If a teacher asks if my child is an only child (they are) what could they have noticed in the classroo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher, and here are some reasons I might have asked this question

1) Your kid is awesome, and you are great to work with I’d love to request a little sibling be placed with me. But since neither your or the kid has mentioned one I am guessing that won’t work. Can’t hurt to ask.

2) There is some downtime. Maybe you are chaperoning a trip and we are seated together on the bus. I am making polite conversation and since your kid has never mentioned a sibling so I am guessing no.

3) Your kid has been telling me absolutely insane stories about their brother or sister and I am 99% sure it’s their imagination but just in case, I’m asking before I praise their creativity.

This tracks. It can be a whole slew of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your kid drew this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

I also think it's this. When I hear adults ask other adults if they were an only child, seldom has it been a compliment.....lol

OP, it can be any of the above mentioned. Only the teacher knows why he/she asked that question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

Very insightful, and it matches what I experienced as a child.

Same for me too. I ended up having a sibling much later on, but I was an only child for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Your child can't share, can't take turns, and wants everything done her way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

I also think it's this. When I hear adults ask other adults if they were an only child, seldom has it been a compliment.....lol

OP, it can be any of the above mentioned. Only the teacher knows why he/she asked that question.

Ding ding, this is the answer

[Anonymous]

I was an only child.
I was surprised at having to share class supplies and toys.
I was impatient if my turn was a long time coming when kids were slow.
I was shy about asking to use the bathroom in front of other kids.
I thought the water fountain was disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

Agreed. DD's best friend is an only child. Whenever DD's little sister joins in to play, the best friend has zero patience for her and complains to me. I definitely let DD have alone time with her friend nearly all of the time, but younger sis is really nice to play with.

I was an only child and don't remember anyone identifying me as an only child. I have zero issues sharing and my life wasn't adult oriented. If anything, my parents made their life very kid centered (They would have liked more children, which isn't always the case with only children parents). I just remember being very lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

LOL. We had an early elementary teacher tell us that only children are often better at sharing and more generous. They don't have to compete for attention or resources at home, they aren't forced to share, and so they are often more willing to do so with friends and classmates.Obviously all generalizations have exceptions; kids' personalities aren't determined by birth order

This matches my observation as an elementary teacher and parent of an only. They assume they will eventually get what they want, because they usually do!

[Anonymous]

She might be trying to say the child is spoiled or SEEMS like they expect to get away with misbehaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

This. The very needy, clingy and entitled people are who i suspect of being only children and every time i ask, im confirmed as accurate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might be trying to say the child is spoiled or SEEMS like they expect to get away with misbehaving.

Seems like poor communication skills if the teacher has never shared any specific (or non specific) behavior concerns about the child

[Anonymous]

I ask kids all the time if they have brothers or sisters, because I’ve been in the school for ages and sometimes kids remind me of someone else, or I am just curious if I taught their sibling. Not because I dislike the kids or sense something about their behavior, but because I adore them and it’s fun to realize you’ve taught multiple kids from a family.

[Anonymous]

Years ago I had a ninth grade class where they couldn't work in groups, despite being wonderful, engaged people otherwise. This class was so different from others I had taught, and it was hard to pinpoint the issue. It all made sense when I learned that 17 of the 24 were only children. This wasn't all negative. They were especially independent, creative, and confident thinkers; they just couldn't work together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. As a kid, everyone always correctly guessed I was an only child. And yet, I was quiet and shy. I still don't get it.

Don't let it get to you, OP.

I always guessed kids like you… I still have a radar. For me, there are 2 things that give it away:
1. Confidence in who they are because they are literally the center of the universe.

2. The fact that they think they are the center of the universe- it’s an air or vibe rather than something spoken. So you don’t have to say a word.

By contrast- I’m the middle- I know no one is looking at me, nor will anyone notice or care about my needs or why I do. Onlys always have someone noticing them. There’s a great amount of freedom in not being noticed.