Getting cold shoulder from other parents

[Anonymous]

I take my 2 year old son to outings like playgrounds, play rooms, and libraries a lot. I notice that other parents often give me the cold shoulder. Like for instance, at the playground, if their child is getting in my son’s space they’ll say “Give him space, Johnny” while never making eye contact me or addressing me or my son. It’s like everyone just wants to stay in their bubble. I often try to at least make eye contact and smile when I encounter other parents but they look past me.

Is this normal or is it just me? I’m not weird, dirty, or unattractive looking.

[Anonymous]

It’s not normal but it is extremely common. People have lost the ability to socialize. It’s not intentionally towards you, everyone is just trapped in their own bubble.

I always initiate the conversation. Most parents are actually dying for conversation with another adult.

[Anonymous]

Are people lost in their phones when not interacting with their own child? Like a pp said, we’ve all lost the inclination and perhaps even ability to connect. Make an effort to talk to people, it would be awesome if someone did that with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I take my 2 year old son to outings like playgrounds, play rooms, and libraries a lot. I notice that other parents often give me the cold shoulder. Like for instance, at the playground, if their child is getting in my son’s space they’ll say “Give him space, Johnny” while never making eye contact me or addressing me or my son. It’s like everyone just wants to stay in their bubble. I often try to at least make eye contact and smile when I encounter other parents but they look past me.

Is this normal or is it just me? I’m not weird, dirty, or unattractive looking.

My kids are older but I remember this. I always thought it was because they didn't want to be interpreted as disciplining or directing your child, only their own.

[Anonymous]

Is your son extra energetic? It sounds like parents are concerned he might get a little rough and they’re trying to keep their kid from getting clobbered without actually saying anything to/about your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal but it is extremely common. People have lost the ability to socialize. It’s not intentionally towards you, everyone is just trapped in their own bubble.

I always initiate the conversation. Most parents are actually dying for conversation with another adult.

This.
You need to speak up. If someone tells their child to give yours space you can smile and say “ no hes fine, they can play together” or something similar. You are brjng part of the problem too OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your son extra energetic? It sounds like parents are concerned he might get a little rough and they’re trying to keep their kid from getting clobbered without actually saying anything to/about your son.

I think this is it. Your kid is too rough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your son extra energetic? It sounds like parents are concerned he might get a little rough and they’re trying to keep their kid from getting clobbered without actually saying anything to/about your son.

I think this is it. Your kid is too rough.

+1

Also why do you think they are obligated to socialize with you?

If you’re desperate for human contact, why don’t YOU act friendly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I take my 2 year old son to outings like playgrounds, play rooms, and libraries a lot. I notice that other parents often give me the cold shoulder. Like for instance, at the playground, if their child is getting in my son’s space they’ll say “Give him space, Johnny” while never making eye contact me or addressing me or my son. It’s like everyone just wants to stay in their bubble. I often try to at least make eye contact and smile when I encounter other parents but they look past me.

Is this normal or is it just me? I’m not weird, dirty, or unattractive looking.

My kids are older but I remember this. I always thought it was because they didn't want to be interpreted as disciplining or directing your child, only their own.

That’s my guess as well.

[Anonymous]

I didn't make friends with too many on the playground. My ex would have cursed me out and even worse. Glad the kid was allowed outside.

[Anonymous]

Parents are just people. Just because you gave birth around the same time doesn’t mean they will necessarily treat you any differently than if you were passing by any other person on the street.

I have 3 kids. Oldest are now teens. I moved to dc with a toddler and used to feel bad not really connecting with other moms. Even when we did talk at a park or play space and the occasional exchange of numbers led to nothing.

Over the next decade, I made many friends. Yes, they are mostly parents. I am mostly friends with people I would have been friends with before we had kids.

[Anonymous]

Folks, OP isn't asking for friends or socializing. She finds it weird that these people don't engage with her at all, even when their children are interacting at a playground. She describes people as just looking past her. That's super anti-social.

I think parents should view one another like work colleagues. If you went to the office and refused to make eye contact or exchange greetings with coworkers, you would right be considered anti-social and rude. You don't have to be friends with coworkers or hang out with them after work. But you should figure out how to interact with them in a pleasant way while you are at work.

Well, when you are a parent, part of the job is playgrounds, and pick-up/drop-off at school, camp, and activities. People should learn to make eye contact, smile, even make idle chit chat with the parents you see in these places. You will often be seeing the same parents for years and years -- that woman you pretended did not exist at the neighborhood playground when your kids will 2? Guess what, five years later the two of you will be stuck sitting near each other for 3 hours at a soccer tournament or the 2nd grade zoo field trip or something. Go ahead and learn her freaking name and acknowledge her existence like a human being.

Were some of you raised by wolves or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks, OP isn't asking for friends or socializing. She finds it weird that these people don't engage with her at all, even when their children are interacting at a playground. She describes people as just looking past her. That's super anti-social.

I think parents should view one another like work colleagues. If you went to the office and refused to make eye contact or exchange greetings with coworkers, you would right be considered anti-social and rude. You don't have to be friends with coworkers or hang out with them after work. But you should figure out how to interact with them in a pleasant way while you are at work.

Well, when you are a parent, part of the job is playgrounds, and pick-up/drop-off at school, camp, and activities. People should learn to make eye contact, smile, even make idle chit chat with the parents you see in these places. You will often be seeing the same parents for years and years -- that woman you pretended did not exist at the neighborhood playground when your kids will 2? Guess what, five years later the two of you will be stuck sitting near each other for 3 hours at a soccer tournament or the 2nd grade zoo field trip or something. Go ahead and learn her freaking name and acknowledge her existence like a human being.

Were some of you raised by wolves or something?

Whatever. And then when you do that you invariably get invited to join someone's church, or handed their real estate agent card, or something else unwanted. The too friendly are often too friendly for a reason. Slow your roll.

[Anonymous]

People in the DMV are wildly insecure and cover that with being standoff-ish. Don't take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with PP that the insecurities are off the charts in this area. But I still think you should keep your same energy of being a genuinely kind and mature adult. Don’t let their negative vibes change how you conduct yourself. Think of it this way, being in this area for a while can result in someone behaving this way when they keep encountering it…it’s like you start to internalize it and then you morph into it. Don’t let that be you. There are other warm and fun people here and you will eventually stumble upon one another soon.