How to handle long-distance friendship visits we’re not comfortable with?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one weekend - it won’t derail local friendships. And you could find out about the supervision provided if you tried.

If you’re that worried invite the friend to stay with you. You can supervise and have all the local friends over to see the visitor.

I’m sorry, I should have been more clear: I’m not driving 12 hours in one weekend so my DD can spend the night, and I don’t think that’s unreasonable. But my 13yo doesn’t understand that reason because she’s thinking emotionally since her other friend has been multiple times, which, in and of itself I find bizarre.

That’s logical, but I am suspicious that it took you three tries to come up with that reason.

Your DD can probably sense that, whatever you claim, this is absolutely about you not liking the kid who moved away. (Which might be justified, of course, but you aren’t being up front with DD and she can tell.)

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04/22/2026 17:19

Subject: How to handle long-distance friendship visits we’re not comfortable with?

quote

Anonymous

Just tell her you aren’t willing to drive 12 hours each way for this visit to drop her off and pick her up. That’s the truth and very far away. You don’t have to mention anything about supervision. I would not be willing to make a 12 hour road trip anywhere. Leave it at that.