If a teacher asks if my child is an only child (they are) what could they have noticed in the classroo

[Anonymous]

I probably should have just asked her, but I'm curious - are there telltale signs that a student is an only child (child is in 1st grade if it matters)? I probably fit the stereotype of being a mother of an only child in terms of doing too much for DC. That being said, we've never had any complaints about DC with regards to behavior at school from this or any other teacher.

[Anonymous]

Maybe teacher didn't "notice" it so much as child volunteered the info; or it was in response to a scenario where other kids were talking about their siblings?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. As a kid, everyone always correctly guessed I was an only child. And yet, I was quiet and shy. I still don't get it.

Don't let it get to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

If your child is a daughter, she might be one of you showing up every day in clean matching clothes with her hair done and face washed, for example. My sister, a teacher, said she was always able to identify second and third girls in a family by their hair.

[Anonymous]

It's a compliment. Only children tend to do better in school, better grades and behavior. When you get 100% of your parents' attention vs 50% it really shows.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be paranoid. It doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

I think it's this.

[Anonymous]

The teacher may be wondering if any siblings are coming through.

[Anonymous]

From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

I think it's this.

+1. Yep, that description fit my now tween only child as a younger kid to tee. Incredibly self sufficient and great at understanding expectations from adults, but needed to build resilience and how to let minor things go. We worked very hard on it during elementary, and that effort and just more maturity has helped her outgrow most of it. She still is sensitive to interpersonal matters in ways that you just can’t be growing up with a sibling, but we all have our things.

[Anonymous]

She is low key mean and wants you to feel bad by revealing her stereotypes about only children (whatever they are).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

Children are often not the best reporters of peer behavior. I would actually be concerned if my kids were coming home telling me how they can "always tell an only" because that's a weird fixation on family size, and also most kids don't study each other for clues. They'd just be like "do you have brothers and sisters? I have two."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

Very insightful, and it matches what I experienced as a child.