Avoid holiday with family only because of sister and her bf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

What are the racist things that this man says? That he thinks immigration laws should be enforced? That has nothing to do with your biracial kids and you go. And then you should think about how you judge people based on your political beliefs. Other overt racism? OK, maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

What are the racist things that this man says? That he thinks immigration laws should be enforced? That has nothing to do with your biracial kids and you go. And then you should think about how you judge people based on your political beliefs. Other overt racism? OK, maybe not.

PP with biracial kids. Nope, nope, nope. You judge people on their actions. Overt racism results in ugly words and actions. NEVER OK. Why don't people understand this?????????????????????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

What are the racist things that this man says? That he thinks immigration laws should be enforced? That has nothing to do with your biracial kids and you go. And then you should think about how you judge people based on your political beliefs. Other overt racism? OK, maybe not.

PP with biracial kids. Nope, nope, nope. You judge people on their actions. Overt racism results in ugly words and actions. NEVER OK. Why don't people understand this?????????????????????

I think you missed the point that the PP was trying to make. If it’s a difference of opinion on policies that reasonable people could disagree about then you just need to get over it. People are allowed to have different opinions. Now if the dude is being overly racist then that’s a different story altogether especially with your children involved. OP has not provided any examples of his offensive comments so it’s difficult to say whether she should avoid the party or not. My strong belief is that avoiding social interactions is not a way to build strong healthy societies. Even if you disagree with people, you still need to learn to live with them in most cases. Not in all cases, most cases.

[Anonymous]

Op, you do not need to be around him, not with 30 people there

[Anonymous]

Don’t attend
Stop following them/him on social
Media

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

It sounds like they're keyboard warriors, I wouldn't skip Christmas over them. Just mingle with others.

Yes to this. My maga BIL doesn’t say anything in real life. I still avoid him at family gatherings bc I can’t stand him, but that’s easy to do. Especially at a party with 30. Don’t deny yourself a holiday party or your kids the rest of the family. Don’t let him win.

💯

[Anonymous]

OP back again, thanks for the advice.
To answer some questions: the host of the event is an extended family member and probably has no idea about my sisters bf (extended family has met him once). My parents know and don’t want to get involved (basically said they can’t ban someone from another persons house).

I’m not going to list all the things he’s said. But yes he’s a huge keyboard warrior. The guy is a big time MAGA. I’m not debating whether MAGA = racist, but some examples that I’ve seen either on his social media or his very close friends/family (I do not follow him anymore) :
- Bunch of very gross memes surrounding black people voting for Harris but not Earle-Sears for VA governor (he is white)
- Tons of posts about Mamdani is going to ruin NY, gross memes equating the election win to 9/11, women under sharia law etc etc
- His friends have a weird fixation with Obama (why are we still talking about his birth certificate, stuff like that)
- also a fixation on Michelle Obama (“big Mike” meme, comparing her to the predator - again really gross stuff.

Also a huge DOGe fan, thinks all feds are lazy and my family has a lot of federal workers in it.


-

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should attend to see your relatives. I say this, when I told another OP yesterday that her own parents barely deserved a few minutes of visit time because they were unabashed MAGA. She is coming home to visit both in-laws and parents.

But this is different: you are going to see a large group of people and only one is morally in the wrong, and he's not even your blood relative. You don't need to greet him, or talk much to your sister. Just hang out with the others.

Absolutely not
And the host condones racists soap if your sister is invited why the hrll would you go??

This is a hard no your kids deserve better find your brain take care of your kids!!!

Agree. Why should your kids be subjected to a racist ahole on Christmas or his pathetic enablers -ie your sister and your parents. My guess is that they are secretly rascist too. Your kids deserve better on Christmas.