Gender disappointment for DH

[Anonymous]

I would discount what my DH felt. Who cares? That is his problem. Now, if YOU want to concentrate on positive things, which you should and not your immature DH, you can start to envision all the things three girls can do. I am one of three girls. Three girls do things as a threesome. It is always three. Girls trip? Three of us. Shopping? Three of us. Even young we were the XXX girls. We were a force. I am sure all families are great, but theee girls is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would discount what my DH felt. Who cares? That is his problem. Now, if YOU want to concentrate on positive things, which you should and not your immature DH, you can start to envision all the things three girls can do. I am one of three girls. Three girls do things as a threesome. It is always three. Girls trip? Three of us. Shopping? Three of us. Even young we were the XXX girls. We were a force. I am sure all families are great, but theee girls is awesome.

Gah. That sounds so amazing. You grew up in my ideal family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 girls and just found out #3 is a girl as well. We wanted a third either way but DH was really hoping for a boy. Our two girls are 7 and 4 and somehow as girly as can be. DH has tried to get them into sports but there is just zero interest. They are both also mommy’s girls, not daddy’s girls, which I think DH has always been disappointed in. I would have liked a bit too but another of the same will certainly be easier in some ways.

Anyway, has anyone else’s husband been disappointed in gender? Assume he will get over it in time?

He needs to start being grateful for three healthy childten. What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl. I'm a little sad that my DD won't have a sister. I'm a little sad that my DS won't have a brother. There is ALWAYS some relationship that appears to be missing. But then you live your life and realize that life isn't always cookie cutter perfect.

+1 There's always a little bit of you that imagines things the other way, and if he always imagined having a son it's perfectly normal to feel sad that won't come to pass. And once the kid is here this disappointment pales in comparison to the joy of the actual child you get, and you move on. People try to blow this out of proportion when someone mentions gender disappointment here, but it's not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl. I'm a little sad that my DD won't have a sister. I'm a little sad that my DS won't have a brother. There is ALWAYS some relationship that appears to be missing. But then you live your life and realize that life isn't always cookie cutter perfect.

+1 There's always a little bit of you that imagines things the other way, and if he always imagined having a son it's perfectly normal to feel sad that won't come to pass. And once the kid is here this disappointment pales in comparison to the joy of the actual child you get, and you move on. People try to blow this out of proportion when someone mentions gender disappointment here, but it's not a big deal.

+2 this is a fairly common sentiment. I have boy-boy-girl and I can't tell you how many people have said to me in the past year (including random strangers who see me with all three kids) "You got your girl!" Maybe it's mainly because of socialization, but there are things that a parent is more likely to get to share with one gender or the other, so I think it's normal to have some preferences and is only rarely going to end up being a problem.

OP, don't count out the sports thing. Your DD2 is only 4 - still plenty of time for an interest in sports to develop. Looking at some of the girls we know, girly girl stuff can totally coexist with stuff that might be more in DH's wheelhouse. Just last week I was watching one of the girls on our street running around in some super girly hot pink ruffle skirt carrying a ginormous nerf rifle! It was awesome. One of my friends who had a Barbie dreMhouse when we were kids and is now a super fashionable makeup expert went to college on a lacrosse scholarship.

[Anonymous]

He could volunteer. Coach softball. Adopt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband expecting a girl and I'm very worried that this exact scenario will happen to me

I'm not sure how I'll get over it

Will always be a regret if I don't get to know what it's like to raise a son

I have two sons, 21 and 18, and still feel twinges when I see parents with daughters. I still feel sad from time to time that I will never experience having a daughter.

It is a loss, but you do get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband expecting a girl and I'm very worried that this exact scenario will happen to me

I'm not sure how I'll get over it

Will always be a regret if I don't get to know what it's like to raise a son

My husband felt the same way. He’s a guys guy. He’s so in love with our baby girl and now feels ridiculous he even worried about it.

I'm expecting to love my daughter like crazy, but if I never get to experience father son bonding, I'll feel like I've missed out

Also, it's silly to some, but I'd like to pass on my family name to future generations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband expecting a girl and I'm very worried that this exact scenario will happen to me

I'm not sure how I'll get over it

Will always be a regret if I don't get to know what it's like to raise a son

I have two sons, 21 and 18, and still feel twinges when I see parents with daughters. I still feel sad from time to time that I will never experience having a daughter.

It is a loss, but you do get over it.

Yeah, this makes sense

[Anonymous]

Have some perspective.

I’ve had many miscarriages and will never have biological children.

Some of us would feel blessed to be in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

We have three girls in my family and its so fun! Whenever we're all home (my parents house) its like a big reunion. My sisters and I have the best time together. And we all love our dad so much. He coached our teams when we were little but also let us paint his nails and learned how to do our hair when we were kids. I think he loves having just girls. My dad also used to hang out with a group of other dads of just girls when we were growing up and they called themselves "Dads of daughters." They would go to watch high school football games and other stereotypically "guy stuff" like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband expecting a girl and I'm very worried that this exact scenario will happen to me

I'm not sure how I'll get over it

Will always be a regret if I don't get to know what it's like to raise a son

My husband felt the same way. He’s a guys guy. He’s so in love with our baby girl and now feels ridiculous he even worried about it.

I'm expecting to love my daughter like crazy, but if I never get to experience father son bonding, I'll feel like I've missed out

Also, it's silly to some, but I'd like to pass on my family name to future generations

What if your son is gay? Or chooses never to marry and have kids?

What if your son and you have zero shared interests?

[Anonymous]

I think he’ll pretty much get over it once your daughter is born. I’m sure they’ll still be times over the years when he may let his mind wonder to what it would be like to have a son, but I doubt it will consume him. He’ll love his 3 girls fiercely, I’m sure. I have three boys, and while I wasn’t ever disappointed that my third was a boy, there still are random moments that I get sad I’ll never get to experience a mother daughter relationship. However, I also know how lucky I am to have three wonderful children, and that there is always some sort of relationship in life you may miss out on.

[Anonymous]

When we found out DC2 was another girl we gave her DHs initials. I think it helped him come to terms with (at the time) not having a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband expecting a girl and I'm very worried that this exact scenario will happen to me

I'm not sure how I'll get over it

Will always be a regret if I don't get to know what it's like to raise a son

My husband felt the same way. He’s a guys guy. He’s so in love with our baby girl and now feels ridiculous he even worried about it.

I'm expecting to love my daughter like crazy, but if I never get to experience father son bonding, I'll feel like I've missed out

Also, it's silly to some, but I'd like to pass on my family name to future generations

Maybe you'll realize that father/daughter bonding is so wonderful that you do not need anything else. Maybe you'll have a son someday and *not* have a father/son bond and then you'll still feel like you are missing out. Maybe your daughter will grow up to marry another woman and carry on your family name, or will have a child as a single parent and carry on your family name, or will marry a man but still choose to give their children your last name. Maybe the bond you have with your child(ren) will have very little if nothing to do with the parts between their legs and everything to do with who you are as a father.