18 year old already like a suburban dad?

[Anonymous]

He'll be fine. He doesn't have to follow whatever blueprint you imagined for his life. You did something right. Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a gen-z thing.

- New Balance shoes,
- Shop at TJ, Aldies, Lidl and Costco!!
- Wear hoodies/joggers mainly from Costco and other places. Three suits (blue, black, light gray) for weddings, blue/white/gray/pink/black shirts, many solid color ties.
- Haircuts from the mom and pop ethnic barber shops,
- Ok with thrifting (tools, pots and pans, garden equipment, golf club, party supplies),
- Always use apps when buying (even mcdonalds) that they can get freebies,
- First pay themselves - Roth, IRA, 401, Index funds etc,
- Hesitate to buy anything new.
- Balanced meals, drink a lot of warm beverages...
- But they will buy big slushie drinks
- Buy baked goods from Asian bakery
- Pack snacks when they are commuting to work for the car
- Have forbidden me to declutter and minimize anything before they can go through the hoard and then sell on FBMP.

This is our son. He’s 23

[Anonymous]

I guess this could have been me when I was that age.

For me there's some degree to which it's reactionary. I have an older sibling who struggled with addiction in his teens and 20s (he's been sober for a long time now, but his best friend who I had know my whole life died young due to complications) and for me it seemed a better idea to just not even get close to that.

[Anonymous]

Lol we've been privately joking that 19yo is already a middle-aged suburban dad for a few years now, it's very sweet and honestly kind of a nice balance with our older dd who lives fairly exciting life that terrifies us at times. But ds is happy playing golf and poker with his buds, grilling up some burgers or steaks afterward, heading out on shopping errands with his girlfriend. And perhaps most importantly he seems quite content and has great friendly energy that serves him well in the world/at school/at work. So i'm all good with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you white American, OP?

I am East Asian, and in our culture it is expected that our children will not rebel in any visible way.

I am confused by your surprise. Or is this is a weird humblebrag? Your message is not getting across.

Me again. But also, you equate "creative and artsy" and non-athletic with being quirky? Where do you place classical musicians, then? Performing arts in general? Is my teen daughter non-conforming because she rides on horseback, likes to play violin and paint watercolors? Athletes mean squeaky clean to you?

You don't seem to know what you're talking about, honestly.

I don’t think “artsy” means what you think it does.
When someone is talking about an “artsy” kid, they usually are not talking about a clean-cut classical musician. It is more likely to describe a kid with blue hair or scraggly look who isn’t into STEM or classical music. It has a very different meaning in 2026 than it did in the 90s or 00s.

[Anonymous]

And 18 year old boy who likes cars, working out and his girlfriend sounds exactly like 18 year old boys ever since they invented cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And 18 year old boy who likes cars, working out and his girlfriend sounds exactly like 18 year old boys ever since they invented cars.

Yes, it’s perfectly normal.
But these days plenty become potheads, soy boys, or other stuff and don’t have girlfriends, healthy hobbies, interest in school, or gainful employment.

[Anonymous]

I fail to see the issue.

[Anonymous]

My DH was like this and he's been the best DH and father. He's an introvert, but he's still well spoken and not shy.

[Anonymous]

They are like this because of the world they have inherited. This amount of awareness has come to them because they have seen the fault lines in the society, the stupidity of leaders, the greediness of oligarchs, failure of policies, destruction of democratic institutions and just the shamelessness of the people in power.

Our kids are thinking and living like this because this melting and polluted world is what we gave them. They now know that the selfish generations before them have given them unvaccinated population, terrible pandemic response, huge inequity in medical care, a destroyed Earth, no moral authority, AI, microplastics and war - and they are living like this in response to the nonsense they see around them.

They are cautious, frugal, collaborative, self-sufficient, self-disciplined. Because they have no one to depend on. They are looking at history and the present days and know that they will be left holding the bill, like the generation known as the "greatest generation".

If your kids are so responsible and self-aware then as parents you also must do your part. Support them as much as you can and have a level in preparedness in your own life that reassures them. Take good care of your health, take care of your finances, become community minded and generous.

There are many 18 yr old boys who are vaping, doing drugs, going on InCel sites, turning MAGA, hating on other people in the community, being wasteful, not into education or self-improvement. Thank God that we have these gems as our sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fail to see the issue.

There is none. I think we all are happy with how our sons think and behave. It just gladdens my heart to think that there are others like them.

Another thing - most of these men are also in very healthy and respectful relationships with their SOs, IMHO. They have the dating-to-marry mentality and they are not hasty in choosing partners. They have seen many late 30s and early 40s people who are lonely and have not made a functional family or put in the time in their relationships - and they are doing their best to not be like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And 18 year old boy who likes cars, working out and his girlfriend sounds exactly like 18 year old boys ever since they invented cars.

Yes, it’s perfectly normal.
But these days plenty become potheads, soy boys, or other stuff and don’t have girlfriends, healthy hobbies, interest in school, or gainful employment.

I agree. I also think that the ones who become the loners and potheads, don't have interest in school or employment etc - are the ones who grew up in dysfunctional families and do not have the foundation and scaffolding to do well in this harsh world. Such kids had/have no safety-net. The society is becoming more and more dysfunctional and inequitable. They are also the result of our failing education system. The substandard products of substandard education and dog-eat-dog unfair society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18 year old son is stereotypically masculine and straight & narrow, meaning no drinking or drugs, heterosexual, into cars & working out & his girlfriend. He’s already got the New Balance shoes but thankfully nowhere near a dad bod. How likely is this to change or will he just slide into being a suburban husband/dad after college? I feel like he’s 90 % there. Anyone else here with a son like this? He never really had an “experimental” phase of any sort.

Where do you live? My kid is kind of like that though plays a lot of golf and enjoys parties (but is an athlete so not drinking)...but neither he and none of his friends are into cars. We live in Bethesda and I would say none of us dads are into cars either as it's just not much of a thing anymore these days.

Lol - just how deep in the sand is your head buried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And 18 year old boy who likes cars, working out and his girlfriend sounds exactly like 18 year old boys ever since they invented cars.

Yes, it’s perfectly normal.
But these days plenty become potheads, soy boys, or other stuff and don’t have girlfriends, healthy hobbies, interest in school, or gainful employment.

"soy boys" go back to fox news ffs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations! You have raised a marriageable son.

Your DNA will continue!

👏
Your DNA will continue and thrive!!