Do People in General Preferred Girls over Boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember watching 60 mintues, or some other news magazine. They said that while there are equal amounts of boys and girls up for adoption (even in China) that the majority of adopted children are girls.

More Chinese girls were adopted because Chinese law only allows each family to have one child. As a results there was a surplus of baby girls because Chinese families wanted a boy as their only child and giving the girls up for adoption (or worse, killing them).

That was , in part, what the story was about, and the myth that most of the children up for adoption were girls.

[Anonymous]

I have both, but boys definitely have the better toys!

[Anonymous]

I have been told by two adoption agencies that 80% of people who apply to adopt a child request a girl. The other 20% leave it to chance. It is extremely rare for a prospective adoptive family to request a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been told by two adoption agencies that 80% of people who apply to adopt a child request a girl. The other 20% leave it to chance. It is extremely rare for a prospective adoptive family to request a boy.

Total crap - I would love to see these figures, you cannot possible substantiate that claim.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if people prefer girls to boys and don't care.

The exuberence and assertivness of boys might be frowned upon when they are little, but it is what is expected of them as men and it's what what gets them ahead. If and when I have a girl, I hope she acts more like a boy, it will serve her better in the long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been told by two adoption agencies that 80% of people who apply to adopt a child request a girl. The other 20% leave it to chance. It is extremely rare for a prospective adoptive family to request a boy.

Total crap - I would love to see these figures, you cannot possible substantiate that claim.

I wasn't the poster of the original statement, but this doesn't sound like crap to me. I have a couple of friends who have adopted and mentioned that the probability of getting girls are a lot slimmer than boys.

[Anonymous]

http://www.slate.com/id/2093899/

"Numbers vary, but it's pretty safe to say that somewhere between 70 percent and 90 percent of parents looking to adopt register some preference for a girl with an agency. It doesn't matter if they're adopting from China, where girls far outnumber boys; from Russia, where the numbers are about even; or from Cambodia, where there is typically a glut of orphan boys and a paucity of girls. Everywhere, demand tends to favor the feminine. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have both, but boys definitely have the better toys!

Tell me about it! Tea parties are boring as all get out, and who the hell wants to pretend to do laundry?

...Although, to be honest, I push the party line that there are no "boy" toys or "girl" toys.

[Anonymous]

Oh this thread makes me sad. I am about to have a little boy, and I hate to think that he is going to get treated this way. At the same time, I feel a bit guilty because I definitely fell into the "prefer a girl" camp before I got pregnant and found out that I was having a boy. I wanted a girl sooo badly. Why? I had visions of playing tea party and dressing her in cute dresses with bows in her hair. It just felt familiar to me since those were the things that I did as a child and I always pictured sharing them with a daughter. However, since I found out that I am having a boy, I have been doing a lot of reading and talking to friends with boys and hearing the same things as the OP... teachers seem to prefer the little girls in school, everyone thinks the little girls are sooo cute and the boys are terrors. Now I feel so bad that I was ever one of those women who dismissed little boys so quickly and I feel so protective of my unborn son. I wonder, in the abstract, if women just prefer girls because they are easier to identify with and are more familiar? And maybe it isn't until you actually have a boy that you start to appreciate all the wonderful things about little boys. On the flip side, do you think men prefer boys over girls?

[Anonymous]

"Having a boy blew to bits my feminist ideas that boys and girls/men and women are basically the same. They are totally different. I really wanted a girl (but of course now I wouldn't have things any other way -- two boys) and had a fantasy of having "tea" with a daughter. I tried using a tea set with DS #1 but every piece ended up smashed, one after the other until there was like the sugar bowl and the lid to the teapot left."

You know I have a boy and a girl and have yet to see these mind blowing gender gaps. Oddly my friends who have some of each haven't seen this either. DD never plays with her kitchen and DS loves it. Both like cars, trucks, and dolls equally. Both kids are very physically active but DD is the loud one who can't sit still while DS is much more laid back and therefore more likely to behave.

I have a feeling that it is 50/50 shot which way your personailty goes and there is alot of conscious and subconscious influence from parents toward gender expectations.

[Anonymous]

I also admit that I really wanted to have a girl rather than a boy. My son is loving and adventurous but he is most certainly a handful. He is very physical, always likes to be up and about, and almost never just wants to sit in a chair and read with me. Many of his friends (all boys) seem to be exactly the same way. I wouldn't trade my DS or his personality for the world, but I really, really, really hope that our next one is a girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh this thread makes me sad. I am about to have a little boy, and I hate to think that he is going to get treated this way. At the same time, I feel a bit guilty because I definitely fell into the "prefer a girl" camp before I got pregnant and found out that I was having a boy. I wanted a girl sooo badly. Why? I had visions of playing tea party and dressing her in cute dresses with bows in her hair. It just felt familiar to me since those were the things that I did as a child and I always pictured sharing them with a daughter. However, since I found out that I am having a boy, I have been doing a lot of reading and talking to friends with boys and hearing the same things as the OP... teachers seem to prefer the little girls in school, everyone thinks the little girls are sooo cute and the boys are terrors. Now I feel so bad that I was ever one of those women who dismissed little boys so quickly and I feel so protective of my unborn son. I wonder, in the abstract, if women just prefer girls because they are easier to identify with and are more familiar? And maybe it isn't until you actually have a boy that you start to appreciate all the wonderful things about little boys. On the flip side, do you think men prefer boys over girls?

Oh, no, no no!! Poster, you MUST be excited. Really. I, too, was hoping for a girl and when I found out I was having a boy I admit, I was a bit depressed. I was praying first for a healthy baby, but I was also secretly praying for a girl. Well...fast forward two years. Actually, it was only about 6 months, I forgot all about what I thought I had wanted.

I LOVE having a boy, I cannot even tell you. He's my only, so I have nothing to compare with, and I'm sure girls do these things also, but here are a few moments when he had melted my heart--

--when he picked me a flower and handed it to me with his dirty, chubby little hand and said, "I pick flower for you, Mommy"
--when he said one morning "You look pretty today, Mommy" (I think DG coached on that one)
--when he looks for me after getting hurt and only I will do
--when I wasn't feeling well one day and lying on the couch, him coming up to my face and kissing me over and over on my face

I could go on, but every day he is absolutely full of energy and challenging and wonderful. Your son will be all that you dream of and more. My son is the greatest joy of my life--I got the baby I was supposed to get, and so will you!

Look forward to your son!!!

[Anonymous]

My 3yr old boy tells me all of the time "You are the most beautiful mommy in the whole wide world!" It is the sweetest and most cherished compliment I have ever recieved in my life.

It totally boils down to personality. My little guy is extremely calm, always has been. He is gentle with pets and other children and has never smacked or bit anyone. I would definitly say he is charming and I have never gotten "the look" that other people are talking about. I know a couple of little boys and a couple of little girls who are complete hell raisers.

We are all mainly women posting here, so of course many women want girls. I also hear a lot of men want boys. I know for one, when we found out we were having a boy, my DH was grinning from ear to ear and was planning out the future of his little star NFL quarterbacker. He admitted that he really wanted his first child to be a son and I think was relieved when it worked out that way.

To be honest, I would be perfectly content if I had 4 more boys. If I have a girl, I certainly would like to stop at 1, too much drama. I can handle 4 boys, but not 4 girls.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 yr old son, and I can tell you from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I wanted a boy. If I have another, I hope to have another boy because I'd like DS to have a brother. If the general public is going to generalize about boys being rowdy and loud, etc, then I'm going to generalize and say that girls tend to be bratty and whiny. Plus, good luck when they become teenagers!

But in all seriousness, I would have no idea what to do with a girl. I was a tomboy growing up. I have no clue how to braid hair or put bows in it properly. So not all women want to have little girls.

[Anonymous]

I think it not only boils down to personality, but it also boils down to the mood of the moment. I have one of each. My boy is more prone to outright tantrums. He (at 3) absolutely does not know his own strength, and doesn't understand (no matter how many times I tell him, and how many times he ends up in time out) that it just isn't cool to run into people full speed. But, 10 minutes after running around full speed, he will sit down and quietly play with his trains or cars for an hour. He is also my child that is all about sitting in our laps, giving hugs, and come out with "I love you, mommy!" out of the blue. DD is younger--almost 2. She is less prone to all out tantrums (probably has had 1 in her life), but will shriek (once, but loudly) when something happens she doesn't like. She is WAYYYY more verbal than DS ever was. She obviously doesn't have the same vocabulary he does now--but comparing at the same ages, she is more verbal. She is much more gentle too. They are equally likely to play with a given toy (be it a train, basketball, or kitchen set). But when we are out, I have never noticed people treat them differently. I feel like whichever one of them is smiling at the stranger is the one who gets acknowledged.

Also--I was in the camp of definitely wanting a girl. I actually really wanted one of each (lucky me to get my wish!), but if I only had one, I really wanted a girl. For me, it wasn't the tea parties or cute dresses. And I fully intend to enroll my daughter in soccer, basketball, and any other rough and tumble sport she desires--as I did when I was younger. For me, it's just that I hope to have with my daughter the kind of relationship I have always had with my mom. We just did girlie things that boys wouldn't enjoy (weekly shopping/browsing trips, etc.) that kept us really close. I'm close to my dad too, and my brother is close to my mom. But it just wasn't the same. My mom found other things to do with my brother, as will I with my son. But the relationship just wasn't the same with them. I can't really explain it, and I'm in no way suggesting that mothers and sons can't have great relationships (my mom's sister is and always has been super-close with all of her boys). But I feel like, particularly during the teenage years, I will just have more in common with a daughter--understand her a little bit better. I'm sure I would feel differently if I hadn't had such a great relationship with my mom; but we are all shaped by our own experiences, I guess!