College kids reverting to helpless teens at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is independent at school, but likes to be "pampered" at home. For example, kid and I will be watching a show together and if I get up to go to the bathroom, kid asks for a snack. Kid will put laundry in my basket, etc. When kid was a freshman, I overheard during a Facetime, kid tell roommate they can't wait to get home to be pampered. I suspect that is a very normal feeling.

+1

This is very much how I felt when I was home for college breaks, and I expect to do the same with my DC next year.

To be clear, summer breaks were quite different. After a week or so of recovering from exam exhaustion, things went back to normal.

But I was an exhausted mess for the first week of winter break. Often sick, too. The end of semester push was depleting!

Last thought: home was where I could let my hair down and not have to “keep it together” all the time. Does not excuse rudeness or anything like that. But reverting to helplessness the first week or two of winter break? Yes. Acts of love (taking care of things I could usually do myself) = nurturing for me.

By the way, my parents were the same during my first year of BigLaw (!!!) Yes, I was a full grown adult by then. AND I was often exhausted and depleted when they saw me. A little TLC went a long way. I do the same now for my teens when I sense they’re burned out and exhausted.

[Anonymous]

They are soaking up "mommy time".

[Anonymous]

I get things on trays. Breakfast on a tray. Teas on a tray. Snacks on a tray. This never happened until I went to college. I will probably be doing this to my children.

[Anonymous]

They are back home ballers.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I love to baby my kids when they come home. Adulting is hard. I remember being the same way when I came home.

[Anonymous]

DS is a junior -- this is the first break where he will be at home for the entire 4 weeks. He slept for 18 hours. He shared before he came home he hand an intense scheduled between thanksgiving and winter break and he just wanted to be home. I agree with PP -- there is something about being at home letting his guard down. He asks before borrowing the car and while out he will stop by the grocery store. He cleans up the kitchen after dinner. I enjoy having him home and pampering him some. We enjoy hanging out. I see this as one of the last times where he will be home for an extended period....enjoy the moment.

[Anonymous]

I bring my DS to my kindergarten class and that cures any of that issue. He sees how exhausting it is for me at work and voila! He makes dinner, empties the dishwasher, runs the vacuum etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD home and is being delightful! Cooked dinner, went to store, lets us know when she will be out and home.

Are you bragging? Simply celebrating? Subtly telling people that your kid is better than theirs, or that you are a better parent? People fascinate me.

I’m answering the question asked which was are you experiencing this? We’re not. Or are we only allowed to answer in one direction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is independent at school, but likes to be "pampered" at home. For example, kid and I will be watching a show together and if I get up to go to the bathroom, kid asks for a snack. Kid will put laundry in my basket, etc. When kid was a freshman, I overheard during a Facetime, kid tell roommate they can't wait to get home to be pampered. I suspect that is a very normal feeling.

+1

This is very much how I felt when I was home for college breaks, and I expect to do the same with my DC next year.

To be clear, summer breaks were quite different. After a week or so of recovering from exam exhaustion, things went back to normal.

But I was an exhausted mess for the first week of winter break. Often sick, too. The end of semester push was depleting!

Last thought: home was where I could let my hair down and not have to “keep it together” all the time. Does not excuse rudeness or anything like that. But reverting to helplessness the first week or two of winter break? Yes. Acts of love (taking care of things I could usually do myself) = nurturing for me.

By the way, my parents were the same during my first year of BigLaw (!!!) Yes, I was a full grown adult by then. AND I was often exhausted and depleted when they saw me. A little TLC went a long way. I do the same now for my teens when I sense they’re burned out and exhausted.

Sounds like you have kind parents and are a kind, thoughtful parent as a result. I love this. It is really not that much effort to let the college kids recover and not require too much of them during a short break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get things on trays. Breakfast on a tray. Teas on a tray. Snacks on a tray. This never happened until I went to college. I will probably be doing this to my children.

I love your parents for this. Definitely do it for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SNL did a whole thing on this. I think about it all the time when they’re home.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWH1F-caM8

[Anonymous]

Yes. My college kid does this a bit. But honestly I don’t really care. I’m happy to do their laundry and make their meals etc while they are home on break. The college years go by fast and before long they will hardly ever (hopefully!) be back under your roof so are you really going to regret this extra mothering? I know I won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is independent at school, but likes to be "pampered" at home. For example, kid and I will be watching a show together and if I get up to go to the bathroom, kid asks for a snack. Kid will put laundry in my basket, etc. When kid was a freshman, I overheard during a Facetime, kid tell roommate they can't wait to get home to be pampered. I suspect that is a very normal feeling.

+1

This is very much how I felt when I was home for college breaks, and I expect to do the same with my DC next year.

To be clear, summer breaks were quite different. After a week or so of recovering from exam exhaustion, things went back to normal.

But I was an exhausted mess for the first week of winter break. Often sick, too. The end of semester push was depleting!

Last thought: home was where I could let my hair down and not have to “keep it together” all the time. Does not excuse rudeness or anything like that. But reverting to helplessness the first week or two of winter break? Yes. Acts of love (taking care of things I could usually do myself) = nurturing for me.

By the way, my parents were the same during my first year of BigLaw (!!!) Yes, I was a full grown adult by then. AND I was often exhausted and depleted when they saw me. A little TLC went a long way. I do the same now for my teens when I sense they’re burned out and exhausted.

Sounds like you have kind parents and are a kind, thoughtful parent as a result. I love this. It is really not that much effort to let the college kids recover and not require too much of them during a short break.

Thank you for saying this. Timely reminder to thank my parents when I see them this week. 💗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you experiencing this? My kids are very capable and on the ball and handle their lives just fine away at college. Freshman and senior. But then they come home and they act like they are fresh out of the womb and know nothing about anything or how to do anything and I hear "mom mom mom" all day long. Maybe it's just me.

It’s not just you! Different issues but things aren’t peachy keen hanging with a sweet young adult every night baking cookies! Hang in there and push back as needed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bring my DS to my kindergarten class and that cures any of that issue. He sees how exhausting it is for me at work and voila! He makes dinner, empties the dishwasher, runs the vacuum etc.

You class has been out for at least 4 days, right ??