I Hate Being Pregnant

[Anonymous]

Yes, I know, it's a blessing, and I'm grateful that I don't have problems getting pregnant, but I really hate pregnancy. I hate throwing up, I hate the mood swings, I hate the body changes, I hate feeling like a sausage coming out of its casing, I hate the clothes, I hate wearing three job bras because my boobs are so big and heavy. It doesn't feel miraculous to me - it feels like a burden. I wake up counting the days to delivery. I'm actually looking forward to labor!

I hear people say all the time, "it's the best I ever felt", and I just don't get it! How do those of you who feel good do it? I read posts where people seem so happy and content, and I wonder what's wrong with me. I run, try to eat well, etc, but nothing seems to lift this feeling of dread for another week of pregnancy. And the worst part of it is that I can't fake it. I think I've horrified people when they ask how I am, and I tell them the truth! Somedays, I feel I need a muzzle.

I'm 16 weeks and hoping this mood will lift.....

[Anonymous]

OP here: meant to write "jog" bras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear people say all the time, "it's the best I ever felt", and I just don't get it! How do those of you who feel good do it? I read posts where people seem so happy and content, and I wonder what's wrong with me. I run, try to eat well, etc, but nothing seems to lift this feeling of dread for another week of pregnancy. And the worst part of it is that I can't fake it. I think I've horrified people when they ask how I am, and I tell them the truth! Somedays, I feel I need a muzzle.

Eh, I felt similar to that when I was pregnant. I guess it's different for all women. Some women love it, some not so much. Everyone kept saying that the second trimester was so wonderful, yada, yada. I ended up with a fibroid degenerating during my second trimester and it was horrible!

I will say that I found that I did the best during my 3rd trimester. I was obviously visibly pregnant, so people were nicer. I felt the baby kicking which made it more real. Plus, there was an end in sight.

Have you tried Prenatal Yoga? Might be worth trying.

Hold on, hopefully it'll get better for you at some point. If not, only 24 weeks to go.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there! I enjoyed my pregnancy a lot more once I got farther into the second trimester. Once I got to see the baby via ultrasound and feel her moving around, the rewards became a lot more evident, not quite so outweighed by all the obvious downsides! (for me, finding out the sex also helped me bond more with the baby.)

I'm saying this as someone who is in week 33, with the third trimester absolutely kicking my a*s. I've gained about 37 pounds, my doctors keep lecturing me on my weight gain and my feet are so swollen most days that I call them Shrek 1 and Shrek 2 because I look like I have ogre feet transplanted onto the ends of my legs. I could also do without the big giant butt I seem to have sprouted now that I can't run more than a couple of (very slow) miles at a time. I pee way more frequently than is convenient, I can't find a decent sleeping position to save my life, and the heartburn and reflux don't help.

That said, I'm still absolutely thrilled every time she wakes up and starts moving around. you'd be surprised how entertaining it can be to watch your belly moving of its own volition like something out of Alien. To me, this stuff almost always outweighs the bad stuff.

Good luck. (for now, even if you're feeling surly, i'd recommend faking happiness a bit. the couple of times i've been really p*ssy and complained to people, i ended up feeling really guilty afterward.)

[Anonymous]

Awww. You have my sympathy! It doesn't matter how you feel about being pregnant. You don't have to love it. And it doesn't have anything to do with how much you will love your child. I have friends & family who gush about how much they just loved being pregnant. I'm 29 weeks, and well, I don't love it. I find it kind of fascinating, because it is really a crazy science experiment. But I also see it as a means to an end. My best friend and I agree that if we could have our own biological child and hatch it in an egg or a pod rather than be pregnant, we totally would. The first trimester was pretty dreadful, and I wan't even that sick. I was queasy and heartburny and exhausted all the time, and there were definitely quite a few moments when I burst into tears and told my husband that I COULD NOT TAKE 30+ MORE WEEKS OF THIS. It got better at about week 16 or 17, and I've felt much more normal since then. It did get more interesting for me when I could feel the baby moving - that's my favorite part of this whole gig so far. It has been endlessly fascinating to feel the flutters turn to thumps, and to see random feet or elbows jabbing out of my belly. But (and I know this is going to sound horribly vain and superficial to some, but I'm entitled to my opinion, y'all) I miss my body. I worry about losing the weight afterwards. I miss margaritas. I hate watching the pounds on the scale creep up, even though I know it's supposed to happen. I hate having heartburn from everything and nothing. I feel terribly self-conscious. I'm tired of everyone talking about my belly and my due date. I hate how hard it's getting to just roll over in bed, or get in and out of a car. I'm tired of being uncomfortable in so many ways. I'm ready for it to be over. But I also want my baby to be healthy, and stay in there as long as she needs to. And I'm equal parts excited and scared about having the actual baby actually here. Will it all be worth it? I'm told so, and I hope so. Do I have to like it? No.

[Anonymous]

You have the right to hate it and have crap days and want to vent. But for your own sanity, TRY to find some up sides. ANY. Your pregnancy will not feel as long...

[Anonymous]

i've had a pretty easy pregnancy, and i still can't say i "LOVE" being pregnant. don't hate it ... but i don't love it either.

[Anonymous]

I kept reminding myself it wouldn't last forever

[Anonymous]

If this is any consolation, I decided I wanted to have another child. I am a SAHM with 21 mos old son, and an now almost 7 months pregnant. I was pretty shell shocked for a few months after having him, but it's so much more rewarding now, and if you decide to do this again, the 2nd pregnancy goes by so much faster you wouldn't believe it.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Just wait until you are 9 mo. pregnant and you see yourself in a window reflection and you're reminded about how similar you look to a beached whale

You'll hit the "babymoon" phase soon so hang in there.

Besides, the end product is sooo rewarding and sooo worth it.

[Anonymous]

I hated it too, for all of the reasons you described. So much in fact that I will only have 1 child.

[Anonymous]

My child is a joy and a delight and I can't imagine life without him. That said...

I absolutely couldn't stand being pregnant and it took my wrists 4 years to recover.

I read your post and immediately "relived" the feeling of oatmeal coming back up. Don't get me started on the asphyxiating process of puking peanut butter.

I had one problem after another - all controlled medically, but all having the potential to be serious.

I had a favorite bed in triage at the hospital.

It all culminated with an abruption and a c section.

Recovering from a c-section (including loss of blood) was NOTHING compared to being pregnant. I didn't come down from that high for a week.

The good news is, it always ends.

I didn't do it again either.

[Anonymous]

It could be worse -- you could be pregnant with twins or even triplets. Trust me, I've been there and it is MUCH harder than a singleton pregnancy. I do love feeling them move though and remember how I missed that after my other kids were born.

[Anonymous]

I'm another one who hates being pregnant. I'm small to begin with but I got so enormous by the end of the first pregnancy that people literally stopped on the street to laugh at me. The weight all came off quickly (mostly water I guess), but I'm terrified of being that uncomfortable again. This time around I'm only halfway there, and every time I complain the littlest bit my husband reminds me that #2 was basically my idea.

Plus I just found out that I'm going to be joined by yet another little man, which thrills all the men in my life but leaves me just a little wistful (and scared of a house of crazy boys).... which is a little shameful self-pitying whine for another thread.

I try to remind myself how I used to be crazy jealous of pregnant women on the street during the years it took (with a m/c in the middle) to conceive this one. Truthfully, it doesn't really change my discomfort with pregnancy but at least shames me a little into bucking up a bit.

Anyway, just wanted to tell the OP she's not alone, and that I loved the 'sausage coming out of its casing' description - that's exactly how I feel! And huge kudos to you for keeping up with running - I gave it up when I had some spotting and now resuming exercise feels like torture. Good luck and let's all focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I love motherhood, but boy, did I hate pregnancy!
You are so not alone in this.