Sympathy card etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should I send flowers to funeral home of the mother of my son's best friend? I met the woman a few times and the girl was only child and very close to her mom. ?

It would be a nice gesture. Alternatively, depending on how old your son is, you could do something like donate a few age-appropriate books about grieving (or some subject of interest to the deceased/family) to the child's school library. I've done this and wrote an inscription in the books, "Donated in memory of XXXX, loving grandmother of YYYY". I then wrote a brief note about the donation in the sympathy card.

[Anonymous]

My Mother recently passed away. I have a so, so relationship with my mother in-law. My husband caller her to tell her of my mother's passing. She told him to giver her love and well wishes to me. It has been 3 weeks now. she has not called me nor has she sent me a card. I feel ignored. Is it proper for her to do one or the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mother recently passed away. I have a so, so relationship with my mother in-law. My husband caller her to tell her of my mother's passing. She told him to giver her love and well wishes to me. It has been 3 weeks now. she has not called me nor has she sent me a card. I feel ignored. Is it proper for her to do one or the other?

At minimum, she should send a card. She should also call. It would be really nice if she sent food and/or flowers.

[Anonymous]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there are different last names? Can't write "The Smith Family" b/c the mom has a different name (and it's her family member who passed).

When my father died, lots of people sent sympathy cards to me, to my family. I didn't care one whit whether they used my maiden name or married name, or sent a pre-printed card, wrote it themselves, or hand-whittled it from stone they grew organically. I was just touched that people cared for me when I was hurting.

Same. Store bought card is fine.

I didn’t care at all what sort of card a person used. One couple even sent me the exact same card twice for the death of my one parent.

[Anonymous]

When my mother died, people sent me cards from the store and I really appreciated it. Not everybody has a gift with words, So sometimes the printed messages really struck the right cord, and it was also nice to see the pictures of flowers or whatever. Most importantly, I was grateful for all expressions of sympathy, and it never occurred to me to wonder if somebody should have handwritten me a note instead of sending me a card they purchased.