How do you come to terms with your age in dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

If you are 40, your ideal suitable partner range is 37-43. To increase serious odds, expand it to 36-46.

[Anonymous]

Don’t most people lie about their age when dating?

[Anonymous]

If you are looking for marriage, don't date younger than 38.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

It's not a problem, OP! You'll find that most single DCUM women date much younger. It's not unusual for a 40+ year old DCUMer to have a line of 25 year old hot men wanting to date them. You're already seeing that in this thread. The men aren't just motivated by the prospect of easy casual sex, either. They want long-term commitments. So the world is your oyster! You're probably just making some mistakes in presenting yourself on the apps. Maybe just tweak your bio and pics, and you'll be swimming in dozens of hot young men in no time!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bald men can be sexy and men with grey hair can be sexy. Men who look older can be sexy. Even men who are a bit chubby can be sexy. I knew a man who was all of those things and he was wildly sexy. Dress well, smell good, take some minimal care of your skin. It’s men who have let themselves go completely and look horrible and dress horrible and then expect attractive women to date them.

Op here. You are correct! A bald fit man who dresses well and is well spoken is incredibly attractive. It’s that many have let themselves go! Due to single fatherhood or depression or something.

I’m told I’m a 7 or 8 out of 10. I take care of myself and look and feel young. I’m not asking for too much expecting to be with a normal attractive man in his 40s.

Just aim young like your maturity level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

I am in roughly the same boat as you. I still feel sharp and I stay relatively fit at 42 (even coached GOTR last year). But am only attracted to guys in their mid to late 20s.

Problem with the guys in their 40s is they look so old! Many are starting to go bald! The ones who still have hair also have grey hairs. Lots of them have some wrinkles already. Few of them are in shape (aka the Dad bod). Nobody wants that.

Op here. Yes!! I don’t know why 40 something single men are in such bad state. Most are bald! They have wrinkled faces and they also don’t work out. On top of that, they don’t know how to dress themselves. I really want to be with someone my age or older but…they’re making themselves not attractive.

Men cannot control being bald just like they cannot control for height.

Bald, gray, short, with wrinkles and a Dad bod. Very common demographic around here but keep looking OP. You're still very young. You'll find someone better who is still your age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

It's not a problem, OP! You'll find that most single DCUM women date much younger. It's not unusual for a 40+ year old DCUMer to have a line of 25 year old hot men wanting to date them. You're already seeing that in this thread. The men aren't just motivated by the prospect of easy casual sex, either. They want long-term commitments. So the world is your oyster! You're probably just making some mistakes in presenting yourself on the apps. Maybe just tweak your bio and pics, and you'll be swimming in dozens of hot young men in no time!!

I love you
But as a married 40 year old woman who has actually gotten IRL attention from men young enough to be my son, it is immediately obvious that they are looking for a mommy. Not the kind of relationship normal people want.

[Anonymous]

Men are horrible!

[Anonymous]

Same here at 44. I would like to meet someone on here so they can know what a younger 44 looks like you would not be able to distinguish me from a 25-year-old. I bet you $1,000. But it's not because I upkeep actually the reverse. I'm too lazy to upkeep. I think it's just genetics. But also like you I don't find them attractive unless they are well maintained and I like tall men always have. But it is kind of funny because the man I'm currently talking to is 37 but he acts like he is in his 50s sometimes and I'm more attracted to less serious types. Because I'm the same way I'm less serious. And my voice also is very high and feminine. I find men like that a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

It's not a problem, OP! You'll find that most single DCUM women date much younger. It's not unusual for a 40+ year old DCUMer to have a line of 25 year old hot men wanting to date them. You're already seeing that in this thread. The men aren't just motivated by the prospect of easy casual sex, either. They want long-term commitments. So the world is your oyster! You're probably just making some mistakes in presenting yourself on the apps. Maybe just tweak your bio and pics, and you'll be swimming in dozens of hot young men in no time!!

I love you
But as a married 40 year old woman who has actually gotten IRL attention from men young enough to be my son, it is immediately obvious that they are looking for a mommy. Not the kind of relationship normal people want.

Yeah I feel you even though you're married. I'm single, never married but it gives me the ick when a younger guy who's not even that young. He's 30 says that how I would feel with a younger guy satisfying me makes me gag.

[Anonymous]

I'm the kind of guy OP says she cannot get attracted to. I don't think OP needs to change anything. Like OP, I find it hard to get attracted to most potential partners my age or older. So I usually date women who are younger. Fortunately, there are quite a few women who are very physically attracted to men ten or twenty years older. (I don't think there is anything wrong with OP, but OP might be pleasantly surprised if she actually gives one of us old guys a chance--she wouldn't be the first woman to change her mind on this after taking a chance.)

That said, I have been very attracted to a few women my age. When I'm attracted to a woman my age and she is also attracted to me, it's fantastic.

[Anonymous]

45yo man. I'm in great shape and look about 32-35. Unless I grow my beard in, which is gray. So I stay clean shaven and lie my a$$ off about my age.

Works like a charm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 and date younger. Current Bf is 30, dated as young as 25.

I workout, get Botox, maintain my hair, etc. So I want a man who also looks good.

what is your size and do you just want to date/sex or something meaningful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

We’ll set your preferences to your actual preferences. One of them will like you

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you should date younger guys. ❤️‍🔥