Getting cold shoulder from other parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I take my 2 year old son to outings like playgrounds, play rooms, and libraries a lot. I notice that other parents often give me the cold shoulder. Like for instance, at the playground, if their child is getting in my son’s space they’ll say “Give him space, Johnny” while never making eye contact me or addressing me or my son. It’s like everyone just wants to stay in their bubble. I often try to at least make eye contact and smile when I encounter other parents but they look past me.

Is this normal or is it just me? I’m not weird, dirty, or unattractive looking.

My kids are older but I remember this. I always thought it was because they didn't want to be interpreted as disciplining or directing your child, only their own.

This. And sometimes they are hoping you do the same too, OP, if your child is hogging something for longer than socially acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. DC is the only place I’ve ever seen where wanting to get to know someone is seen as an insult or some great offense. And then people whine about how they have no friends or “village.” You did it to yourself, you lot.

Totally agree. I really do think it has something to do with work obsession and being overly status conscious. Even in NY and LA, parents tend to be friendlier towards each other. There is something wrong with people here.

"I'm too tired to acknowledge the existence of other people" sounds like a mental health crisis. Here it's just Tuesday.

For real. Your life isn’t that stressful and exhausting that you can’t make small talk on the playground for 10-15 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks, OP isn't asking for friends or socializing. She finds it weird that these people don't engage with her at all, even when their children are interacting at a playground. She describes people as just looking past her. That's super anti-social.

I think parents should view one another like work colleagues. If you went to the office and refused to make eye contact or exchange greetings with coworkers, you would right be considered anti-social and rude. You don't have to be friends with coworkers or hang out with them after work. But you should figure out how to interact with them in a pleasant way while you are at work.

Well, when you are a parent, part of the job is playgrounds, and pick-up/drop-off at school, camp, and activities. People should learn to make eye contact, smile, even make idle chit chat with the parents you see in these places. You will often be seeing the same parents for years and years -- that woman you pretended did not exist at the neighborhood playground when your kids will 2? Guess what, five years later the two of you will be stuck sitting near each other for 3 hours at a soccer tournament or the 2nd grade zoo field trip or something. Go ahead and learn her freaking name and acknowledge her existence like a human being.

Were some of you raised by wolves or something?

AGREED!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. DC is the only place I’ve ever seen where wanting to get to know someone is seen as an insult or some great offense. And then people whine about how they have no friends or “village.” You did it to yourself, you lot.

This. It’s not you OP. DC playground culture is completely strange.

[Anonymous]

Oh no

[Anonymous]

They're giving you the cold shoulder because they think you're not properly disciplining your child.

There are rules of every playground. Unspoken rules. Are you noticing them or following them? Is your kid shoving other kids? If they are, are you making sure to properly correct them, "Johnny, we don't hit." "Johnny, let's let Larlo have a turn." Or whatever. If this is happening in a lot of different settings, there are likely unspoken rules you are not picking up on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son extra energetic? It sounds like parents are concerned he might get a little rough and they’re trying to keep their kid from getting clobbered without actually saying anything to/about your son.

I think this is it. Your kid is too rough.

So typical dcum, suddenly your child is a hyperactive bully!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're giving you the cold shoulder because they think you're not properly disciplining your child.

There are rules of every playground. Unspoken rules. Are you noticing them or following them? Is your kid shoving other kids? If they are, are you making sure to properly correct them, "Johnny, we don't hit." "Johnny, let's let Larlo have a turn." Or whatever. If this is happening in a lot of different settings, there are likely unspoken rules you are not picking up on.

You have trouble with reading comprehension. The OP said the other parents are telling their own child, Johnny, to give the OP’s child space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're giving you the cold shoulder because they think you're not properly disciplining your child.

There are rules of every playground. Unspoken rules. Are you noticing them or following them? Is your kid shoving other kids? If they are, are you making sure to properly correct them, "Johnny, we don't hit." "Johnny, let's let Larlo have a turn." Or whatever. If this is happening in a lot of different settings, there are likely unspoken rules you are not picking up on.

You have trouble with reading comprehension. The OP said the other parents are telling their own child, Johnny, to give the OP’s child space.

Right. They can't, politely tell her kid anything, so they're telling their own kid to get away from a kid who's playing too rough.