Judging the heck out of my friend for dating a guy she doesn't really like, and continually picking him over friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The whole situation makes me sick. So many red flags (he has kids who all have very serious issues). I didn’t want him in my house or to know where I lived!

That's just genetics, OP. Your friend's kid can't catch ADHD or autism! But your friend needs to be careful about any boyfriend she brings home, regarding pedophilia. It has nothing to do with the ADHD/autism thing, it's just an added worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The whole situation makes me sick. So many red flags (he has kids who all have very serious issues). I didn’t want him in my house or to know where I lived!

That's just genetics, OP. Your friend's kid can't catch ADHD or autism! But your friend needs to be careful about any boyfriend she brings home, regarding pedophilia. It has nothing to do with the ADHD/autism thing, it's just an added worry.

Like, the kids pee on things in the house.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t you met people who claim not to like someone much but likely more by actions than let on?

[Anonymous]

Wow, there is zero logic to what your friend is doing w/her life now.

Sounds to me like she is equating great sex = great relationship yet nothing could be further from the truth!

As a good friend you may be better off by stepping back a little during this time while hoping that she comes to her senses really soon.

Have you talked to her about your opinion on this??
Some people in her position may get really offended if a friend tries to talk to them about their true feelings for their romantic partners.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I saw a little bit of my last relationship in this post. I was dating a guy who had some issues, including inattentive ADD and some minor hoarding. In my case, I stayed in part because I'm concerned that his issues stem from grief over his mother's death. I also worried that I was an important social outlet for him and he didn't have many. Ultimately it wasn't enough and I dumped him. Your friend may have complex reasons for sticking around. She may also be codependent. Either way, if you don't want him showing up, you probably need to stop inviting her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw a little bit of my last relationship in this post. I was dating a guy who had some issues, including inattentive ADD and some minor hoarding. In my case, I stayed in part because I'm concerned that his issues stem from grief over his mother's death. I also worried that I was an important social outlet for him and he didn't have many. Ultimately it wasn't enough and I dumped him. Your friend may have complex reasons for sticking around. She may also be codependent. Either way, if you don't want him showing up, you probably need to stop inviting her.

Yes, I always invited her over and her daughter that I’m going to stop that because it’s just too awkward to say that you can come, but the boyfriend can’t.

She is absolutely thinking that great sex equals a great relationship. She says they’re completely in love and that she totally loves him. (but also really hates these big parts of his personal personality so whatever.)

I will step back and let it run its course. I suspect he is going to want to move in with her or have her move in with him before the end of the school year. He is going to want this locked away before the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously she does like him. Why can’t you be friends with her bc she’s dating someone you don’t like? I think the only thing your judgy face will ruin is your friendship, but you don’t seem like you like your friend that much anyway.

Because she brings him places uninvited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't her mother, even if you were, there isn't much you can do so hold your peace and manage your boundaries.

You don’t raise your friends? I feel personally responsible for all my friends’ life choices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise her to drop him or get him a job and ADHD meds if she wants to keep him. May be she is lonely and overwhelmed with job, home and parenting and just wants a partner, any partner?

She has told him herself that he needs to change (help her, clean his own house, etc) and he said he not going to change. I actually give him credit for owning up to himself.

He’s not a partner to her…he’s a drag. But he’s company. He’s not even cute hahahah.

Hilariously autistic behavior. How does he have a house and how bad is it Op? Can you do recon?

[Anonymous]

Next time she brings up not liking him ask her what her intentions are and is this a temporary fwb situation and if she is open to meeting other men still. I’d be curious as to her answers to those questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is dating a guy she doesn't even really like...except for the "intimacy" which she claims is mind blowing. She also says he's funny. BUT he doesn't have a job, she pays for everything (she's a single mother), and apparently he is some kind of ADHD anxious hoarder. She doesn't see or want a future with him.

BUT YET...she introduced him to her daughter (of whom she is EXTREMELY protective), her family, and lately she has been bringing him along to our outings...which are typically ladies only (like Sunday wine days). She also has brought him to my house, unexpectedly. I thought she was coming by and they both walked in; I was in pajamas.

I want to be supportive and I don't want my extremely judgemental face to ruin this. She obviously told me in confidence all the reasons she doesn't like him. But yet, now I want to scream into the abyss...LET HIM GO!
How on earth do I remain a good friend while watching her go down this path?

mind your own business, and be happy for her that she is getting laid a lot and that it is mind blowing. how is your own sex life - perhaps work on that?