Sympathy card etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never too late. People grieve for a long time, and it's nice to know that someone is still thinking about their loss with sympathy.

+1

I have found that most people really need the support later, when everyone else has moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although you didn't ask... according to one of the manners gurus it's never appropriate to use a store bought card with a pre-printed message, you're supposed to handwrite the message.

Thank you. I was going to post the same message. You should write a note of sympathy, not send a pre-printed card. So rude. Bad manners are worse than no manners at all.

Your answer shows that you have no understanding of what etiquette is.

[Anonymous]

My Dad passed away a couple of months ago. Almost everyone sent me preprinted cards - I was totally fine with that. I have no idea how they addressed the card. I just appreciated that people were thinking of me, and what I really cherished was when people included a little personal note about my Dad, mentioning something that they remembered about him.

Of course, some people wrote me who had never met my dad, so of course they didn't include any personal remembrances, but I so much appreciated those who were able to say something personal about Dad.

[Anonymous]

Should I send flowers to funeral home of the mother of my son's best friend? I met the woman a few times and the girl was only child and very close to her mom. ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should I send flowers to funeral home of the mother of my son's best friend? I met the woman a few times and the girl was only child and very close to her mom. ?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should I send flowers to funeral home of the mother of my son's best friend? I met the woman a few times and the girl was only child and very close to her mom. ?

It would be a nice gesture. Alternatively, depending on how old your son is, you could do something like donate a few age-appropriate books about grieving (or some subject of interest to the deceased/family) to the child's school library. I've done this and wrote an inscription in the books, "Donated in memory of XXXX, loving grandmother of YYYY". I then wrote a brief note about the donation in the sympathy card.

[Anonymous]

My Mother recently passed away. I have a so, so relationship with my mother in-law. My husband caller her to tell her of my mother's passing. She told him to giver her love and well wishes to me. It has been 3 weeks now. she has not called me nor has she sent me a card. I feel ignored. Is it proper for her to do one or the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mother recently passed away. I have a so, so relationship with my mother in-law. My husband caller her to tell her of my mother's passing. She told him to giver her love and well wishes to me. It has been 3 weeks now. she has not called me nor has she sent me a card. I feel ignored. Is it proper for her to do one or the other?

At minimum, she should send a card. She should also call. It would be really nice if she sent food and/or flowers.

[Anonymous]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there are different last names? Can't write "The Smith Family" b/c the mom has a different name (and it's her family member who passed).

When my father died, lots of people sent sympathy cards to me, to my family. I didn't care one whit whether they used my maiden name or married name, or sent a pre-printed card, wrote it themselves, or hand-whittled it from stone they grew organically. I was just touched that people cared for me when I was hurting.

Same. Store bought card is fine.

I didn’t care at all what sort of card a person used. One couple even sent me the exact same card twice for the death of my one parent.

[Anonymous]

When my mother died, people sent me cards from the store and I really appreciated it. Not everybody has a gift with words, So sometimes the printed messages really struck the right cord, and it was also nice to see the pictures of flowers or whatever. Most importantly, I was grateful for all expressions of sympathy, and it never occurred to me to wonder if somebody should have handwritten me a note instead of sending me a card they purchased.