Somerset for a shy child

[Anonymous]

We are zoned for Somerset and would like to hear from parents of other shy children re: how the school works with them. My child needs time to warm up to new places and people, and I'm concerned that Somerset might be too big an environment, coming from a very warm and nurturing preschool. Any feedback is appreciated.

[Anonymous]

We gave it a shot for our sensitive and bright DD. Nothing terribly bad happened, but we felt she wasn't thriving as much as she could and no one made an effort to reach out to her. We ended up at a small private and have been very happy. I just feel as if it would have taken very little for things to have been different at Somerset but it just never happened for us. Maybe you will have a different experience though.

[Anonymous]

Two years ago with the then-counselor, I would have said your child would thrive after the initial transition phase. A new guidance counselor started this past year, however, and she is not nearly as involved with the students, does not have as many personal interactions with them (meaning outside of the in-class guidance classes she instructs every other week), does not respond to communications left by students in her office and is seemingly never walking the hallways, never conversing with kids or parents just 'cuz. Personally, I haven't had any interaction with her at all (in sharp contrast to the previous counselor who was always out in about in the school, led a Girls on the Run club, had lunch bunches everyday of the week, greeted kids at the beginning and end of every school day, knew who all the parents were, etc). While I think the teachers are fabulous (but be sure to give a heads-up to the school before the year begins to let then know about your DD's shyness so she is placed with a good teacher -- the K teachers come in all varieties), my only hesitation in recommending Somerset for your DD is that I am not sure you could rely on the counselor to help facilitate her transition and friendships.

Of course, you can always start there and if it isn't a good match, move her.

HTH

[Anonymous]

I have had 4 children attend Somerset and am familiar with three of the four kindergarten teachers (the 4th is new to the school). In our family's experience these teachers were all nurturing and responsive to parent concerns. I'm not one of those parents who thinks everything about the school or MCPS is perfect, but, Somerset is a very friendly community and we feel indebted to many current and past teachers there who gave our children (now in middle school, high school and college) an excellent educational launching pad.

[Anonymous]

OP: thank you for your replies. They are very helpful. I think my daughter would definitely need some gentle encouragement at least at the beginning to facilitate friendships, get paired up with a friend, etc. And she will know no one at Somerset (at least not in K), which is an additional concern.

12:04 poster: did you raise concerns to the teachers, and they just were not responsive? Or did the school not know how to handle the situation? Or did they handle things in a way that was not helpful? thanks again!

[Anonymous]

OP, assuming that your DD is not about to enter K next week, you have at least a year to help her get to know other children who'll be attending Somerset with her. Lots of Somerset families hang out at Norwood Park -- that's an easy way to meet folks with kids. Both the Town of Somerset and Chevy Chase West have n-hood listserves, so you can post something about getting together with other families with kids the same age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had 4 children attend Somerset and am familiar with three of the four kindergarten teachers (the 4th is new to the school). In our family's experience these teachers were all nurturing and responsive to parent concerns. I'm not one of those parents who thinks everything about the school or MCPS is perfect, but, Somerset is a very friendly community and we feel indebted to many current and past teachers there who gave our children (now in middle school, high school and college) an excellent educational launching pad.

I'm 11:39 and I completely agree with this poster. I realized that I may have given an impression that it is not a good school for shy children. That's not what I meant -- I am very happy with the school and for the most part with all of its teachers. I just wanted to stress not to rely on the new counselor -- she's just not that great. Instead, I would make sure you talk with the administration about how important teacher match is for you. I have found that in each grade there is one teacher who I would (trying carefully here) characterize as someone who might really scare off a super shy child. There is also generally one teacher per grade who I would characterize and super sensitive or super nurturing. The administration has generally been very good about matching children to these types of teachers in order for them to thrive. I mention this only because there are definitely such teacher archetypes in the K classes and I would not recommend that your child is with the former but rather with the latter. A carefully worded sentence or two in an email or in person will convey that to the principal in way that will make sure you get the right teacher match. If you have a neighbor that you trust, I would ask about what the individual styles of the K teachers are -- they are well known and you will get a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Most likely he is shy because you have hovered over him and not allowed him to interact with kids his age.

Stop babying him and let him go to school and play with kids his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most likely he is shy because you have hovered over him and not allowed him to interact with kids his age.

Stop babying him and let him go to school and play with kids his age.

I would make a safe bet that you clearly do not know anything about being shy, so shut up.

[Anonymous]

I would agree with the PP (although they were harsh in how they wrote it) that part of sending a child to the overpopulated public elementary schools in close-in Bethesda is that your child will have to break out of their shell...or, for a small minority, they won't, and you will eventually look for other academic options...

[Anonymous]

Parent of a painfully shy child here too. After a lot of issues with transition through preschool, we opted out of public school because of the size of the schools. While it works for some, the change in class makeup every year would have been a nightmare for our daughter. We started her at a smaller local Catholic where she moves with the same classmates from year-to-year. It's a much smaller community so she knows all of the kids and parents and feels very comfortable. The big plus is she knows in June who her classmates and teacher will be for each school year so there's no back-to-school anxiety. We have noticed an enormous change in her over the past three years and her shyness is hardly an issue anymore. I think ensuring she had a good comfort zone allowed her to "grow out of it" in confidence.

That said, we have friends at Somerset who rave about the community there. I think you would have no trouble meeting neighborhood families and helping her feel comfortable before she starts.

[Anonymous]

I was a shy child. I don't think a shy child just suddenly breaks out of their shell. It is a gradual process.

I attended a smallish Catholic school (60 kids per grade, 30 per class), a large public school and a small private school (45 per grade, less than 15 per class). I can say without hesitation that I did best and was happiest at the small private. The Catholic school was okay (I did fine socially, but was too shy to speak up and participate in the large classes and if I had needed help, I never would have asked), but the public school was a nightmare for me socially. I was miserable.

I think being in my private school's small, nurturing environment is what helped me come out of my shell. My school became a place where I felt safe to speak up in class, audition and win the lead in the school play, run for class officer and get to know my teachers. I never would have done any of those things in the public schools. Doing these things in the safe, supportive environment of my school gave me the confidence to try coming out of my shell more in other situations.

I'm not saying that Somerset won't work for your daughter, but if you can swing it, you may want to also consider looking at some smaller schools. We've decided to send our shy son to private school. I'm sure he'd do just fine in public, but we feel like he'd be his best in a smaller environment.

[Anonymous]

OP, what year will your child enter K? I would suggest posting to the neighborhood list serve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two years ago with the then-counselor, I would have said your child would thrive after the initial transition phase. A new guidance counselor started this past year, however, and she is not nearly as involved with the students, does not have as many personal interactions with them (meaning outside of the in-class guidance classes she instructs every other week), does not respond to communications left by students in her office and is seemingly never walking the hallways, never conversing with kids or parents just 'cuz. Personally, I haven't had any interaction with her at all (in sharp contrast to the previous counselor who was always out in about in the school, led a Girls on the Run club, had lunch bunches everyday of the week, greeted kids at the beginning and end of every school day, knew who all the parents were, etc). While I think the teachers are fabulous (but be sure to give a heads-up to the school before the year begins to let then know about your DD's shyness so she is placed with a good teacher -- the K teachers come in all varieties), my only hesitation in recommending Somerset for your DD is that I am not sure you could rely on the counselor to help facilitate her transition and friendships.

Of course, you can always start there and if it isn't a good match, move her.

HTH

I cannot agree with you more about the previous and current counselor. The current one is just indifferent. We met with her about something that could have easily change the situation with our child if he got involved. She listened, nodded her head a lot, agreed but never follow up. I don't think she knows how to resolve issues. The "old" counselor (who was actually very young) was on top of things. We miss her.

[Anonymous]

PP here: sorry about the typos