Is there any way of knowing if a woman will keep her strong libido over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

can she masturbate herself to orgasm?

and talk about it?

that is the number one sign that a women will maintain her drive, that she can give herself an orgasm with no shame.

Yes, this. We were going through a bit of a rough patch a few years ago. She got a toy that was great for her, but she was worried I might feel insecure that she enjoyed it more than she enjoyed me. So we talked about it and then started using the toy together. What a difference that made - things are so much better now.

[Anonymous]

My fiancé and I have discussed this pretty extensively because we are both divorced from people who refused sex pretty early on. Neither of us want to go through that again. The "duty" question PP suggested is a critical one, IMHO. If the person doesn't believe that sex is a core element of marriage and isn't willing to take action to remedy something causing them or their spouse to not want to share sex, that's a bad sign.

[Anonymous]

If that's your biggest concern please don't get married. Just date and have sex.

[Anonymous]

The number of people responding that you are a bad person for even asking this shows that you touched a nerve.

There's probably not a great way to know for sure because life is so unpredictable in general. The PP who suggested looking at whether she enjoys masturbation and can talk about it is probably on as good a track as there is.

And, despite what some of the PPs suggest, you can't control her libido. Even if you stay fit and make an effort to be a good partner, it's entirely possible that she'll lose interest in sex for reasons that aren't your fault. So don't let them bullshit you into thinking that sex is a function of how good a partner you are. That's not how the world works. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

[Anonymous]

OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Don’t get married and you’ll be fine. Dating is for fun and sex, marriage is for raising kids. As soon as a woman is locked in she feels like a captive and will start to resent you no matter what you do. Kids multiply that. There’s no amount of house work, money earning, organizing, dating, gifts, etc that will make it easier to have sex with her than the woman standing in the line next to you at Starbucks. The 95% of things you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% she can find issue with matters - and she hates you for it.

So, define your goals with relationships. If being attracted to a partner, having a fun and sexy relationship is what you want - Dating is the way to go. If you want to have and raise children and are mostly done with sex - marriage is the right path.

Damn, bro. It's like everyone BUT YOU can see why you don't get laid.

He’s not wrong. Women just aren’t wired to be sexually attracted to the same person for years. Without novelty their sex drive dies. Take a look at the stats on Lesbian divorce and dead bedrooms and you’ll find that it’s even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Women's hormones change, there is no way she can predict what will happen.

The only female friends I know who are hyper sexual after menopause have bipolar disorder and go through regular manic sex fiend episodes.

[Anonymous]

You are right to be concerned. My libido would also decrease if I were married to a man who said that was his biggest concern about marriage. Without seeming to understand that a decrease in libido is sometimes tied to his own efforts, or lack thereof.

[Anonymous]

There is no way.

It is probably more likely that you will lose the ability to perform.

It is a sad statement that this is your biggest concern in choosing a life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my early 30s, exDH and I had sex 2-3x/day multiple days and always at least daily. And then came the kids.

I wasn't getting sleep at night because I was with the kids. I was running around during the day because I was with the kids. The kids felt more connected to me and always wanted me. Someone was always touching me. Then exDH would want to have sex and it felt like one more chore.

Our 2nd child had significant SN. I was working, managing the older child, and getting called in the middle of the day to come pick up our younger child. The younger child would meltdown and throw the entire house into chaos. Once I finally got him calmed down and the oldest into bed, exDH wanted to have sex.

I didn't want to have sex, I just wanted the day to end. In the morning I didn't want sex because I was waking up to someone crying.

I'm 54 now and dating a 60 yr old. I'm back to having sex 2-3 times when we see each other multiple times per week. Does this mean that my libido subsided or was I overwhelmed by life and kids and needed more help that I wasn't getting?

Well stated.

[Anonymous]

At 50 l still have a pretty high libido but l stopped having sex with ex husband at around 40 because he was treating me badly. I would actually cringe involuntarily when he touched me.

I doubt OP understands the difference between low libido and a bad relationship though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't you care about the woman as a person? Instead of just a hole?

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Don’t get married and you’ll be fine. Dating is for fun and sex, marriage is for raising kids. As soon as a woman is locked in she feels like a captive and will start to resent you no matter what you do. Kids multiply that. There’s no amount of house work, money earning, organizing, dating, gifts, etc that will make it easier to have sex with her than the woman standing in the line next to you at Starbucks. The 95% of things you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% she can find issue with matters - and she hates you for it.

So, define your goals with relationships. If being attracted to a partner, having a fun and sexy relationship is what you want - Dating is the way to go. If you want to have and raise children and are mostly done with sex - marriage is the right path.

You sound like you are a misogynist. Just so you know.

[Anonymous]

I’m female and it was something I considered too while dating. I wanted to make sure my husband didn’t become sexless. While choreplay is important, so is my husband still maintaining his body and mind. I find chubby guys with no interests completely unsexy

[Anonymous]

Answer is most likely no, no matter what performative nonsense women on here would have you believe.