Struggling to Fit In

[Anonymous]

"Yep, I wear tighty whities. They are dorky but comfortable and I'm gonna keep wearing them!"




Sure, that's a great line! But I wouldn't recommend it to a shy, sensitive, mostly out only online 12-year-old boy. Isn't this an awkward age for most kids?

[Anonymous]

Did you lend him a pair of your panties to see if he feels comfortable wearing them?

[Anonymous]

Was he embarrassed because he thinks wearing briefs makes him look feminine? Does his cousin think tightie whities are gay?

The assumption is the vast majority of men who wear white briefs are straight. Most gay men would not wear them unless it’s a fetish...

[Anonymous]

Our DS is also a nice kid trying to survive the cliques, peer pressure and bullying of middle school. We happen to be two mothers raising a small-for-his age boy adopted from Asia. He is the only Asian kid in his class and we worry about stereotypes since he doesn't play sports and is amazing at math.

As for underpants, he likes briefs and boxers never seemed right for him. Admittedly, since we are both women, we aren't exactly experts in underwear for boys, haha. But we can never understand how all these other mommies seem to have gotten a memo that their son needs to switch to boxers in fifth grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a nice 12-year-old whose favorite subject is art class and I would say he does seem more creative and more sensitive than other boys his age.

Meanwhile my nephew is ten, plays ice hockey and is popular at his school. He sometimes giggles at my son because he thinks he seems a little, well, gay. My son usually just shrugs off my nephew and doesn't let it bother him. Over the Christmas break, I spent a night in the hotel room with the two boys. The kids had been getting along really well but then it was time to get ready for bed. My nephew stripped down to his boxers and my son got worried when he realized he forgot to pack his pajamas. I whispered to him that it was okay, he could just sleep in t-shirt and underwear like his cousin.

When my son came out of the bathroom, my nephew laughed, "Nice tighty whities!" My son blushed and rolled his eyes. Even though my nephew was just messing with him, my son was very embarrassed and hated looking uncool in front of a younger cousin. I'm afraid my son will likely face more incidents like this in middle school and high school and it seems so unfair.

Most of his friends still think there is something wrong with being gay or at least that it is second best to being straight. What's your advice?

Wait — has your son ever told you he thinks he’s gay? It sounds like you’re making assumptions based on his personality.

Also, your nephew is being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Get the kid some boxer briefs!

[Anonymous]

"Wait — has your son ever told you he thinks he’s gay? It sounds like you’re making assumptions based on his personality.

Also, your nephew is being a jerk. "

Op here. Yep, DS is still semi-closeted largely due to privacy and safety reasons and is mostly out only online in comfortable spaces. It is heartbreaking to me that he is missing out on the typical social life of a 12-year-old just because of his orientation. He is shy and complains that no one is that friendly at his school. Meanwhile, people tell me what a polite, great kid he seems to be. Deserves so much better!

Well, my nephew is still only ten. Don't you think most ten-year-olds can be jerks or too quick to dismissive anything that seems too gay? I have noticed boys at that age giggling at a waiter who was too flouncy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the kid some boxer briefs!

Well, I think we need to accept that many gay and queer kids will not appreciate the underwear that most other kids wear. My DS is a freshman in high school and if asked if I should buy boxer briefs or regular briefs would say,

Briefs hands down! That extra thigh fabric is totally worthless! 🩲😈👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DS is also a nice kid trying to survive the cliques, peer pressure and bullying of middle school. We happen to be two mothers raising a small-for-his age boy adopted from Asia. He is the only Asian kid in his class and we worry about stereotypes since he doesn't play sports and is amazing at math.

As for underpants, he likes briefs and boxers never seemed right for him. Admittedly, since we are both women, we aren't exactly experts in underwear for boys, haha. But we can never understand how all these other mommies seem to have gotten a memo that their son needs to switch to boxers in fifth grade.

In all honesty, as stupid as this may sound, I think you should invest in a few pairs of boxers for your DS. Your little guy sounds utterly adorable and very smart to boot.

But fifth grade teasing is a real thing and it sucks! Having two mommies and being labeled a math nerd can be a lot to deal with and I wouldn't give the mean kids something else to tease him about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Your little guy sounds utterly adorable and very smart to boot.

Thanks, a lot of people still think it's surprising that two white women could adopt an Asian boy.

For the past two years, DS has been taking ballet class. He wears a white t-shirt and short black shorts and boxers wouldn't work under those!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I think we need to accept that many gay and queer kids will not appreciate the underwear that most other kids wear.

Yes, I would agree. Boxers are overrated anyway!

Boys don't have to like sports anymore, girls don't have to play with dolls, and there's nothing wrong with wearing the underwear that makes you the most comfortable.

My DS is a bi kid in high school who still wears briefs. Much better having everything supported.

The boys in his gym class are not bullying him. He says that if guys in the locker room like you, you will get some friendly comments about Tighty Whities. If they don't like you, then expect a typical response.

[Anonymous]

What you might be missing is that the gay person in the story could be your nephew, not your son.

I know something about that kind of POS behavior. In high school I bullied gay people constantly. At the time, I thought I just hated them. In reality, their existence was a threat to mine because a lot of that hostility came from not wanting to face the possibility in myself.

Oh, the irony! Turns out the joke was on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in the lgbtqia forum?

The OP is some troll getting his jollies off writing erotically stimulating fiction.

[Anonymous]

I can relate to this type of situation.

Kids everywhere are very good at sniffing out who is straight and who isn’t. You don’t have to advertise your orientation but you probably also can’t hide it. It’s nothing indeed that needs be hidden, in my opinion.

My DS was nervous about being bullied. He switched to boxers in the seventh grade just because of the peer pressure in the school locker room. But guess what? He decided he wanted to go back to jockey underwear as a senior in high school. He no longer cared as much what other people thought!

[Anonymous]

I went to middle school and high school in the mid 2000’s.

When I was in HS everyone wore boxers, only a small handful of guys wore boxer briefs. I never saw briefs outside of the track team. I’m glad briefs are back in the mainstream but when I was younger you couldn’t be caught dead in briefs… or be endlessly teased and bullied!