
I agree with this. My mom was completely unsupportive. NOTHING I ever did was good enough. I don't want to go overboard and become a crazy praiser (yes, I've read NurtureShock), but I do want my child to know that what he/she does is important. Especially academics. |
Wow. I'm an asshole because my aunt and uncle were braggards who were also pretty short-sighted about their kids' education? Wow, just wow. There's a bit of a difference between supporting and being proud of your kids, and acting like an idiot bragging about something that isn't really brag-worthy. Guess I touched a nerve with those of you who also got a lesser education at poor-performing schools. |
NP here. So you're saying people whose kids go to poor-performing schools shouldn't bother being proud of their kids who do well? You sounded jealous and bitter in your first post and you sound even worse now. Your cousins were lucky that even though they were in a poor-performing school, they had parents who supported their efforts to do well and were proud of them. Do you really think they posted report cards on their own refrigerator, in their family kitchen, so they could brag to you? I like your aunt and uncle. I went to great schools, BTW. |
This is interesting. I always knew grades were important to my parents, and they told me they were proud of me, yet they never felt the need to post my report card on the refrigerator (and neither did I). I don't think I'd want it up there all the time putting pressure on me. Surprised at the outcry here. |
I'm on the side of the aunt and uncle, too. So they couldn't afford a better school district or private schools. Yet they they gave their kids what they could, which was lots of support. Good for them. I bet their kids are hard workers, even if they aren't professionals. Whereas you apparently spend your days on DCUM. I agree, they probably didn't care what you thought, because you're an a$$ now and you were probably already an a$$ then. They probably did it for their kids. |
16:57 again. I went to the Ivy League, BTW. |
What happens if you've got one kid who gets straight As and another who doesn't? My parents took the same approach as 16.55's, and I try to do the same, but delving into the details.
I've got a friend who posts every little achievement of her child on Facebook, and it is tedious. I know and like her child, but the kid is a tween and I don't understand the need to go into such detail. One photo of the Halloween costume? Fine. A twenty-picture spread on the making of a snowman? Someone needs an editor. |
17:02 -- Speaking of needing an editor --
"WITHOUT delving into the details" |
I have a FB friend who is constantly posting about the achievements of one of her DC -- which really are above and beyond the norm -- but if all you saw were FB posts you would think she had only one child. I wonder what her other, more "normal" DC think about all of those posts about their sibling. |
I said that, too, until my child (who was struggling to transition to a new school) came home with one and was so proud of herself. She was so proud of herself! It would have devastated her if we had not put it on. We did put it in the window of our old car with tinted windows. Never say never. I'd rather have people making fun of me and my child happy and well-adjusted. |
Yep. I've been there. |
OP here...I'm glad to hear the other perspective. Just want to clarify that I'm happy for my friend and her kids and agree she should be proud. Maybe there is a part of me that feels it might be insensitive to other parents whose kids might be struggling...but I suppose I'm overthinking it. ![]() |
Wait until SATs. I had two mothers boast about their children's SAT scores to me last week. Jawdropping! |
Grades are so inflated these days that pretty much everyone is an A student. A very special snowflake.
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When people constantly post super-braggy stuff on Facebook I always think they're making up for something that's missing in their lives. Maybe their kids got straight As but are bratty obnoxious human beings. Or maybe they're just trying to compensate for their own insecurities--they want the people they went to high school with to know that their kids are smart even if they weren't. I'm not talking about the occasional post, but you know who those people are who are constantly writing stuff about how great their kids are, how awesome their husband is, etc.
As far as the "isn't it adorable" baby stories, to me they show a lack of insight/understanding about FB and how to relate to people in general. If you're using FB for this purpose, you should take a hard look at your friend list to make sure that everyone on it is someone who would actually care about your precious princess' latest burp. (Hint--most are probably not.) And don't even get me started on people who post about how little Emma went poopy in the potty. I am SHOCKED at this. We all get caught up in these milestones with our kids, but seriously, your third-grade boyfriend has NO interest in hearing about your kid's bowel movements! Things that happen in the bathroom are not polite conversation for anyone who doesn't have little kids. I hide anyone who posts anything remotely scatological, and my opinion of them goes down just a bit because it's so inappropriate. |