Managing teen boundaries with mentally ill grandparent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when people act out of the ordinary (and well people do too), they get blocked.

What’s “out of the ordinary” about texting your grandchild that you miss them?

Oh read the post FFS. First of all, no adult should text any child during the school day at all, let alone expecting a response. Second, it's the escalation that's the real problem. Third, the context of a bad/weird relationship with OP's DH makes the whole thing fraught and all the more important for grandma to behave appropriately and not like a weird obsessive.

[Anonymous]

Missing kids is Granny's cross to bear.
Block her.
She's nuts.
DH is scarred and an enabler.
Protect the kids. Or he will turn into nutty Dad and Gramps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing kids is Granny's cross to bear.
Block her.
She's nuts.
DH is scarred and an enabler.
Protect the kids. Or he will turn into nutty Dad and Gramps.

Teens should be able to forge their own relationships with their grandparents, especially when they had relationships growing up

[Anonymous]

You will need to be in in some family therapy. Because at some point, you all should’ve had a very Frank conversation about how grandma’s mind is not working properly and though she may love you, she may do and say some things that aren’t healthy and your husband just needs to learn how to deal with the fact that his mother is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
BLOCK HER!

[Anonymous]

You're talking about a teen here - OP I'd let the kid block her. I wouldn't do it for your teen. This is a huge learning moment about boundaries. And with people like this it's typically actually best not to state the boundaries first (unlike with normal people). Just enforce them.

[Anonymous]

I think you/DH should tell her "the kids want a relationship with you that doesn't involve texting" and then add what they're comfortable with - a once a month call, a lunch once a month, whatever. Then block her texts.

[Anonymous]

Block her and tell her to stop contacting children during the school day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your replies. To be clear, the kids and I have discussed blocking her for now, and they are very concerned that their dad will be upset with them for blocking her. I have assured them that I have their backs and it wouldn’t be “wrong”, but I’d love any advice you have on reassuring them.

OP

So what you actually have is a DH problem. He needs to put his children first, before his mommy. Tell him to man up and be a father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing kids is Granny's cross to bear.
Block her.
She's nuts.
DH is scarred and an enabler.
Protect the kids. Or he will turn into nutty Dad and Gramps.

Teens should be able to forge their own relationships with their grandparents, especially when they had relationships growing up

And the teens don't want to. Oh well.