. I hear more girls saying please and thank you and excuse me. Girls also seem to be more dynamic in their thoughts until at least high school aged and even then, colleges are filled with women.

[Anonymous]

i have 3 boys and when i told people i was having the 3rd boy, i got the most sad look from people. it was awful. i stopped telling anyone because i figured once the baby was here, people could not seem disappointed. Even my mom said, after the 2nd boy, "oh well- now i know you'll have a 3rd".
Now that my oldest is nearing middle school age, i will say the parents of girls are having a tougher time (generally) than the parents of the boys. It all evens out. But people do prefer girls, IMO.

PS My pet peeve: people whose little girls are biters, pushers, grabbers etc, and they do nothing or else just gently reprimand while applauding her "strength". Meanwhile, I guarantee a boy doing the same will be branded a bully. I have seen it time and time again.
Yes, I'm a little bitter!

[zumbamama]

I have no preference. My boy is happy-go-lucky, always cheerful, the optimist...but yes—VERY active. My girl is whiny, tempermental, drama-queen, clingy...but physically calmer and can sit still longer. I enjoy my son's positive attitude, but my daughter is physically easier to keep up with. Love them both equally.

[Anonymous]

Yes I think they do. I've heard teachers grumble about the number of boys in their class and strangers are much less complimentary and friendly to him than they were my daughter. I've become a lot more sensitive to it since having a boy who is the light of my life. Girls do mature faster and in preschool at least, it's a girl's world. Boys are starting to seriously lag behind girls in scholastic achievement, graduation rates. School is easier for girls -- they sit still and they listen. It's harder for boys to do this.

My friends without sons really don't understand how different they are. My son is active and interested in everything while my daughter will demurely stay at my side and converse with adults. My son is probably 10x more work than my daughter. Often times I'll complain about chasing my son around to a friend with daughters and she doesn't think there's any difference between the two.

I love my son and I hate the idea that people think he's ill-behaved when he's doing what comes naturally to him. Just being a boy. Actually, I find him to be more honest and more sensitive than my daughter. I hate the cruelty and sneakiness that I see in many young girls. My son is pretty much defenseless to it.

[Anonymous]

Having a boy blew to bits my feminist ideas that boys and girls/men and women are basically the same. They are totally different. I really wanted a girl (but of course now I wouldn't have things any other way -- two boys) and had a fantasy of having "tea" with a daughter. I tried using a tea set with DS #1 but every piece ended up smashed, one after the other until there was like the sugar bowl and the lid to the teapot left. But if I had had daughters, I would never light up at the sight of a cement mixer or breathlessly point out a passing frieght train. I think boys are fantastic!!! (I'm sure girls are, too....)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it has more to do with the behaviour and temperament of the children than their gender.

Absolutely. I have two boys, and my first is the super-verbal, well-behaved, sweet kid everyone dotes on. He is the least aggressive child I know, and he can sit for hours being read to and happily sits in restaurants without squirming. My second is only 6 months but seems to have a similar personality. My husband is one of two boys, and they were the same way.

My best friend has two girls: One is a super-active, tantrum-prone, all-around-difficult child; the second is much lower key.

When it comes to other people's children, I find girls and boys to be equally charming and annoying, depending on their personalities.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe I'm going to step in this, but oh well ...

I have noticed that when I am out in public with DS and his female cousin who is the exact same age, strangers always, always respond more positively to her than to him. They notice her first, they address her first and him as an afterthought not at all, ask her polite kid-questions. They attempt conversation with her, say they like her bow/shoes/hair, etc.

(the bow/shoe compliment is kind of revolting to me, but that's another thread).

The kids are now 5, and this has been going on since they were responsive infants with no hair. It's like the lady in line at Target turns around, figures out which non-verbal infant in the same shopping cart behind her is the girl (hint: the one in pink with a bow), and starts smiling to her but not the other baby.

[Anonymous]

I remember watching 60 mintues, or some other news magazine. They said that while there are equal amounts of boys and girls up for adoption (even in China) that the majority of adopted children are girls.

Girls can have cute little hair cuts, adorable dresses, and as one poster mentioned, tea parties. But no one ever mentions the fact that once they start talking, they never stop. Girls are also more manipulative, and emotional.

Boys tend to be more physical. They need to have running and jumping time. They need to be allowed to explore and take things apart.

I have one of each, and they require equal amounts of attention. The interactions they need are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a boy blew to bits my feminist ideas that boys and girls/men and women are basically the same. They are totally different. I really wanted a girl (but of course now I wouldn't have things any other way -- two boys) and had a fantasy of having "tea" with a daughter. I tried using a tea set with DS #1 but every piece ended up smashed, one after the other until there was like the sugar bowl and the lid to the teapot left. But if I had had daughters, I would never light up at the sight of a cement mixer or breathlessly point out a passing frieght train. I think boys are fantastic!!! (I'm sure girls are, too....)

Sorry to burst your bubble but my dd is just as interesting in tea parties as she is in trains and trucks. Our Thomas train table resides next to her bin of tea and dress up clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember watching 60 mintues, or some other news magazine. They said that while there are equal amounts of boys and girls up for adoption (even in China) that the majority of adopted children are girls.

More Chinese girls were adopted because Chinese law only allows each family to have one child. As a results there was a surplus of baby girls because Chinese families wanted a boy as their only child and giving the girls up for adoption (or worse, killing them).